I think I’m being a snob

[DefinitelyNC]

I didn’t get to meet my family abroad for years because of Covid. We then all met on neutral ground at a wedding abroad and my adored nieces had turned into tweens and teens and I was surprised to see them all with strong make up, very long fake nails and lashes, cutout dresses, very short shorts with sparkly parts of their underwear pulled up and on show - both bra and knickers. I wasn’t sure how and why my sisters allowed all this, especially for the ones who were only 11/12. They also turned up at the wedding like this, in their inappropriate (Shein, apparently) tight and cutout dresses and flip-flops.

We’ve since invited one my sisters over to London to celebrate our big wedding anniversary (we are hugely lucky to live in a very nice area) and said we’ll take them out to some lovely restaurants and shows and suggested they bring appropriate clothes - just in case they’d bring only comfortable wear to do the usual tourist stuff.

The evening of the first dinner arrived, we dressed up and I had a near heart attack when her 12 year old was ready to go in a bright pink matching tracksuit with the word ‘Juicy’ written across her bottom in sparkly letters. Also wedge trainers that didn’t even match. My sister wore an oversized old jumper and decided to not style or even brush her hair and didn’t put any face cream on, let alone a little makeup. Her husband is a very successful doctor, they have a large home with a pool and a second large holiday home - it’s not about not having the resources. She used to work in fashion and always had a go at me when I was growing up if anything I wore wasn’t perfectly matched. I found myself so deeply ashamed to go to our regular really nice restaurant. For subsequent dinners we had head to toe sequins with trainers and some other interesting choices.

Her Italian husband (who is an incredible guy - kind, funny and polite) has always had an imaculate sense of style and they’ve been together for over 20 years.

I feel terrible, she asked about coming back later in the year for my 40th birthday, if they will then I would only be able to relax if we have a BBQ in our garden or something.

Punch away! 😭

This is not real , no body could be this obsessed with their families 'style'.

First of all, you shouldn't blink at what a teenager wears, ever. It's their first chance in life to establish their identity.

And who gives a flying fig what your sister wears or looks like? Is she comfy? Great!

So yes, total snob (and I'm no stranger to Michelin starred restaurants and nice places).

Ok

I’m here!

At least you're owning your judgemental feelings!

I'm not sure whether this is snobbery exactly. I'd personally be more concerned that the outfits weren't age appropriate, these are 11/12 year old and I wouldn't allow my kids to wear tight provocative clothing with their underwear showing. That said, you have to take into account what the fashions are nowadays, kids will always want to wear what others are wearing including what they see on tv and what celebrities are wearing which has been the case for donkeys years. I think the most important thing to consider is that they are not YOUR children and that as long as they're happy and well cared for, the rest of it is not your concern.

Nothing wrong with the tracksuit on a kid, it's normal fashion on a little girl (not my taste either)

Adults don't have to wear make up

If be very surprised if anyone noticed any of this in London since I also live there and even in the fanciest places some people dress very casually

This is funny. Now I wouldn't be worried about what my niece wears, teens are teens. And to suggest someone didn't even put face cream on!

I don't think you should be concerned about what others are wearing, concentrate on yourself. Life is too short!

and didn’t put any face cream on,

How do you know she didn't?

Sparkly knickers and cut out dresses for 11 and 12 year olds is not appropriate on any planet.

Not using face cream and make-up is an entirely different thing.

Teenagers have always pushed the boundaries with what is ‘cool’ to them. I’d just ignore that, unless very revealing maybe.

As for the adults… in my experience wealthy people don’t feel the need to provide anything via their clothes so can not make the effort and it be just meaningless to them. See Mark Zuckerberg.

... i suspect this never happened

The cutout dresses and underwear on show is very inappropriate for their age, YANBU to judge the parents for this.

YABU to judge your sister for not wearing face cream or make up.

As much as I hate tracksuits (juicy ones are awful) I’d never tell them and this would never think I’d have to change my plans over this.

Most of London is super casual now, I doubt anyone cared.
Teens push boundaries, it's happened for donkey's years ... perhaps your sister is picking her battles.

I too wondered how you knew she hadn't put on any face cream.

I’m worried now, I forgot to put face cream on for work🙀

No face cream you say.... "faints"

....i smell fakery

I too smell fakery tan

didn’t put any face cream on, let alone a little makeup

How do you know she didn't have face cream on?

Plenty of women don't wear make up.

Been years since I wore makeup, face cream hardly use that either.

This must be a joke. Does Hyacinth Bucket even know how to access the internet, let alone start a Mumsnet account?!!!

Except that nobody has worn Juicy since approximately 2005. Not even tweens.

@CrappyBarbara its back in! My very cool 20 year old is wearing it, but not top to toe a la Paris Hilton 2004