DH got drunk with my daughter(his stepdaughter) and her friend

[ByTealDreamer]

I am trying to figure out if i am overreacting or not. I allowed my daughter and her friend to hace a drink at a sleepover over the weekend (with the friends parents permission of course), and my DH decided he would sit there and get drunk with them alone and discuss some questionable subjects. My daughter and her friend are both under 16, though i wont specify exact ages. am i wrong for think that him discussing topics such as anti-muslim hate(something i by no means agree with), pedophilia, transphobia and other controversial topics, with two young and impressionable teenage girls whilst they had had a drink was out of line and absolutely absurd?!
please give me some opinions cause i cant tell if im seeing it for something it is not.

I doubt the other parents will report this to social services as they also gave their own daughter permission to consume alcohol at her friends house. All parents in this scenario need their heads banging together, extremely irresponsible! They put their daughter at risk, the OP put the girls at risk and the husband is an absolute creep who was the risk. And even if his intentions were innocent he put himself at risk as well as those girls!

Exactly this.
He's a creep and if he isn't then he's stupid as fuck that he doesn't know you don't do this.
Sexual abusive is so common to girls and this is a huge red flag.

Exactly!! That topic is hugely relevant when you’re getting pissed with two CHILDREN!

Girls? Top up? You two are so grown-up now, I don’t think of you as kids anymore, you could easily pass as 22 if you were in town.’ It’s so bloody wrong. Most Dads would want to steer clear of that scenario due to what it looks like.

My Dad who is in his seventies always says he hates it when young kids come over to him when he’s walking the dog because it looks so dodgy. He stopped for a pint in a pub garden the other day and two little girls made a fuss of the dog and wouldn’t leave him alone. There was nothing untoward obviously but he wanted them to leave for fear of what it looked like.

I was groomed in a very similar way between ages 10-11.

The topics of "conversation" were yoga, alternative healing therapies, the life energy of sex ( how a young person having sex with old can literally give all new life to the older one) and the "cool girls" who all smoke, drink and buy porn magazines... Apparently 🤢

@Moveoverdarlin & @Xenoi24
Exactly this 💯 per cent !

This is how 🤔 extremely dodgy situations can happen,

It's under the pretence of let's get cosy and comfortable with each other ,
you know me i am OK we can be just friends hanging out together as equals etc

The topics of conversation are fine and appropriate for that age group. They are discussing similar within school lessons

There is a difference bewteen allowing a drink or 2 and getting drunk at that age under parental supervisor

I'd be preparing yourself for a call from the school DSL tbh

Properly dodgy behaviour, op

You know this, I think

I imagine if he's around then your dds biological dad might have something to say, too...

At worst he's a paedo and at best he is just hugely inappropriate 🚩

@Moveoverdarlin Most Dads would want to steer clear of that scenario due to what it looks like.

Completely agree. When my teen DD came home drunk from a party with her best mate, my DH stayed well clear, shut away in our bedroom until the coast was clear. Any normal man wouldn’t want to be around vulnerable, young, drunk girls.

And can you also see that the mother was in the home and didn't even come to check on the situation? Knowing she allowed alcohol she didn't check on the children? I would think both of them are as bad as each other and complicit in whatever dodgy was going on.

Why would the school dsl find out about this?

As a teacher I’m assuming the poster means the DSL will hear about it when a teacher inevitably is told about it or overhears it from the girls involved. You’d be amazed what my class tells me about what goes on in the home 🙈.

Yes that is so true. My dd told her teacher I was swapping wine for Frosties each night 🤨

Why would they even want to hang out with him anyway?

They probably didn't want to!!

Omg op, this was hugely inappropriate- wtf....

It's very possible that something sexual happened between them. How is he around your dd normally?

It’s hard to believe you have to think about whether or not you are overreacting - but then, you failed to see the inappropriateness of giving impressionable 14-15 year old girls alcohol at a sleepover, so obviously have a tenuous grasp on what is and is not likely to give them an undesirable impression of what is and is not appropriate behaviour.