Aibu to ask DH to come home immediately from business trip?

[Sosomuchpain]

So I have an unknown bowel condition, waiting for exploratory surgery to find cause.

my symptoms are basically pain huge swelling, fatigue and so much mucous (sorry tmi)

ive had every test in the book all fine. Except when I’ve had extreme pain to the Point of vomiting I’ve had bloods that have shown high inflammation markers, and random stool tests that have shown high calprotectin.

hubs is working away, I’ve got the dcs who are preschool age and toddler, im working but I’m having a massive flare up and I’ve been sick from the pain. I can’t take any codeine due to an allergy and the usuals don’t touch the sides. Genuinely concerned I can’t manage the kids. I can’t really stand up straight, my mind is a mess (due to being in pain), can’t take the slightest touch on my tummy.

no family or friends that can/ will help. It’s not unreasonable to ask him to come home is it?

I would certainly call my husband in those circumstances and see what he could do .
i had high calprotectin and bowel inflammation markers earlier this year , diagnosed with C Diff infection sorted by antibiotics? Although I’m sure your GP would’ve noticed that

How are you financially? If he can't come home can he throw money at he situation.... emergency temporary nanny, cleaner etc?

Thats actually really rude. Ive been in hospital with a debilitating condition very very unwell, and at times could still use a phone to message.

I really would suggest you go back to your GP and ask for more tests urgently! You shouldn't be vomiting with IBS.

Having suffered from similar in the past, you are being sensible to ask him to come back. There's no way I could have safely looked after young children in that state.

As pp mentioned, look for a babysitter or two that you can call on in future.

I am very thankful I don't get this anymore it was awful, you have huge sympathy from me.

He’s back tomorrow.

theres no direct flights left today. I’ve checked
(He’s still in the UK just very north and flying is cheaper than train)
guess I’m powering through

I think your title has made it sound like a bigger deal than it is. You just need to ask him to come home from work, that's all. The title makes it sound like he's away from home for an extended period.

Cross posts - I thought 'just an office day' meant he was somewhere reasonably local with dinner out then home later. Sorry!

Something the consultant said is if I have adhesions from years of a grumbling appendix? That can cause the severe vomiting pain and the adhesions could cause the prolonged symtoms

Well he took a flight? It felt trip adjacent to me, plus I feel utterly incoherent now anyway lol

My friend had adhesions after bowel surgery and subsequent pregnancies. She suffered a huge amount of pain. Yours sounds similar. I hope you feel some relief soon.

If suspected appendix you need a&E. Get a taxi, is there anyone who can watch them while you go? If not th n bring them because the alternative is potentially an unresponsive adult with the two little ones.

Could I ask you more on this?

were her pregnancies ‘normal’ and vaginal delivery?

were they spotted In a scan because I’ve had an ultrasound and looked ok, but the mri I had was just for small bowel

Literally no one, I can’t cope with them at an and e for 6 hrs. The pain isn’t at those levels thank god! Or I’d have to just tell the school and maybe arrange temporary foster care

I'm sorry I am not sure of the finer details.. She had normal full term pregnancies and vaginal deliveries. I think her consultant considered her foolish to have five pregnancies as she began with the pain after the second. She had numerous investigative procedures and hospitalisation.

Totally unfair comment

I’ve never had an surgery before so I’m not sure if it’s that but god at this point I’d welcome any diagnosis

I feel you. I woke up one morning in 2010, unable to move. Took about six or seven months of every test under the sun before a consultant told me "We dont know what it is, so its IBS." (this is the actual quote).
It sounds counter intuitive, but I do hope they find something wrong with you, if it is being caused by something dietary of course.

Its easier to cut out one particular thing, rather than having something you eat regularly decide to frick with you on a particular meal.

Is there a neighbour or another nursery mum you could call? Most people would be happy to help you out. A local teenager who could help you with tea and bedtime?

alas I wish, no one i know well enough.

the 2 I do just had new babies so can’t but I’m sure it will be ok, I’ll be fine, it just sucks

Your symptoms sound a lot like diverticulitis, but I'm guessing you've already had a colonoscopy that ruled that out?

I had bouts of diverticulitis with extreme pain. When having a sigmoidoscopy the consultant discovered adhesions of bowel to body wall. He waggled the camera about vigorously ( as I screamed) but he broke the adhesions and the frequent pain I had had since my first pregnancy stopped. I still get diverticulitis occasionally but pain nowhere near as extreme.

Yup and intestinal biopsies taken and all normal

Have an unmumsnetty hug.
It doesn't sound as if he can realistically get back earlier even if you ask, regardless of cost. Ask him to not drink to excess tonight, so that he can take over on his return, stop your own work for today and rest until kids have to come home. Who is looking after them now - can they have them overnight as an emergency? Some childminders will do this. Or can one of the nursery staff come and stay and be paid a generous rate for a last minute overnight babysitting gig?

Seriously? WTF
Why would you be so nasty.
I despair at people sometimes i really do.
Oh you were well enough to pick up the phone and call an ambulance so really you must be ok...
get a grip.
OP, call your DH, you need him home.

Yes, you should absolutely push this further.