To not want a funeral when I die?

[blackrosemage]

Just that really. I recently mentioned this to a friend in one of those '3am' conversations about death and he was horrified at the suggestion. I am now wondering if I am a complete weirdo! (Although probably not enough to change my mind on the matter)

I know a lot of people who are just ‘going in a queue’ rather than a proper funeral, purely because they think it’s a waste of money and would rather leave that money to their family etc. With rising costs I guess this will become the new norm at some point. YANBU. When I die my body will be donated to science so I won’t have a funeral either!

I don't want one either. If people want to get together for a wake type event to remember me then fine. But I'd be quite happy for my body to be incinerated with the rest of the clinical waste!

I find that quite unusual but guess it’s personal preference. Wouldn’t you want your loved ones to be able to pay their respects? What would you want to happen to your body?

They're not compulsory. People on here mention opting for direct cremation quite frequently, so I assume it's easy enough to arrange.

It's unusual but if that's what you want, go for it. It is a bit sad that people wouldn't get the opportunity to celebrate your life though imo.

I understand this. I already feel embarrassed at the idea there would be a funeral for me, honestly! I guess funerals are more for family and friends to have closure and celebrate your life, though.

Funerals aren't for the dead they are for the living. It doesn't matter what you want, you'll be dead. If your friends and family want a funeral, don't make them feel bad about it.

I don’t want one and I’ve made it very clear to my family and partner. I know of a few people now who have been cremated via Direct Cremation, and the family held an afternoon in a pub with some nice food and photos on show a couple of weeks later. It was a much nicer way to remember them and share memories.

I personally find coffins and flowers a huge waste of money but each to their own.

You’re not a weirdo.
i said similar after having to arrange funeral and organise post-death admin for a couple of family members in the last couple of years. It’s far too much hassle to inflict on someone you (presumably) love.
put me in a bin bag and leave me for the dustmen 😂

I think the funeral is more for the people you leave behind. I won't care about a funeral, because I won't be there. I expect my family would though.

Funerals are for the living. Some people might want a 'send off' so they can gather together and reflect on your life/their relationship with you?

I don't care either way. It wouldn't be for me. My family can decide whatever they want.

I get it, I had the same thought the last funeral I went to, it’s like torture. Things like family all following the funeral car, just why do we have to put ourselves through it?

They can be good for closure I admit, and there’s a sense of relief after (though maybe that’s because the torture is over). Just a wake will be fine for me.

DF passed away 3 years ago. He was ex forces so we moved a lot. He didn’t really have many friends and we’re a really small family. DM, DSis and I were talking about not being able to face a funeral so we didn’t. We went with Pure cremations. We were told what day it would happen. We spent the day at my parents house, had afternoon tea and remembered him. DM and I have now decided this what we want too. For me it’s more because I’m tight. I don’t want my family spending a fortune on a funeral for people who haven’t bothered with me for years to attend 😂

I very recently attended a celebration of life event for someone who had passed away who had a young family. The person had made clear near the end, that that was what they wanted. It was really nice, an afternoon event with food ,drinks, and lots of chat and memories sharing of the person. It was definitely more informal than a funeral service. I’m sure also it wouldn’t have placed such a financial burden on the young family left behind, which can only be a good thing.

My mum died at the end of March and she wanted a direct cremation. This was done last week without anyone present which felt really odd. I’d have said before last week that was what I wanted but now I’m not at all sure. I think I’d rather a cremation following a service at a woodland burial site so people knew exactly when it was and had accompanied me. It felt odd for her to have been on her own for so long and especially for her last journey to the crematorium.

We’re having a memorial service to celebrate her and remember her. She hadn’t wanted a funeral because she thought it would be too much fuss but those of us left really need an opportunity to say goodbye so I’m sort of going against her wishes. I suspect she’d be a bit fed up with me! I’m having the service at a suitably non-conformist, hippy place in the hope that, if she is looking down, she won’t be too cross!

It is easy.
DF was cremated and then 2 weeks later a lovely man in a full suit brought him back in a lovely box.

From my point of view I wouldn’t want a funeral. I want to be cremated anyway as the thought of being stuck in a coffin freaks me out, and I’d like to be scattered by my immediate family and that’s more important to me than any formal service. I wouldn’t want a funeral where random people I know or family I never see show up just to check I’m really dead! I find funerals quite pointless. People say they get closure from them, but I’ve never felt that when I’ve attended funerals. They just add to the bleakness of it all for me.

I’m having a Direct Cremation.
No service at all.

Go and speak to several local Funeral Directors to appraise yourself of what’s possible, then make your decision.

I visited 4 Funeral Directors all of whom were very friendly and helpful. Answered all my questions.

I’ve paid up front for my disposal. One less thing to lumber DC with.

I know everyone's different etc, but I'd be raging if my loved ones didn't have a big knees up when I died. Where they could all laugh at all the ridiculous things I've said and done etc. funerals are great for that. All the stories come out.

You're not alone, I don't want one either, I told my DS to fly tip my corpse and not to waste any money on a funeral.

If he follows my wishes there will be no service, no vicar, no guests, no wake, just burn me and be done with it. No one will miss me anyways

We are doing alot of funeral talk with DH at the moment, and basically, funerals are really, really poor value for what you pay.

Municipal feel to the crematorium, roll in roll out 30 min service or pay extra for a double shit, rubbish music systems and underwhelming tired premises. I hated that it was all kept to a strict clock, and that basically you had other funeral parties back to back.

What we want is actually a good celebrant and a wake.

I would much rather my kids have a fantastic holiday in my memory, rather than give an undertaker however many thousands it costs for a traditional funeral. Direct cremation all the way. My 90 year old Dad is insisting he has a direct cremation too. I'm pretty grateful I won't have to go through the whole funeral rigmarole after his death.

I also don’t want a funeral. They are so expensive. Go to the pub and have a few drinks to remember instead . I am also not religious so wouldn’t want to suddenly be in a church even as a corpse.

DH is gutted that the PIL have both bought direct cremations. He is a traditionalist and had always looked forward to carrying them into their funeral service.

(As have I, but for different reasons).