To think husband is being unreasonable? a bra is not taboo/inappropriate

[brabrablacksheep]

I get dressed in the bathroom each morning after a shower. The night before I lay my clothes out on the radiator in the bathroom, including my bra so that they are warm when the heating comes on after I get out of the shower.

My husband had removed my bra this morning when he got up before me and put it in our room. When I asked why he said it was inappropriate because teen stepchild in the house so not right to leave it "lying around"...

Am I unreasonable to think this is really ridiculous? It's just a piece of clothing that 99% of women wear every day. It's not sexual it's a bloody bra. Not like I left a flipping vibrator lying around the bathroom?!

I'm guessing your DH had very uptight parents. Hiding bras away, whatever next. Would you be required to hide a bikini top too? Would SS faint if he saw you in one?

A straight stepson? I think its right to help prevent any weird feelings he may have about breasts.

Don't be so ridiculous. There's nothing 'weird' about a teenage boy having feelings about breasts. However, bras aren't breasts. Underwear is just clothes, and the boy leaves his own pants lying around! Presumably the OP should be forbidden from hanging washing out to dry too?

Absurd that men apparently spend their whole time thinking about women's body parts, and yet it's somehow women's responsibility to inconvenience themselves and monitor their own perfectly normal to behaviour in order to protect the poor delicate chaps from being confronted by some clothes

You do realize some of us actually wear the dang contraptions in order to keep things from getting too bouncy, and not to provide sexual titillation to some bloke? Also see: sports bras.

*unwarmed, not unwanted. Sodding autocorrect!

Would a bikini top be OK?
Are you even allowed to go on holiday with SS?

I mean I am guessing you put your clothes in bathroom so you aren't walking back to the bedroom in a towel....or even naked....to get dressed? How are you supposed to do that if the bra is in the bedroom?
Are knickers OK?
I mean is it even OK for SS to see the shower? Given you use it naked?

How do you wash and dry your underwear without SS seeing it?

I think the sooner teenage lads know that bras are just a very normal unsexy part of life the better all round. I can’t actually quite believe people have these puritanical and quite frankly, misogynistic ideas in this day and age.

Absurd. Please leave visible a huge bowl of tampons / pads in addition to the bra.

When will stepchild be old enough to be informed that women wear underwear? Wouldn't want him to be traumatised by the info. Which has now reminded me, my grandfather, born 1884, told me how shocked he was when he, aged about 4, realised his mother had legs. In an age of floor length gowns, he'd never considered how she got around. And other women too! All with legs.

I think your dh is being ridiculous. Even a teenage stepson at the height of puberty would not be wanking off to their step mums bra. We need to stop over sexualising every thing.

I find it a bit strange you leave your underwear in the bathroom to put on the next day. Whilst there’s no issue for the kids seeing a bra, why leave it there? I wouldn’t want to see anyone’s underwear hanging around the bathroom.

I wouldn’t do this on a daily basis if I had a step son. (And fwiw I don’t make a display of sanpro either).

YANBU in the slightest.

Breasts are normal, would your husband tell you not to breastfeed in front of him too?

I'm not sure I would be so confident about that tbh.

While on another thread Mumsnetters are saying teen boys are pervs who snoop through their SM’s underwear draws and doors should be locked to stop them.

1. I get annoyed by DH leaving any clothes lying around the bathroom, stop being messy.
2. Teenage boy with step-mum's bra and knickers - no, you're being unfair to him, no need to flash underwear.
3. Clothes warm up in the 5 min to wee and shower, you don't need to leave them overnight.

It’s not inappropriate at all. Your husband, and everyone who agrees with him needs to get a grip

i agree. Bras are normal and any measures taken to cover up the fact you wear them is OTT.

If you're in the UK it will be summer soon so you can stop that

Tbh, I didn't like seeing my parents' underwear when I was that age. They're just a bit too personal, somehow.

It's ridiculous to make a fuss over it, but I'd compromise by putting the bra under another item of clothing.

...

I was thinking stepson child, embarrassing. But if he leaves his pants around then crack on!?!? I’m not sure I could, just in case… 🙈🤣 Stifler’s mom vibes.

God, my h once hid my tampons because his mum was coming to visit. 🙄 I was not impressed.

I'd say yanbu. Put the bra under your top so it's not visible?!

Where do you dry the washing? Surely it's visible at times and even your pants (shock horror) might be seen when being dried. It's ridiculous to think kids won't see parents underwear (not on).

I don’t think you need to hide your underwear and if it was a washing line I’d say your DH was ridiculous. But honestly I don’t want to be brushing my teeth etc right next to a pile of someone else’s clothes on the bathroom radiator, bra or not.

Why can’t you just put the clothes on the radiator when you enter the bathroom to take a shower?

Just set the expectation that a bathroom should be left ready for the next person to use - and that also applies to him leaving his pants on the floor.

Not sure anyone should be leaving their clothes around in a communal space really, does it make him feel its your personal space and he's a guest in your space or is this what your husband thinks? So not sexual, just personal?