To think husband is being unreasonable? a bra is not taboo/inappropriate

[brabrablacksheep]

I get dressed in the bathroom each morning after a shower. The night before I lay my clothes out on the radiator in the bathroom, including my bra so that they are warm when the heating comes on after I get out of the shower.

My husband had removed my bra this morning when he got up before me and put it in our room. When I asked why he said it was inappropriate because teen stepchild in the house so not right to leave it "lying around"...

Am I unreasonable to think this is really ridiculous? It's just a piece of clothing that 99% of women wear every day. It's not sexual it's a bloody bra. Not like I left a flipping vibrator lying around the bathroom?!

Maybe not, but suggestions on an Internet forum from random strangers don’t really matter when focusing on the actual situation at hand. I’m just curious really as to if mens underwear is treated in this same secretive way. Anyway, don’t want to derail!

I disagree, I don’t think people would be more sympathetic, if they were, we’d hear about it from that side more if that was the case, but I’ve only ever heard about women having to hide away their underwear or Sandro.

This is the first thread where I've ever heard of it happening at all, tbh.

I don't think anyone us suggesting it will kill him are they? I just don't think there's any need to leave your underwear lying around the house.

I dry my clothes on an airer in the spare room when the weather is bad.

DD is beside me right now and giggling at the thought of family members feeling the need to hide their underwear from each other. It’s absolutely ridiculous and of course her stepdad has seen her bras lying around the house - in fact he also often does the washing so he’s even (god forbid for some MN posters) probably touched them! Why would she ever feel the need to hide them? The only strange thing is the amount of people who think that a bog standard bra sitting around is something sexual. The way some people are acting you’d think that she’d left her Ann Summers order out for the teen DC to inspect 🙄

And I feel the same about underwear belonging to either sex.

We teach children the PANTS rule about keeping their private areas private then as soon as they turn 16 we expect boys to be completely chilled about seeing their step mums bra every morning while they clean their teeth.

Genuinely asking - why would a pair of boxers be something that you don’t want to see? It’s just a pair of pants for goodness sake and doesn’t matter who owns them

Can’t believe people think you are being unreasonable.

why have we become so prudish that a bra is seen as overly exciting-are we entering a new Victorian era?

It is not for a teen boy to decide the mores and norms of a household. If he finds a bra embarrassing, he needs to get over himself. If he gets aroused, so what? Teens have a lot of testosterone and, again, it is normal.

Please tell me that this is satire

I rock a 36F cup and obviously a danger to society when l hang my washing out 😀.

Personally I would not leave my underwear in a bathroom used by houseguests regardless of who they are and their age.

Stepchildren are not house guests and do not need to be treated as such. They are family

I think it's a bit disingenuous to say that the relationship between step-parents and step-children is the same as that between (biological) parents and children.

No, it is certainly not the same relationship from personal experience with DD and DH. He is not a father figure to her but they are close and we are very much a family along with his kids (my stepchildren). I cannot imagine ever referring to any of them as house guests - that is unacceptable

Yeah it's not the same

@fieldsofbutterflies

But of course because this thread is about a man making a request of a woman, you can't empathise with that feeling of embarrassment without being bashed.

👆👆👆

And I feel the same about underwear belonging to either sex.

We teach children the PANTS rule about keeping their private areas private then as soon as they turn 16 we expect boys to be completely chilled about seeing their step mums bra every morning while they clean their teeth.

An item of underwear (on a radiator or a washing line, or indeed in a shop) is not someone's private area though, is it? It's a piece of underwear. Everyone wears underwear. It's just clothes. If the stepson were resident in the house all the time, would people still expect the OP to be vigilant about never letting him catch a glimpse of her underwear in the laundry? Maybe paint over the glass bit in the washing machine just in case?

But of course because this thread is about a man making a request of a woman, you can't empathise with that feeling of embarrassment without being bashed.

Are you honestly suggesting that if a woman made the same request to her dh (wrt to stepdaughter), the responses would be any different? I actually think they'd be far more incredulous. And you know why? Because nobody sexualises men's pants in the way men do women's underwear. Sounds like a man problem to me. And yet who gets asked to sort it out and make allowances? Women.

You ignored my second question.

I answered it for you - she has no reason to feel awkward and therefore never has. Not sure why you want me to create a hypothetical situation

I hope you make sure you cover the table legs, OP.

😂😂😂

This is so weird. Does he also think you shouldn't hang them on the airer or the washing line?!

He's being ridiculous.

Nah. That wasn't my question. I'll repeat it - if she had felt awkward at him seeing them, would you still think she was a snowflake and tell her there is nothing sexual about bras so just let her stepfather see them?

I want to know if you think that only teenage boys are "snowflakes" if they feel awkward regarding underwear, or if you'd have the same attitude with your daughter about it and force her to put up with it.

My step son wouldn’t bat an eyelid at that ! And by hubby wouldn’t dare to move it lol .
yes you are right a bra is not taboo or even sexualised in any way , it’s a piece of clothes