To think husband is being unreasonable? a bra is not taboo/inappropriate

[brabrablacksheep]

I get dressed in the bathroom each morning after a shower. The night before I lay my clothes out on the radiator in the bathroom, including my bra so that they are warm when the heating comes on after I get out of the shower.

My husband had removed my bra this morning when he got up before me and put it in our room. When I asked why he said it was inappropriate because teen stepchild in the house so not right to leave it "lying around"...

Am I unreasonable to think this is really ridiculous? It's just a piece of clothing that 99% of women wear every day. It's not sexual it's a bloody bra. Not like I left a flipping vibrator lying around the bathroom?!

Oh good grief it's only a bra.
He needs to get a grip.
YANBU

DH is definitely BU.
What do you do with your laundry that’s drying?
that said - teenage boys can be squirming and I would just put it under the other items of clothing so it couldn’t be seen.

I've got teenage sons, if they got offended by any bras drying I'd be telling them to get a grip too 😁
Not hiding the bras away like they're shameful.
I have to put up with their pants, they can put up with my bra lol

Are you allowed to say the word period or is that banned as well 🙄🙄

I would very happily tell her to get a grip, just as I did to DH who felt the need to put a box of tampons out of sight in the bathroom. No double standard in our house. As I will reiterate again to you there is nothing sexual about underwear lying around. If you think there is then you have an issue I’m afraid

Thankfully I’m not in the business of raising a snowflake so it’s not a conversation I will ever need to be having!

I don't think it's appropriate to be getting dressed in the only bathroom but it has nothing to do with clothing on radiators, just get dressed in the bedroom to free up the bathroom

We have all kinds of clothes lying around just not in the bathroom I should add, though it's DDs and dsd's who don't care what I see

I always have a box of tampons on top of the cistern in my downstairs loo. That way, any visitors who have an emergency and need one can help themselves.

Teenagers of both sexes have seen them on occasion. No trauma there.

Missing the point but why on earth is your heating on in may? Or do you live in one of those huge old houses that is permanently Baltic?!

You can keep telling yourself that. Meanwhile, teenage boys (and a lot of men) will continue to find underwear arousing.

If stepDS has an issue with it then he doesn't come round again! Simple as that

I get it, but I'd not leave my knickers or bra in communal bathroom for DSS to see. He is 15 and lives with us, maybe that's different as he is always there so a fixture in the home, but he would not like to find my underwear in the bathroom and I'd not like him to find it.
I think it's more that it would embarrass him, he's a teen. They're growing up and going through a lot and if he is going to find bras or think about them, I'd rather they weren't mine!
I guess it's also about being courteous to the other members of the household. i font want to find his pants in there either and if DD had a step parent one day i wouldnt want her leaving her bra around for them to find.

They are only clothes. As here there are a range of opinions. If DSSs mother is not as open as you are then yes he may
find it difficult. Or if you haven’t been together that long so DSS doesn’t have as much sense of you as a mother figure rather than his dad’s partner/wife.

im not saying it is right or wrong, just that these aren’t other factors to consider.

I am sure he will get over it!

I have 2 boys, they see my bras and knickers on the airer every day. They have seen my tampon and sanitary pad stash in the bathroom cupboard. I have also washed their skid stained undies over the years. They are boys, boys need to be aware of all things female just like I’m all too aware of all things male. I’m the only female in this house, I wear bras, have funny knickers and I have periods unfortunately. They are boys, they leave mess, pee on the loo seat, wear boxers etc, you name it I’ve seen it and probably cleaned it and washed it. I don’t like the thought of anything being taboo or being ashamed for being female in my own home. I would honestly cringe if ever I managed to marry them off and they got their boxers in a twist over a bra or a tampon.

Oh no, there is a bra on the radiator in the bathroom! I’d wrap it round his head because I appreciate warm clothes after a shower and I do this too.

DH needs to remove the stick from
his rear. What a wet wipe.

Ha ha, he would be mortified by me leaving my false boob (had a single mastectomy) around the house!

Yes. You are being unreasonable without talking to your husband further.

You don't say how old step-son is?

But he'll be having wet dreams and masturbating.

Maybe your husband has seen his son looking at your body? And felt instinctively uncomfortable.

Your step-son is a child. You both have a duty of care to protect him.

Just because you think a bra is any old wear - your step son might become excited by the idea of female lingerie.

He does not think of you as his "mum".

My husband will get out of bed and walk around in his underwear. But so many times, when we had teenage girls staying in the house on sleepovers, I've had to mumble or shout out, "Put a dressing gown on!"

It's not that my husband wants to parade around provocatively in underwear in front of teenage girls. But it's just not appropriate. I honestly believe teenage girls would feel uncomfortable if they saw my husband in just his underwear.

So learn boundaries and teach your step-son to respect boundaries.

‘Instinctively uncomfortable’ 🤣 Should OP also be hiding her DSS eyes whilst walking through the lingerie department of the supermarket? Absolutely ridiculous, get a grip. If you think that underwear sitting around and your DH walking around half naked is the same thing then you really need to get a reality check

@ranoutofquinoaandprosecco I had a friend who had mastectomy and her little kids would throw it at each other as well.
I can't get over all these families who can't see underwear as just washing like all the rest of it .
When I was a child lived in a mixed household , no body gave a shit about what was underwear and what wasn't , it was just laundry .
I have probably taken in my dad's y- fronts ,who cares. My sons have probably taken the laundry off the line as well .
It's like some families are stuck in the past .
Maybe it's my working class past laundry is laundry and it can be found on the clothes horse not in some special secret place .

I personally don’t see any issue with leaving a bra on a radiator in your own home, I would draw a line at a lacy thong though. 🤣Wondering why your husband thinks your knickers are fine but not your bra.. unless you don’t hang them on the radiator too

Only if they tried it on and it was the wrong size!

Stepson, keep it hidden he's embarrassed l

Who needs a toasty bra? 🤔Teen boys embarrass easily. Follow your husband’s lead when it comes to the teen.

Surly there’s a compromise here? Put the bra on the radiator (toasty boobs) and then put your top over it (no embarrassed teenager). Personally I do think it’s a bit silly but if I wanted to keep the space that’s what I’d do.

It all boils down to wether you care about your step son’s feelings or not. Boys feel very differently to step mothers underwear than vice versa. It’s highly embarrassing for him I don’t doubt. He’s just a kid. Give him a break.