I think I’m being a snob

[DefinitelyNC]

I didn’t get to meet my family abroad for years because of Covid. We then all met on neutral ground at a wedding abroad and my adored nieces had turned into tweens and teens and I was surprised to see them all with strong make up, very long fake nails and lashes, cutout dresses, very short shorts with sparkly parts of their underwear pulled up and on show - both bra and knickers. I wasn’t sure how and why my sisters allowed all this, especially for the ones who were only 11/12. They also turned up at the wedding like this, in their inappropriate (Shein, apparently) tight and cutout dresses and flip-flops.

We’ve since invited one my sisters over to London to celebrate our big wedding anniversary (we are hugely lucky to live in a very nice area) and said we’ll take them out to some lovely restaurants and shows and suggested they bring appropriate clothes - just in case they’d bring only comfortable wear to do the usual tourist stuff.

The evening of the first dinner arrived, we dressed up and I had a near heart attack when her 12 year old was ready to go in a bright pink matching tracksuit with the word ‘Juicy’ written across her bottom in sparkly letters. Also wedge trainers that didn’t even match. My sister wore an oversized old jumper and decided to not style or even brush her hair and didn’t put any face cream on, let alone a little makeup. Her husband is a very successful doctor, they have a large home with a pool and a second large holiday home - it’s not about not having the resources. She used to work in fashion and always had a go at me when I was growing up if anything I wore wasn’t perfectly matched. I found myself so deeply ashamed to go to our regular really nice restaurant. For subsequent dinners we had head to toe sequins with trainers and some other interesting choices.

Her Italian husband (who is an incredible guy - kind, funny and polite) has always had an imaculate sense of style and they’ve been together for over 20 years.

I feel terrible, she asked about coming back later in the year for my 40th birthday, if they will then I would only be able to relax if we have a BBQ in our garden or something.

Punch away! 😭

Or suggesting to a depressed woman to put a bit of make up on to cheer herself up.

I knew someone like this, very aspirational middle class, always worried what people were wearing, trying really hard to fit in. I’m ashamed to say we did think of her as a bit of a joke. I think your priorities are in the wrong place at the moment, you think your sister seems down, yet rather than try and talk to her and find out the reason you’re making comments online about her personal appearance and her parenting skills.

Ditch the ‘fitting in’ and aspirational hang ups and just have a chat with your sister about how she’s feeling.

Maybe the sister isn’t feeling low at all maybe she’s just at a point in her life where she feels comfortable in her own skin and doesn’t feel the need to put a full face of makeup on to go out.

I did think she was feeling a bit down. She put on some weight and has started having a more negative outlook on life. I was hoping that making an effort and putting the tiniest bit of make up on would cheer her up and improve her self esteem. I didn’t mean to put her down

how could you not mean to out her down. You started a thread slagging her off, called your own niece vicky pollard, and told millions of people how you were embarassed to be seen with your own family.

Completely fake post obviously!

I don't believe this is true because of the tracksuit with juicy across the bum. That's very noughties, not what a 12 year old would wear nowadays.

They sound chavvy and classless .

There you go op. You’ve now got people hurling abuse at them.

slow hand clap/

I wouldn't call you a snob. I'd say shallow. Just have fun with your family, why worry about what they're wearing. If they're not champagne and oyster types then why take them to those places?

You sound ugly on the inside which is much much worse. I hope she refuses to visit for your 40th!

How inadequate are you that your answer to your sister feeling down was to put some makeup on . Go back to fifty years ago .

It is back in fashion again believe it or not, everything comes back around as they say! I also saw someone with a Paul’s Boutique handbag the other day, made me feel about a million years old!

And you and OP sound stuck up and judgemental....

The children will grow up..... you and OP on the other hand? 🤷‍♀️

Yes, we are.

A whole lot better.

@DefinitelyNC why should any woman feel the need to wear makeup? If your face needs it, fine!

But others don't need it want even the tiniest bit of make up!

Class is not caring what other people wear.

Same

To add, I could probably do with a bit of make-up, and moisturiser, but I can't be arsed.

How do you know she has a sense of style, she never mentions what she was wearing 🤔 She could have the fashion sense of Miss Marple for all you know.

Have you recently acquired money or something, as you seem to need to impress strangers? That's such new money behaviour darling.

If somewhere doesn't want to let me in because of how I'm dressed I'll go elsewhere. Never had a problem before (only the Ritz who are nice enough to let men borrow a tie bless them).

And stop crushing on your BIL, it's weird.

What do you mean by over sexualising children? Do you mean maybe men that can't control themselves 🙄

women and girls (and anyone) can wear what they want on what is just a body. The only reason people complain is funnily enough because of the poor menz. Sick of it. No one tells boys not
to wear whatever because they are being sexualised. Bodies are bodies.

People haven’t been wearing Juicy tracksuits for near on 20 years have they?

You sound really awful and judgemental. Your poor family.

Hmmm assuming this is real I wonder how many of the people on here berating the OP would genuinely not bat an eyelid at an 11 year old girl in a tight dress (from Shein, there isn't much material, they are aimed at young adults going clubbing!) showing her sparkly underwear?
I am not ashamed to say there is zero chance my daughter would be leaving the house dressed like that.
The sister is a different issue, yes London is casual however there is a big difference between casual and completely given up scruffy!!
Most people go out in 'expensive casual ' and it is a very carefully curated look, they are not just throwing on a manky old jumper to go to a nice restaurant.
Obviously if the sister is depressed then that is the main issue that needs to be addressed however I can completely understand why the OP would be embarrassed to be seen with them all🤷‍♀️

I can't take this seriously. What style conscious women refers to 'strong' make up, uses the word 'face cream' to describe... moisturiser? foundation..?and name checks shein so confidently while retaining an air of otherworldly shock at what teen girls wear?