To think it’s not ‘cruel’ to take DD to the gym at 7.30am

[Eastie77Returns]

I attend an early gym class every Saturday morning. I leave the house around 7am.

I leave DS and DD at home with DP. He takes DS to football practice around 9am and DD tags along but she has become increasingly unhappy about having to go. I therefore gave her 2 other choices: come to the gym with with me or stay at home alone for 10/15 minutes as I’m home from the gym by 9.15-am latest. This morning I asked her what she wanted to do (I gave her the options earlier in the week so she had time to consider). She began complaining loudly saying none of the options were good ones and she just wanted me to stay at home with her. I explained that I was not prepared to miss my class and in the end she decided to come with me. As we were leaving DP began muttering that’s it’s unfair and cruel to drag her to a gym at the crack of dawn when Saturday morning should be her down time.

If it makes any difference, it’s a David Lloyd gym. DD is a member and she enjoyed a breakfast in the restaurant area and read a book while I did my class. She played with another girl in the play area and the two of them have signed up for a taster kids class so she was fine. But I’ve now received a text from my dad saying he’s heard (obviously from DP) from that “poor DD is being dragged to a gym on Saturdays” so she can stay with him on Friday evenings if she prefers. Obviously I would be expected to drop off and pick her up. I said no.

AIBU to think this is a load of fuss about absolutely nothing?

How old is DD?

my first question is.. how old is DD? im guessing as shes a member, she must be 13 or 14?

Honestly if she's old enough to be left to eat alone in the restaurant unsupervised and sensible enough to then sit and read her book then just leave the poor kid at home.

Why the fuck is it your plan that’s the unreasonable one?

How old is your daughter? Why doesn’t she want to stay in her own?

Good for you for exercising and doing self care.

Can you go out together afterwards?

YABU if you’re breaking the gym’s rules that DC of your DD’s age are supervised.

DP is U to have said that if it was in front of the DC and to involve your dad. Your dad should mind his own business!

The ‘poor’ kid was offered that, but said no.

Well it's either that or her being dragged to football for the benefit of her brother.

Sounds like she's nobody's priority.

She only said no because she clearly wanted to spend time with her mum and given her mum was going to the gym regardless she felt obligated to come along.

Next week don't give her the option. Just leave her at home with the promise of doing something nice together once you've finished the class.

This.

She had the choice to stay home but chose not to.

How old is she ? Does she get down time with you? Does she have a hobby that she attends?

I wouldn't be a fan of children being unsupervised at the gym. Ours has a no under 16 rule so i a little confused at her being old enough to be unsupervised and playing.

Really? Just because the first couple of hours on a Saturday aren’t about her?? How do you know what else does on in the other 166 hours of the week?

It's fine OP. She was given options. You need time as well.

They’re both being ridiculous, you’re hardly dragging the kid down a coal mine for 12 hours. You also gave her a choice! Don’t feel that you have to defend yourself, they’re being pathetic.

7:30 isn’t the crack of dawn 😂

If she’s young enough not to be then one of the moaning men in your life can do something about it.

Parents are allowed to do things that aren't about their children, you know.

From "played in the play area" I'm guessing she's pretty young? So perhaps didn't feel comfortable staying at home alone.

She was able to choose to go with DP though, yes?

Where have you got the information that she wanted to spent time with her mum?

it just reads like she doesn’t want to be left home alone to me.

why should OP miss her gym class?

What ridiculous hyperbole 🙄. Parents are allowed to still do things for themselves. She was offered the option to stay at home and chose to have a strop. Don’t think this is a case for Childline 🙄

I mean - I do actually think leaving the house at 7 on a saturday is pretty harsh!! after a full week at school. But - its not exactly child labour is it.

It seems nice that her grandad offered to have her?

How old? What does she get to do 'for her'?

All these responses without knowing the completely and utterly relevant, and pointless without it, girls age!

You are not unreasonable at all.

From the first post...

She began complaining loudly saying none of the options were good ones and she just wanted me to stay at home with her

She wanted her mum to stay home because she wanted to be at home with her mum. The fact she went with the OP when she said the class was her priority shows she wanted time with her mum even if it meant sitting in the cafe and being left alone to entertain herself. Otherwise she would have just stayed home.

Sorry but this is the reality of having siblings. My 6yo dd is dragged around constantly to various football matches and training as I'm a lone parent. It's not cruel. Just like her brothers get dragged to dance (although my eldest can stay home now). They get 'dragged' to shops, on errands, dog walks. It's life.