DP lied

[No1toldmeaboutit]

Met my DP after work yesterday, he was with a client so he told me to come and meet them and we had a quick drink. On our way home he asked if I had my lunch, I said yes, i had made butties that we had took to work, he then told me he had one bite of his butty and then ate all his crisps and then finished the butty.

Later on in the evening he mentioned having met the client for lunch and that he didn’t have his butty. I called him on this and he started deflecting. I have no issue with him meeting people for lunch but I am so annoyed that he actually made up a complete story about his butty. I hadn’t even brought up lunch, he did.

he’s now telling me I’m being stupid, it’s just over a butty but alls I keep thinking is what else does he lie about. I know it’s just a butty but AIBU to be annoyed?

Well it is weird. Just been trying to imagine my partner randomly telling me he’d eaten a sandwich, and then an hour or so later telling me he didn’t eat it because he’d gone out and had something else. I’d think he’d lost his marbles. Also I would feel irritated and suspicious, as it would seem that the point he was trying to get across at all costs was that he’d had lunch. (I read a lot of crime fiction). I would start to think he didn’t have lunch at all and was trying not to disclose what he did do - take cocaine? Go to a strip club? Have an enormous knickerbocker glory with extra chocolate sauce?

My ex would have lied like this. He told pointless lies all the time, alongside bigger ones.

He sent me a pic of some sexy knickers he’d bought and I can wear them that night. I’d got out of hospital after surgery that day. Never found out who they were for either.

He did cheat on me twice that was confirmed. I don’t like liars.

Ok so usually it’s him who makes lunch as he tends to leave before me, this one occasion it was me. He was with the same client all afternoon. And for those intrigued it was a tuna butty 🤣

he said he just felt bad that he didn’t eat it, I’ve said no more about butty gate

I think you need to give your head a wobble. If that’s bad enough to annoy you, you’re either hormonal or you’ve got the cushtiest life ever.

Seriously, you’re annoyed enough by this to come on mumsnet and ask for validation?

I think the commenters saying OP is ridiculous for even thinking about this are the type who tell these stupid unnecessary lies and they clearly don't realise how it totally changes the way people see them. I despise liars.

This is the second sandwich-induced argument I've read about on Mumsnet today.

Butty is a horrible word. As is sarnie. Possibly not as bad as sang-wich though.

Couldn't find it in me to get my knickers in a twist about this unless he has form for lying!

Butty-gate!!

He probably brought it up because he completely forgot you'd made sandwiches. Once you reminded him you'd made one he pretended to have eaten it rather than just say "oops I left it in the fridge at work".

Then - having been reminded that he had originally had a sandwich but having forgotten that he'd already white-lied that he ate it - he told the truth that he'd not eaten it.

Now he's just embarrased, because you've basically highlighted a string of mistakes he's made. Just let it go. It's a sandwich.

I don't think it's at all sensible to think "if he once lied about a little thing it means he often lies about big things". This is the same logic as saying "if he once drove 31 mph in a 30 mph zone that probably means he always drives 100 mph on the motorway" or "he brought a pen home from the office, that means he probably is a frequent shoplifter".

Is this post for real? It is hilarious 😂

As someone who grew up in NW England in the 70s and 80s, the word b * * * y was used to mean any two slices of bread with a filling between them. That said, I agree that it is a horrible, common as muck word, and therefore intend to petition MNHQ to get it banned here.

Read while eating a crisp butty 🤩

But it’s not about the butty is it, it’s the fact he’s lied. Infact he brought up the lie for absolutely no reason.

Recreational lying is not a good trait. Have a conversation and move on, but also be aware if it starts reoccurring.

It’s hard to tell from your post but are you the sort of person who flies off the handle easily about little things? If so, your partner might have found it easier to make something up rather than have an exhausting conversation about why they they didn’t eat the butty or who they had lunch with. I was in a relationship like this, which is why I mention it.

It may be that this perspective is not applicable at all. In which case, It’s either that he did it to spare your feelings (which is reasonable. Can we really all claim to never tell a lie of any sort ever? If so, that’s probably even weirder as you might have issues with tact and diplomacy 🤣)

Or, worst case scenario, he has a lying problem and regularly lies about every and anything. Thats possible too but if you’ve never picked up on it before at all, that’s probably unlikely. I think you’d have had some warning signs

Does anyone remember the hammich, where a poster was adamant that it was an actual name for a ham sandwich? 😂