Who pays first date

[Honeybu]

Ok I just been for a first date coffee.

been chatting with the guy online and he asks to meet up for a coffee so I agree and went on the date. He then proceeded to make his order ( latte and sandwich) cost £8 at the counter and paid for his bill without asking what I wanted. I then ordered mine and paid (latte and sandwich) cost £8 and paid . I got sandwich as wouldn’t want to sit and watch him eat feel awkward.

I felt he should’ve paid given that he asks me out. If I ask a friend or any new male/female friend I’m getting to know I would pay as I ask them to come for drink.

offcourse once we progress I would be paying and contributing.

Please what is your opinion on first date who should pay?

This post is not about judgement on me but your opinion and experience to share. Thanks

I don’t think anyone is.

OP never insisted he pay for her coffee. She paid for her own.

But yeah some of us think he is a tight arse and should be avoided.

KateDelRick · Today 20:30
MrsSkylerWhite · Today 20:29

The person who invites should pay.

What if it's a mutual decision?”

Well it is, isn’t it, by definition? The invitee said yes. Still think inviter (is that a word?) ought to pay.

So you’d both get your £3.50 out? Shuffle through the copper in your bag?

I suppose it depends on your financial situation. If your skint then. I suppose £3.50 might be a chore.

However, I only date people that most likely have the same financial situation as me. I wouldn’t date someone who earned significantly less than me. So if they couldn’t even shout me coffee I’d assume they were just an arse

Surely these days it's 50/50 irrespective of who instigates the meeting first?

Where are people getting £3.50 from?

Do you ever shout them coffee ,or do you expect them too all the time because if you do they might assume your an arse?

Always the man and they should insist. I wouldn’t go on another date if I had to pay.

women have it the worst both ways! Having our cake and eating it! Working a successful career while doing all the house stuff.

That was my assumption when I was dating 20 years ago.

But you are not doing all their housework on a first date are you it's a first date .

Feels like a coffee with a colleague from work. Very official vibes

Also to add - why would women automatically end up with all the housework? DP is capable of (and does) do an equal share. Being a man doesn't stop him.

This is interesting!

Generally speaking, women do spent longer getting ready for dates than men. I’d feel quite flat if I blow dried my hair and put a bit of slap on and my date didn’t even offer to shout me a coffee.

I'd have wanted him to offer, then I'd have insisted on paying my share. At the start at least, men are generally trying to impress. This would put me off too, not because I want paying for, but because I like generous men.

So you think a man should pay because you have blow dried your hair 🤔

In a nutshell, yes. Think of it as compensation for my time!

but if you don't offer to pay that means you aren't interested.

Like a prostitute?

Please tell me I am wrong.

It’d put me off to be honest; it’s not like it’s a dinner with cocktails. He picked the place and invited you, from my perspective he should have paid

I’ve been on lots of first dates over the last year, like 15/20 and I’ve never went 50/50 or paid. I’ve offered, and totally don’t mind going 50/50 but every man has paid🤷‍♀️

This would definitely put me off, not him not paying but it just feels a bit rude for him to get his own and not ask you what you want.

Wow! What about compensation for his time?

I think I’d have expected him to pay but it wouldn’t be a deal breaker. To be clear if I’d have suggested the date, I’d have offered to pay so it’s not a gender issue.

50:50. You pay your food, he buys his...it's safe and no pressure.

Yes, exactly like a prostitute.

Not sure how successful a business model that is mind you 🤣.

This is his best behaviour. He walks up to the counter, orders for himself and that's it. I think it's really rude. If I was the first at the counter then I would pay. It's no big bloody deal is it, to pay for a couple of coffees and sandwiches.

As for people saying oh well he might have several dates in one week my heart bleeds for him!

Others say men traditionally pay for everything. Have a look at the relationship board with the number of cocklodgers there. It's an eye opener.