DP lied

[No1toldmeaboutit]

Met my DP after work yesterday, he was with a client so he told me to come and meet them and we had a quick drink. On our way home he asked if I had my lunch, I said yes, i had made butties that we had took to work, he then told me he had one bite of his butty and then ate all his crisps and then finished the butty.

Later on in the evening he mentioned having met the client for lunch and that he didn’t have his butty. I called him on this and he started deflecting. I have no issue with him meeting people for lunch but I am so annoyed that he actually made up a complete story about his butty. I hadn’t even brought up lunch, he did.

he’s now telling me I’m being stupid, it’s just over a butty but alls I keep thinking is what else does he lie about. I know it’s just a butty but AIBU to be annoyed?

Did he eat the butty too and didn't want you to know he had been greedy having two lunches? Something I would have done in a past life.

I think this is what I'd call a white lie, ie to avoid hurting your feelings rather than to deceive you.

What a very strange thing to lie about.

YANBU and I'd be very on my guard about other lies he's telling.

He felt bad because he forgot he had taken the butty you made and thought you'd be annoyed he had eaten out instead of eating the sandwich.

Be told a small white lie to spare your feelings.

Has the word 'butty' gone all weird for anyone else?

Yes I have never seen the word butty so many times!

This kind of lying has always annoyed me more than the sort of lying that’s happening because they can’t cope with there being consequences/getting caught.

it was an utterly pointless lie. Like a 5 year old making up random stuff at school with no actual reason to do so. The level of detail “I ate one bite, I ate my crisps, then ate the rest” is weird. Why even bring it up?? It’s like he wanted to tell a lie and see if you noticed or challenged it?

I often wonder if these are just men stuck in a very early developmental phase (experimenting with lies, how you can bend reality, what will people question and what will they just believe, finding the boundaries) or it’s just some really weird low grade power play?

Whatever it is it gives me the ick and destroys trust because it shows a pattern of thinking and behaviour that’s not normal. Lying for lying sake isn’t ever normal.

Yes I was just thinking that.

Butty is a dreadful word in any context let alone when repeated endlessly in a couple of sentences.

So you didn’t ask him but he volunteered and concocted a story about how he ate it?

Does he lie to other people? About being late, or not doing something he should have?

At 25 it would have annoyed me. At 40 it is a red flag and I would be listening and watching carefully - if I recognised it as a habit I’d be done. Can’t be arsed with liars - they either have people pleasing issues or communication issues or selfish issues - I don’t want them in my life. Life’s too short for twats.

what I find bizzare is that I didn’t ask about it and I would never have known anything different if he hadn’t brought it up as I wouldn’t have asked

Shall I change it to sandwich so you can all rest easy 🤣

What else is he lying about? Maybe he secretly likes his tea black? Unacceptable! Leave the bastard! 🙄

🎵i like crisp butties and i cannot lie
no other butties will suffice.. 🎵

What no LTB he's obviously lying about his entire life yet? 😆

I can understand your concern. What if he lied about the crisps too and actually had pickled onion flavour? I'd definitely LTB!

I'm surprised the poll is saying 50 50 at the moment. Unless it was a mega expensive / time consuming butty, or you have a history of flying off the handle at tiny things ('what! You didn't eat the butty I made you, you bastard, I'm never making you lunch again!') then this is a pointless and bizarre lie.

It isn't 'sparing your feelings' if it would never have otherwise come up and if you'd not have been upset anyway!

If my husband had said he didn't eat something I'd cooked for him because he had a client lunch I'd have said 'oh did you go anywhere nice? If you've kept it, it will probably be ok for tomorrow' or something. If he made up a whole backstory to a pointless lie I'd be extremely hurt and find it difficult to trust him.

Ohhhhh Betty

Or Bitty!

That's all I can focus on.

I think he was trying to spare your feelings or not appear a greedy guts.

On the evidence so far, I don't think he has an OW or that you should LTB just yet.

It is a strange thing to lie about, isn’t it? And the fact he brought up lunch first? Perhaps it was playing on his mind for some reason? Guilt that he didn’t eat them after you made them? Thought you might interrogate him about who his lunch partner was if he told you at that time? It’s only a small thing but it would make me wonder ‘’wtf has he lied about THAT for?’’

So who did he have lunch with?

Yes!

Is this a blatant attempt by the Diddymen to keep the jam butty mines open...

YANBU and I'd be very on my guard about other lies he's telling.
Yep, let's immediately jump to a conclusion. the very worst conlusion

The Diddymen beg to differ

Ok these responses have made me laugh!

OP, think back over whether you've ever told someone a minor fib and then decide whether it really matters.