I think I’m being a snob

[DefinitelyNC]

I didn’t get to meet my family abroad for years because of Covid. We then all met on neutral ground at a wedding abroad and my adored nieces had turned into tweens and teens and I was surprised to see them all with strong make up, very long fake nails and lashes, cutout dresses, very short shorts with sparkly parts of their underwear pulled up and on show - both bra and knickers. I wasn’t sure how and why my sisters allowed all this, especially for the ones who were only 11/12. They also turned up at the wedding like this, in their inappropriate (Shein, apparently) tight and cutout dresses and flip-flops.

We’ve since invited one my sisters over to London to celebrate our big wedding anniversary (we are hugely lucky to live in a very nice area) and said we’ll take them out to some lovely restaurants and shows and suggested they bring appropriate clothes - just in case they’d bring only comfortable wear to do the usual tourist stuff.

The evening of the first dinner arrived, we dressed up and I had a near heart attack when her 12 year old was ready to go in a bright pink matching tracksuit with the word ‘Juicy’ written across her bottom in sparkly letters. Also wedge trainers that didn’t even match. My sister wore an oversized old jumper and decided to not style or even brush her hair and didn’t put any face cream on, let alone a little makeup. Her husband is a very successful doctor, they have a large home with a pool and a second large holiday home - it’s not about not having the resources. She used to work in fashion and always had a go at me when I was growing up if anything I wore wasn’t perfectly matched. I found myself so deeply ashamed to go to our regular really nice restaurant. For subsequent dinners we had head to toe sequins with trainers and some other interesting choices.

Her Italian husband (who is an incredible guy - kind, funny and polite) has always had an imaculate sense of style and they’ve been together for over 20 years.

I feel terrible, she asked about coming back later in the year for my 40th birthday, if they will then I would only be able to relax if we have a BBQ in our garden or something.

Punch away! 😭

I mean some of them aren’t so out there!

So judgy. Why does it matter if your sister put face cream on or make up?????

Lol champagne and oysters… I agree with other posters now that this didn’t happen

Her sister didn't even brush her hair though!!!
Cow 😂
sarcasm disclaimer
As for the rest - have you even met a teenager?!
As you've just described most teenage girls going, round here anyway 😁

Nice. We need to see now, emerging evidence you're not a controlling loon with severe bucket tendancies?!

Trouble is with teens, they will wear whatever they strongly believe to be the fashion. Even if it is only in their head. The more you as a parent try to talk them out of it, the more insistent they will become that they HAVE to wear it. I once let DD walk into town with steampunk goggles on her head and a purple wig. She looked pretty amazing but we got a lot of (thankfully friendly) comments. I realised after the first I was weirdly proud she had stuck to her guns. Sometimes as a parent you just have to let them do it (and take pictures for their future partners/wedding/as blackmail).

Yes, in all honesty I would have felt a bit awkward, but really you cannot control other people's fashion sense. It's a phase. Just don't invite them to places you feel need a formal dresscode.

Haven’t rtft but I’m stuck on the face cream.

”she didn’t even put on any face cream to leave the house”

Is this a thing?

No face cream and not even the tiniest bit of make up? faints.

Why are you concerned about anybody’s use of face cream?!

It’s popular again.

A tracksuit with Juicy written across their arse?!

On an 12 year old?

So glad my dgd don't follow 'fashion'!

100% this.

As I said earlier my DD probably thinks I look a peasant farmer from the 1800s in my pinafores and clogs and that's fine because, like me, she dresses in things she likes and because I'm in my 50s and she's in her teens our fashion sense is very different.

Next time just taken them to Pizza Express or somewhere similar. Sounds like you'd all feel more comfortable.

There's something about your sister not 'bothering' to make an effort for you -to brush her hair and care how her DDs are in casuals.

I think it's extreme to only want to stay in because of how they dress but I also find it annoying when friends turn up for a night out saying they've not washed their hair and are wearing casual stuff they usually wouldn't for other people.

I cannot honestly imagine conceiving of my friends’ self-presentation on a night out as some kind of reflection on how much they value me.

I still don't understand why OP is focusing on her sister's lack of makeup and not the fact that she never leaves the house. That is the red flag.

I only just read that post! OP, why aren’t you more concerned about your sister’s increasing reclusivity than her disgracing you by going out to dinner in an old jumper and no makeup? What’s wrong with you?

didn’t put any face cream on,

I don't anyone under the age of 80 who calls it face cream!

Or should I say any female under the age of 80!

Can we have a photo of your outfit ?

Exactly this,

Oh, believe me, they could!!

I fail to understand how people happily go into shops in their Jim-jams! Why would you do that? This is nothing to do with being snobby, or wanting to be classy, it just seems weird on so many levels.
If this what ‘being modern’ entails, I think I’ll stay old!

Wearing pyjamas out of the house( unless you’re a a child being transferred home on a late night) is gross. If that makes me a snob, I don’t care!