To never leave the house ever again

[Dodosareextinct]

Had the worst experience shopping today...took my 1 and 2 year olds food shopping. Both fell asleep in the car, which is great as they're usually happy when they wake up. Anyway, 2yo started screaming as soon as I put her in the pram. She continued screaming, despite my best efforts to correct and redirect, talk in a soothing voice, ask if she wanted to help with shopping, asking if she wanted a cuddle, to sit in trolley instead of pram, if she wanted pram snacks, to watch something on my phone etc, everything I could think of to calm her down. Everything I said was met with screams and hitting out at me. So I decided to continue with shopping as we need food. Everyone was staring me and stopped what they were doing and a lady came up to me and said "your poor child, why aren't you picking her up" and looked at me like I was something she'd stood in.
I literally burst into tears, left my shopping mid-aisle and went back to the car. Put kids back in and drove home.
This keeps happening with older toddler and I understand it's her age but it's every single time we leave the house. So much so that I never want to leave the house ever again!

I've had some lovely older ladies offer to carry my shopping in a similar situation.

What an enlightening response! How helpful a person you must be.

Tesco delivery saver is your friend here. You also don’t buy any random extras or £6 magazines for the kids!

Sorry OP. Sounds like today got overwhelming. It’s the hardest job, and isn’t made easier by judgemental a-holes.

my dd would have struggled out of my arms if I’d picked her up mid hissy.

people need to mind their business or actually help.

it gets better 😘

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

Unfortunately these people are everywhere. They always think they know best.

Every single parent in that store has been there. Some will be judgemental and unfortunately they are the ones most vocal. Everyone else knows how you feel as they have been there themselves. Don't stop going out just because of a few vocal old biddies. Most of the people minding their own business will have had so much sympathy with you but didn't want to interfere.

Why do people always feel the need to give their 2 pence when it isn’t needed? Instead of offering to try and console her she feels the need to put you down further? I’d have just stared blankly at her until she got bored. Kids are…to put it nicely..delightful aren’t they?! I’m wondering if you’re able to use a trolley instead? So DD is sat in the seat rather than the buggy? Or was it not supermarket shopping?

What a self-righteous interfering.old cow Sorry it made you feel awful. We have all been there and we are all trying out best.

what a nasty woman!

try to forget about it op. Most of us would be silently sympathising. It gets easier to manage I promise.

If it keeps happening get home delivery. It’s not great for babies/toddlers to be woken from naps. Or at least try and time going shopping/out after a nap so they won’t be cranky.

I’m sure most people weren’t judging you, all children get upset when out sometimes. Bit interfering from the lady but perhaps she was just trying to help?

Weve all been there. Online food shopping either delivered or click and collect is the way forward

My eldest has always and still is a handful, to the point I didnt take him to anyones house exceot family, or anywhere he couldnt roam around like soft play between 2 and 4. Its easier when they are a bit bigfer. It gets better, I just found different ways. The JUST EAT app will have groceries delivered from sainsburys in 20 mins for example. Also look up nursery creches theres one near me where you can drop off for up to two hours ad hoc if they have space and go to the auoermarket nearby. Theres also a cafe near me with a supervised soft play for under 4s where you can have a coffee in relative peace. Find these places, they will give you peace

We are all in the same boat!
Maybe I have been lucky, but my 2yo tantrums are usually met sympathetic looks from other parents. Can't wait for his sister to get started, yeah!

My mum tells the story of when I was 2, we were in Iceland, when it just used to be vast aisles of huge, open, freezers full of frozen food. I was sat in the trolley, she turned her back, and I’d climbed out of the seat and was scarpering across the frozen chickens. They were set out in groups of 4, and as she went one way to get me out, I’d dash the other way. Took her about 10 mins to catch me whilst everyone tutted. 2 year olds are hard work.

Delivery

I've got a 1 and 2 year old as well and really empathise with this. Taking them anywhere is so fucking exhausting and stressful. I feel like there's something wrong with me for finding it so difficult to cope with sometimes. You're not alone

You poor thing, sounds horrific. I remember the annoying people who seemed to have forgotten what it's like to have kids but there are also mum's who remember it well. Some days are asshat heavy though.
Be brave and keep at it!
I was lucky in that I used to give dd a box of raisins and she'd be focused on getting them out for a good 15 mins at least. I used to call them my sanity raisins 😁.

when mine were younger I always did online grocery shopping with home delivery, it’s just so much easier! Then just picked up a couple of bits here & there when needed & not with child. When you have even 1 young child, and especially 2, the best advice I can give is to limit outings to activities & environments that are low stress for you and that are good for the children. Lots of parks, baby/toddler groups, farms, child sessions/areas in museums etc.. It’s just better for you & for the kids. Supermarket/shops just aren’t fun for any of you, you can easily do your grocery shopping online, even when you just need a few bits short notice you can use the quick shop option with most supermarkets/deliveroo/Amazon groceries etc and get deliveries within an hour or so.

The key is to make your life as low stress as possible, take advantage of the many convenience services in our modern society that can make your life easier, it’s so necessary when raising 2 young children :)

This is the type of helpful advice many counsellors, health visitors, family support workers, childrens centre worker, nurses etc give mums/parents. Don’t let the mum guilt get you doing things you don’t need to worry about :)

Probably the lady doing the restaurant post 😜

You poor thing. Your post brings back horrible memories of when my kids were that age. Thankfully I had the luxury of leaving them with dp. I refused to take them to the shop for about 3 years, and still avoid taking them if I can.

I'm so sorry you had the judgey comment. That's horrendous. Why anyone feels the need... I was lucky and remember some random words of encouragement at the worst times. It got me through.

I see others going through this. Sometimes I stare because I remember and I'm trying to muster the courage to give words of support, but just can't put it together.

Please just take some time for yourself tonight and try and go straight to laughing at it.

If if makes you feel better I once took my 2 yo to a village fayre thing where he screamed the entire time then when I turned my back to help dd with something he managed to tip up the buggy with his flailing and screaming and started a domino effect which sent an entire stall of jams smashing to the ground.

The entire place went silent and and everyone glared at me as I picked up child and buggy and began helping the jam lady collect smashed jam jars all while ds continued to scream and scream. I had to give the woman all the cash I had to recompense for the jam meaning dd couldn’t buy the thing she wanted and also started bawling. I dragged them both away screaming with everyone staring after us. I honestly thought about moving to a new area and I stopped going out with my kids for a while as I was so embarrassed!

I started getting my food shop delivered when twins hit two and dtd1 would bite dtd2 in the trolley! I’m a massive fan of our local Asda though as they had a baby event on and I needed 3 stair gates (lived in a town house) so had them piled up on the trolley and was trying to get bread and milk but dtds were screaming. An Asda manager came over with a member of the Asda team and said her colleague was going to shop with me, whatever I needed and don’t worry how long it takes, then help me carry things to the car. I’m guessing I looked pretty stressed but they were so kind. I was very loyal for years after that.

Ds2 used to scream in the supermarket. A woman once came up to me and said "will you shut that kid up" I said I'll fucking shut you up in a minute. She scurried away.
He's 24 this year and a sweetheart. I love telling the stories about him though in front of him of course 🤣
Pps are right it will pass.

Oh pp that's a doozy. Smashed jam is not fun for anyone.

@AutumnLeaves333 that made me so sad to read that. How old are they now?