Who pays first date

[Honeybu]

Ok I just been for a first date coffee.

been chatting with the guy online and he asks to meet up for a coffee so I agree and went on the date. He then proceeded to make his order ( latte and sandwich) cost £8 at the counter and paid for his bill without asking what I wanted. I then ordered mine and paid (latte and sandwich) cost £8 and paid . I got sandwich as wouldn’t want to sit and watch him eat feel awkward.

I felt he should’ve paid given that he asks me out. If I ask a friend or any new male/female friend I’m getting to know I would pay as I ask them to come for drink.

offcourse once we progress I would be paying and contributing.

Please what is your opinion on first date who should pay?

This post is not about judgement on me but your opinion and experience to share. Thanks

Who asked who is a cop out and an excuse. Fifty fifty on a first date, you don’t even know each other.

So you pay for the bloke then, or are you the only one with your hand out?

Absolutely 50/50. When you invite someone out, you are surely asking for their company, not offering to pay for them to be with you.

You shouldn't expect anything from someone, any more than they should expect something from you, had they paid.

Because that's my expectation in a relationship.

I have to confess I do enjoy a good who pays on a first date thread and the mental acrobats required by some to enable them to call a man tight for going 50/50 while they refuse to open their purse at all.

It's not a relationship - they'd never even met before!! 😂

This wasn’t a meal out. It was a frickin coffee.

£3.50 OP - move the fuck on

Of course 50/50. Someone has to be the first to ask the other one out. If you'd asked him out would you have paid for him?

What a tragic amount of old bollocks over £8!!

From a man you've never met before?

😂😂😂😂😂

£3.50 for a coffee 🤣

If I had several dates lined up over the next couple of weeks I sure as shit wouldn't be spending £3.50s at all of them on men I barely knew. So I wouldn't expect them to spend that on me.

Nope - move in. He is proper tight.

An addition to a mutually self affirming relationship built on trust and liking. You get continued friendship in return.

Traditionally men pay for everything and expect women to put out..... If you want traditional gender roles then be upset that he didn't pay. If you want modern equality then be pleased he didn't. Dont expect to be able to mix and match both positions.

This has cracked me up. Maybe you could get a loyalty card 🤣

I never expected a man to pay for me on a first date, I would always want to go 50/50.
If a man wants/offers to pay then lovely, but I've never understood this whole thing around men 'should' pay on a first date.

I dont really count coffee as a first date. It's more of a low-key introductory meeting to decide if we want to progress to a date.
Anyway, I dont think either person should have obligations or expectations regarding money at this stage. You aren't even close to being in a relationship, so no one should be covering the expenses of the other.

The person who makes the invitation pays.

I would not allow a man to buy me a coffee or anything on a first date. We’d either simply pay for our own or go 50/50.

I’m not interested in a relationship with someone who seems to be traditional.

But what if he’s going on three dates that week, he pays for all of them? And if you had three dates - you’ll expect them to pay as well?

So you don't believe in equality.

He may be careful with money in the future, invest well and never get into debt.
He may consider a woman with expectations of being paid for to be a bit risky in the future, will she be too dependent?

50/50, I don't understand the need for a man to pay because he's a man.
I work, I earn and don't need a man to pay for me because I'm a woman, I can manage and expect to do so myself.
I imagine it would maybe be a red flag if he found out he was expected to pay, it would make me wonder if someone was hoping to eventually be kept.

If they offer to pay on the first date I let them. Every time I have suggested splitting the bill on the first date has led to some very unattractive counting the pennies behaviour in subsequent dates.

I do also think, however, that if they don’t offer to pay, there are some very big chances that we didn’t “click” at all. So I pay my part and assume I have been placed on the back burner or I will not hear from
them again … so I move them to the back burner too and only talk to them if they contact me AND I am bored.

Anyone who insisted I did something, or who would decide what I was allowed to do would never get a second date.

He invited you . I think he should have paid . I mean, a fucking coffee . What a tight ass .