To think husband is being unreasonable? a bra is not taboo/inappropriate

[brabrablacksheep]

I get dressed in the bathroom each morning after a shower. The night before I lay my clothes out on the radiator in the bathroom, including my bra so that they are warm when the heating comes on after I get out of the shower.

My husband had removed my bra this morning when he got up before me and put it in our room. When I asked why he said it was inappropriate because teen stepchild in the house so not right to leave it "lying around"...

Am I unreasonable to think this is really ridiculous? It's just a piece of clothing that 99% of women wear every day. It's not sexual it's a bloody bra. Not like I left a flipping vibrator lying around the bathroom?!

OKPedro I agree us women had enough shame growing up and it is up to us mum's to make it normal which it is. Information is key.

I don't need to have a shower or use the bathroom with other people's clothes there so no I wouldn't do it to others

Nothing to do with male of female clothes or adults, children or teenagers around

Same as I have nothing wrong with someone seeing me naked by accident but no I don't need to deliberately walk around naked just because I have the right too, and I need to see other people naked either

Bodies are bodies bit I presume if a teenage boy walks around naked in front of a teenage girl all he'll would break loose

So clothes, bra's, naked bodies is there really a need?

It’s not shame - I don’t want to see other people’s pants hanging around unless they’re close family .

I do think her husband and stepson have got a cheek to be expecting her to pick up boxers after the sons shower ,fuck that .

Yes - it absolutely should work both ways . You don’t want to see his pants and he doesn’t want to see yours

I’m not hiding it from boys - my son has known what a tampon is and what it’s for since he was two. I don’t need to clutter up my limited bathroom counter space with boxes of sanpro just for the education of my children though. They see the items in the same cabinet as their toothbrushes etc, they aren’t a state secret.

It may come down to how you use your house - I have kid’s friends of both sexes, visiting in-laws, husband’s mates, acquaintances over for a hobby committee meeting, my friends etc etc all using our bathroom on occasion. I don’t think it’s particularly unusual to choose not to advertise which size of pads I’m using or my moon cup to some of my DH’s sports mates or my father in law by making a display of them on the bathroom windowsill. It’s personal. And it looks a lot tidier if everything is put away.

If you have a bathroom only ever used by you, your spouse and your own children, or just with more space than mine, I can see why you’d choose differently.

I have an adult stepson living with me. I don't leave my underwear floating around in communal bathrooms and wouldn't appreciate him doing it either.

Good thing I haven't got teen boys around because I leave my uniform for the following day on the washing basket next to the sink including, shock horror bra and socks. How would they cope?
I do it because I get ready at 5am not sure my DH would appreciate me crashing around at that time. Then I leave my nightie there for me to put back when I return or DH will put it in the bedroom because he's not scared of women's clothes.

Are you from the 1930s house????

I remember being a teenager and finding my parents' underwear very embarrassing indeed - nothing sexual, just a shy teen.

Regardless of what any of us think, if your stepson is uncomfortable then I think it's time to make a change. I wouldn't relish seeing, say, FIL's boxers or even MIL's bra every morning or evening when I went to do my teeth.

Same here. Handy things, towelling robes.

@sheoaouhra Are you saying that you would never dry any of your underwear over any radiator? Just your underwear or anyone's ? Over any radiator ?

Of course all clothing should be able to be left around in your own home, and of of course a bra is a functional, innocent item.

In the real world, assuming your teenage step son isn't a child you've brought up from infancy and doesn't see you as an actual mother - the only real question is are you happy with him (and friends if you're out) wanking over your bra when he's in the bathroom alone with it. If you are, happy days and carry on. If not put it in your bedroom.

Completely ridiculous

Your husband probably remembers being a teenage boy and the mindset of teenage boys

I breastfed two kids, so I get that breasts aren’t always sexual. But I’ve been seeing this claim from some straight women lately that there should be nothing sexual about breasts, that people need to consider breast a non-sexual body part - and I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen. Breasts are like bums. They don’t have to be sexual, but they can be, and people are always going to be attracted to them.

It’s one thing to be a teenage boy and know that your stepmother wears a bra. It’s another thing to be a teenage boy and know that your stepmother wears (for example) a satiny lavender bra with underwire. It might be NBD to him, but it’s potentially embarrassing to him, especially if you entered his life when he was already a teenager or preteen.

He needs to stop leaving his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.

😂 All I can think about is what my teenage brothers would have done with mine or my mother’s bras. I was an E cup by the time I left high school and the first thing myself and my equally endowed mother would do when we entered the house was rip our bras off. We’d not always find them the next day because they’d be used as some kind of particle joke by my brothers.

To be fair though they would have been embarrassed if their mates were around and our bras would have been thrown in our rooms, out of site.

Agree, this is the absolute limit of any and all compromise on this matter.

And I would be having a comment about DSS dirty pants left laying about - your bra isn’t dirty and stinky and carelessly left about.

🤣🤣🤣 why?

Reminds me of a channel 4 advert that used to play on a Friday night before Friends - 2 blokes (living in a house share with 2 women) sat in the kitchen with the bra on his head saying “come in Moscow, over!” like some WW2 bomber pilot - one of the women walks in pulls of the bra and calls them a pair of idiots. :)

How the fuck do you do the laundry?

Tell him to grow the fuck up.
Your DH not the SS.

Has it got dangly nipple tassels or something?

Exactly this

If your husband thinks you’re doing something that is making his son uncomfortable then you need to respect that whatever it is or however stupid you think that is.

Absolutely this!!

Of course bras are perfectly normal items of clothing but to teens they can be embarrassing/awkward.

I vividly remember seeing my mums boyfriend/SD’s underwear hanging up in the bathroom and felt really uncomfortable about it.
I absolutely hated it but can’t explain why.

It’s on you as adults to help a child feel comfortable and do what you can to not make them feel uncomfortable.