I think I’m being a snob

[DefinitelyNC]

I didn’t get to meet my family abroad for years because of Covid. We then all met on neutral ground at a wedding abroad and my adored nieces had turned into tweens and teens and I was surprised to see them all with strong make up, very long fake nails and lashes, cutout dresses, very short shorts with sparkly parts of their underwear pulled up and on show - both bra and knickers. I wasn’t sure how and why my sisters allowed all this, especially for the ones who were only 11/12. They also turned up at the wedding like this, in their inappropriate (Shein, apparently) tight and cutout dresses and flip-flops.

We’ve since invited one my sisters over to London to celebrate our big wedding anniversary (we are hugely lucky to live in a very nice area) and said we’ll take them out to some lovely restaurants and shows and suggested they bring appropriate clothes - just in case they’d bring only comfortable wear to do the usual tourist stuff.

The evening of the first dinner arrived, we dressed up and I had a near heart attack when her 12 year old was ready to go in a bright pink matching tracksuit with the word ‘Juicy’ written across her bottom in sparkly letters. Also wedge trainers that didn’t even match. My sister wore an oversized old jumper and decided to not style or even brush her hair and didn’t put any face cream on, let alone a little makeup. Her husband is a very successful doctor, they have a large home with a pool and a second large holiday home - it’s not about not having the resources. She used to work in fashion and always had a go at me when I was growing up if anything I wore wasn’t perfectly matched. I found myself so deeply ashamed to go to our regular really nice restaurant. For subsequent dinners we had head to toe sequins with trainers and some other interesting choices.

Her Italian husband (who is an incredible guy - kind, funny and polite) has always had an imaculate sense of style and they’ve been together for over 20 years.

I feel terrible, she asked about coming back later in the year for my 40th birthday, if they will then I would only be able to relax if we have a BBQ in our garden or something.

Punch away! 😭

I would feel exactly the way you do, OP. I had a friend staying a couple of years ago and as a treat I took her to a Michelin-starred restaurant, the fanciest one I have ever been to myself. I told her beforehand it was smart and she should wear smart clothes. She wore chinos and a mesh t-shirt. Sometimes you're best just booking Pizza Express and saving yourself the money and hassle.

I dont wear make-up at all.
And right now i have red pjs with penguins on them and a large white t-shirt that says enjoy looking.
Ive been in them all day I went to the shop in them aswell.
My hair in a messy bun.
I know im a tramp.
And i take no notice of how other people or teens dress.
Everyone to there own.

Yes but did you use face cream today?

This reminds me of my mother "You're not going out with me looking like that!"
Always worked.

Nope not today.

A 12 year old in that sort of tracksuit is downright chavvy - no apologies for using that word - and if that makes me a snob, so be it.

If she were 15 or 16 it’d be a bit different, but it’d still make me cringe.

I've never worn makeup and nobody has ever judged me for it.

i dont wear makeup anymore an i dont use face cream but unerwear showing on 11 year olds is grim

You'd be hard pressed to wear a scandalous outfit in London. People wear all kinds. Teens wearing tight/jogging outfits with sparkly stuff showing is not going to raise an eyebrow there, I bet it didn't. My dds go out in hair-raising outfits but that's the look, either baggy and oversized or skin tight with everything showing or best, both in the same outfit.

Your sister is a different issue, she sounds down. But it's not embarrassing going out with someone who doesn't wear moisturizer.

Plus a lot of home clothes look like PJs these days, and we have people round us who take the kids out in the evenings in onesies, shop in their dressing gown. The only thing I object to is men with bare tops in summer but that's usually because they smell horrible and the aisles of our local shop aren't large enough to squeeze past sweaty unclothed men.

'near had a heart attack' is a very (working class' Norn Irish phrase. I think this is fake

He he.. Juicy Couture...
And I'm a 45 yo health professional...
🥴🙄

Out of interest, OP, how can you know whether or not someone’s used face cream?

I would be unhappy about the young girl wearing make up and inappropriate clothes, and I'd judge parents who allowed it.

Not so bothered about the other style crimes.

Fake nails, makeup, cut out dresses, tiny clothes etc on 11/12 yr olds. I'd be mortified going into any restaurant with my nieces dressed like this at any age never mind as young children. YANBU

They’re wearing it again (unfortunately)…😂

Are snobby people ever happy?

Earther your post made me smile, but did you wear your slippers to the shop and your dressing gown? Fair play to you not giving a feck what anyone thinks.

This dress is actually gorgeous 😍

I'd be interested how a snobby person would treat a twelve year old if they were dressed unfavourably . I would judge the snobby person on that .

You are wrong. They are back in fashion. Y2K style

Glad I read this thread because literally last week I saw a teenager in a JUICY across the bum tracksuit and did a real double take. Didn't realise it was a trend!

edited ......... figured it out was being dim!!

Does not sound remotely true

Oh OP, how I wish I could upload a picture of how I dress for you to clutch your pearls over

I think it means a dress with cut-put bits where you can see through to the body beneath.