To tell my husbands ex to **** off?!

[jdh877]

Hi all,

Cut a long story short. Been with husband 8 years, married for 3. Already have a child together. He has 2 boys from previous relationship. Ex is a horrible piece of work, alcoholic, narcissist, threatened me since day dot. We've always tried to keep things nice for the boys but things took a turn last year when services got involved as she was drinking again. Went from having the kids 80:20, to when social services said she was fit to parent again, she stopped my husband seeing them due to him 'taking them away from her'. She's only allowed him sporadic contact when it suits her. Just to clarify, they were removed as she was blind drunk choking on her vomit when the children came down for breakfast one morning. Social services have said she's fit to parent and need to make application to court. Can't afford a solicitor, or any of the fees due to all our savings being used for therapy for the boys and bridging the gap financially whilst they've been with us majority of the time. CMS took too long to investigate our claims so all this time my husband was still having to pay her maintenance, was warned if he didn't they would deduct from
Wages. Overall, horrible, horrible woman. Horrible horrible situation. Poor kids.

Found out we're unexpectedly pregnant, despite all the shit show of the past year or so, we're delighted. We've experienced loss and infertility so this baby is super special to us.

Obviously we've told the boys, my husband FaceTimes them regularly (when she allows). They were super excited. But obviously now their mum knows...

So tonight I've had an unknown caller calling me a fat whore down the phone (lovely) slurring words obviously.

My husband has had an unknown call telling him that's he's going to pretend he has done unthinkable things to her, that she's going to make sure he ends up in jail, that if that doesn't work she's going to harm me and our children...

I'm genuinely fucking done... I just want to tell her to FUCK OFF. but she's genuinely unhinged and I know it'll turn into something and I haven't got it in me. What the fuck do I do. It was the same with my last baby. She ruined my pregnancy and I just majorly fucking cba. She is the worst person I've ever met. And she's never going away. It's never going to stop.

Police not interested, said she's probably just upset from the news and not counted as harassment as didn't report all past instances. Said it's more of a civil issue but to ring if she turns up to the house. Feel like I'm being failed by everyone. Husband doesn't know what to do, he does everything right and she still comes back with something else.

@Nanaof1

Are you the OP? 🫤

AAawwww!!! You're embarrassed for all the cruel, nasty and disgusting ASSumptions you made.

I'm embarrassed for you. 😎😆

The "shitshow" isn't at the OP and her DH's home.

Maybe SS can get off their lazy azzes, do what needs to be done and do the right thing, for once. Maybe the ex can realize she is an abusive drunk and get herself into rehab.

BIG difference between coming up with thousands for a lawyer and supporting a child. If SS did their job, a lawyer would not be needed for a long drawn out fight.
GMAFB!

@Nanaof1

You seem incredibly passionate for someone with zero personal interest.
And as for the 'Nanaof1' username - don't we all NC at some point? Many comment on their own threads.
Whether your the OP or not - she fucked up too. Why would she have changed the children's ages in the original post to make it seem as though they had definitely had an affair then backtrack ... all abit strange to me.

Sadly, it'll be the children that suffer more regardless of the adults who fuck up epically.

Are you actually holding social services at a higher level of responsibility for these children than their own fucking father?! This ‘heartbroken’ useless excuse for a parent has allowed his children to live in an abusive home and for 8 long years has done fuck all in terms of fighting for full custody. He could have kept them last time and forced her to take him to court to get them back. Absolutely unforgivable, and I wouldn’t be surprised if his kids want nothing to do with him when they’re older.

I'd say the ones who arent the sharpest tools are the ones who would swallow the new ages of the children. Pretty obvious that OP has changed the ages due to letting slip that she was the OW and the subsequent backlash.

Nope. Stand by them. They don’t apply to OP obviously because she fudged the ages badly. But my thoughts on homeworkers still apply.

If the older child is now 12, he can choose which parent he wants to live with, surely?

Why would anyone be embarrassed for making assumptions if a poster says they've been with their partner for 8 years and his kids he had with his ex are 7 and 10.😂

There's nothing to be embarrassed about 😂Our brains are literally designed to make assumptions based on the information given.

Why do you keep emphasizing the ASS in assumptions also? 😂weird

Police are fobbing you off. You can report this. Report every incident from now.

@jdh877 I haven’t read the whole thread so apologies if this has already been said.

I’m in a similar situation with my partner’s vile and dangerous ex. Recently been through the family court (and won). If you want to message me then please do.

My advice to you is simple - APPLY TO COURT. This won’t resolve itself any other way. If you self rep then it only costs a few hundred quid, it’s the legal professionals that bump the cost up. Most solicitors do a free half hour so I recommend your partner uses that.

The family court remains mother-biased but the tide is turning. Dad has several things on his side here:

Her well documented alcoholism
Interventions from services
Dad having kids full time due to mother’s incompetence.
Her withholding kids from dad for no apparent reason.

The most important thing is the safety and welfare of the kids and they are in danger when in the care of their mother. A good cafcass officer will see this.

I’m surprised the police have not taken her threats of harm more seriously. My partner was told he couldn’t prosecute for harassment as she hadn’t made a threat to his life. I would pursue that a bit harder with the police. If she threatens you again then continue to report her.

Meantime, record EVERYTHING. Phone calls, emails, texts, save everything even if it doesn’t seem important. It will all be needed.