To be worrying about these children in my local park?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

They seem to be there every time I go, never with a parent or guardian, usually playing by the pond. I mostly see them at weekends or late afternoon, but they have been there on school days too.

They are really lovely children, very well spoken and like to play with my DC. I just can't help but worry about them. They are brothers and sisters, a 12 year old girl, and boys aged 9, 5 and 4. They have told me they live around the corner and are allowed to play in the park.

I have chatted to them lots as they like to help the DC with feeding the ducks, but they have often eaten the bread themselves. They are always very muddy and dressed in worn out, too small clothes. I've bought them all ice creams from the cafe before and shared picnics and they seem ravenous.

Am I just being suspicious, or is it possible they are being neglected? I hate to judge and consider myself very liberal but I think children of this age shouldn't be allowed free rein in a city park (we are in London)

I would be quite happy for dd to go to the park with little brother (if she was well enough) and often see 12-13yo in charge of younger siblings.

But I would be very unhappy if either of my children accepted anything from a stranger, or did not count someone as a stranger because they had spoken to them before at the park. Too easy for a stranger to turn into a non-stranger iyswim.

TDWP i havent read all the replys on your thread but i do think you have a right to be concerned BUT can i just say (and please dont jump down my throat) i think you are extrememly kind to be feeding and chatting to these children, but unfortuantly in this day and age you have to be careful, if any of these children went missing and someone had seen you talking/feeding them etc you might have police knocking on your door questioning you. Do i sound completely insane?

So in future shall I just blank them ? For fear of ruining their teeth/ undermining their mother/ becoming a murder suspect.

no not at all, you take F&Z advice

OR phone ss, tell them your concerns and ask them if they can be present at the park and speak to the children themselves

noooo
do what you think is the right thing to do
I am not saying they should not have taken the ice creams, but I would be surprised if they haven't been told not to, IYSWIM

F& help me plan my note to send with the girl.

How do i word it without sounding like a freak?

"Dear Parent of (children's names). Hello, I hope you don't mind me writing to you, but my children have had such a good time playing with your children in the park this week, that I wondered if they would like to come for tea with us one day, perhaps the X of X? You would be very welcome to come as well of course. We live at XXXXXX. Please phone me on XXXXXX - we would love to hear from you - or we are usually in the park at X time each day if you would like to discuss face to face."

don't know if this is bonkers or not but is my first attempt at normality

F&Z thanks, thats pretty much what I thought. I will give it a go.

kama is a very tricky situation
I think it is good for children to learn to make judgements for themselves, but this goes against the usual rules we make for them. If you have never been allowed to talk to strangers or try to judge whether a situation is safe, how good are you going to be at keeping yourself safe when you are a young adult? It isn't a skill you can learn overnight - it needs practise, and a chance to make mistakes in a reasonably safe environment.

sorry practice
I think

And how do we ow there are active local sex offenders?
I am not so worried, I was very shocked when I let the DC play naked in the paddling pool and my friend was horrified and wouldn't even let her DS take his t shirt off.

I refuse to compromise my DC's childhood for fear of paedophilia.

Hell in London, the statistics seem it's more likely they would be shot.

Devil, are you in Wimbledon ? It sounds like my park !

I agree RR but I certainly won't run to SS. I just wondered as I know their names I could call our health visitor, as I assume they must have the family on their books?

Or should I just not interfere at all? I fully plan to send a note as fandz suggested, but what if I hear nothing back?

I thought that Franny - very swallows and amazons.

Thing is, how long do you spend at the park? They might go there, pop home, go back and so on all day.

And just a niggler, but it might be the dad looking after them, not the mother. Dads do tend to let kids off the leash more than mothers.

It might be the dad, but he too was nowhere to be seen. It is a fairly small park.

There are days when I spend hours there as we have no garden and I take a book and let the DC roam (within eyeview)

The 12 year-old sounds like she is doing a great job of looking after her little brothers.

The only concern I would have comes from TDWP's observations that the children are ravenous.

Short of turning up every day with a huge picnic to share with them, I'm not sure what can be done though, tbh.

From the age of about 9, I used to spend my school holidays roaming about, with just a flask of warm orange squash and a packet of crisps to sustain me.

I was out from morning until dark.

Sometimes with younger siblings in tow.

And I survived.

So, if TDWP thinks these children are truly being neglected and harmed, then of course there is the option of reporting the situation to the authorities.

But if they are just a bit scruffy, and are just keen to snaffle down the ice creams kindly bought by a lovely lady that they are familiar with - perhaps their parents are doing no more wrong than most parents did 20 years ago?

It's a tricky one.