To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

[Weallknowfrogsgo]

White non markedly Muslim or other wise woman and a Muslim man together, clearly in a relationship? What do you think?

as this is an anonymous forum, please do be honest.

after that thread about the woman marrying and arab, it strikes me that a lot of people have some quite strong opinions on this, and the convert to Islam threads on here also have been quite telling

disclaimer this is me, despite living in a very multicultural place, we do get looks here and there and boundless questions on our relationship that tbh aren’t very appropriate to ask a stranger whenever we meet new people. And if we go someplace less diverse the looks are more apparent.

No, it’s not about a stereotype because there’s Over a billion Muslims and we’re all different, of course, I myself am an example of that.

but there are visual identifiers of religion, and the headscarf is a prominent one, it’s actually one of the points of it ‘ to be recognised as one of the believing women’ (that’s what it says in the Quran). Likewise with a beard and trimmed moustache. Do all Muslims have or west these things, of course not. But they are visual signifiers of one’s faith, like a cross would be for a Christian and a turban might be for a Sikh man, and the bangle (sorry I can’t remember the name). That’s what I’m referring to

This was my first question as well. Sometimes you can tell if a woman is Muslim but I don't have any experience with just looking at a man and guessing that he's Muslim. Maybe the way he's dressed?

Also why a white woman in a Muslim man? Would a black woman in a Muslim man not cause any consternation among people that are bothered by that sort of thing?

Regardless I have literally no thought in my head about it. I would notice if one or both of them was particularly attractive. Or if they had an interesting hairstyle or they were wearing clothing that I liked but a couple being together no it wouldn't cross my mind to have any thought about it.

I was thinking I'd congratulate myself on being able to tell someone's religion by just looking at them.

@Weallknowfrogsgo We can recognise a Muslim woman from her headscarf but you’re asking about Muslim men - whom are near impossible to identify by appearance. Your question seems to be “what do you think of white women with brown men” and have nothing to do with religion.

Well obviously Muslim men don't wear a scarf and plenty of non muslim men have a beard and moustache. I know someone who wears a Star of David necklace but she isn't Jewish, she just likes it. Apparently some Shia Muslims wear a turban, Tuaregs wear a type of turban which combines a veil, they are generally Muslim. Afghan men often wear a turban. I'm sure there are others. Some Christians wear a cross, many don't and some prefer a crucifix. Probably some non Christians wear a cross as a piece of jewellery they like.

You seem to rely on stereotypes.

I do disagree that Muslim men are impossible to recognise by appearance but perhaps that’s due to my marriage. But you could visually recognise my husband as a Pakistani man. I meant men who are visibly recognisable as Muslim, so beard and trimmed moustache, prayer cap, thobe or salwar kameez for instance.

my comment relate to religion in light of what I’ve read in here lately

Nothing in particular, if I even noticed. How do you tell a man is Muslim just by looking? He's unlikely to look any different from any other bloke.

So how does a Pakistani man look different to a Pakistani Christian?

My DH is Indian. He is not Muslim, but many Indians are. Unless there are clear cultural markers around dress etc, I can't possibly tell the difference from appearance alone between Indian men who happen to be Muslim and Indian men who are Hindu/Sikh/something else.

Come to that, it's often very hard to tell from appearance alone whether people are Indian or Pakistani. Hardly surprising given that they often share the same ethnic routes. When we lived overseas, we found that Pakistani people often assumed that my Punjabi DH was Pakistani until he told them otherwise. So if they can't tell the difference themselves, I struggle to see how you can.

This, to a degree. If I recognised a man as Muslim by his dress, I might be inclined to think that he observes his religion seriously and that he would therefore expect his wife to do also. Therefore, I might be surprised by her non-Muslim dress. However, I have little knowledge of 'Muslim appearance' and plenty other stuff to occupy my brain so I really wouldn't spend long thinking about it. I admire many people who dress differently to myself.

I commented on the thread you reference. My issue wasn’t his religion but the fact that her H to be was lying to his family for an easier life. Would you be so willing to marry a man who ‘goes along’ with stuff just because he won’t say no to his parents? The likelihood is this behaviour is probably a pattern and not an exception.

A non Muslim woman being in a relationship with a Muslim man, I don’t care. Being in a relationship (like the one the OP is in the other thread) with someone who I don’t believe is being honest with himself, let alone with his family and wife to be, I would judge.

A muslim man from Turkey, or Bosnia, or Malaysia, or Xinjiang isn't going to look anything like that. They aren't going to be wearing those clothes, even if they are dressed traditionally, and they will likely be clean shaven.

It seems that you are confusing national and ethnic origins and traditions with religion.

beard And shaved moustache

Then don’t read it.

I would register any significant age disparity.

Is this how you understand haram? I got it from Wikipedia - it’s considered haram for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. This is due to the idea that the man is the head of the household, the one who supports the family, and the man is considered responsible for his wife.

If this is true then I would say stay away from any man or woman who actually believes this stuff. There is obviously a difference between people who really believe and people who are born into a religion but later realise its teachings are outdated and misogynistic (much like I did with Catholicism, my disdain for organised religion is not limited to Islam).

So I would date a Muslim (insert other religion as appropriate) who was so because his parents were, but not if he were practising.

I know loads of Muslim men who don't have beards!

Yes, beards are the norm amongst a certain section of very conservative Muslims, but there are many, many Muslim men who don't look like this. Surely you realise this?!

Of course, I’m Muslim myself, my question was on those who are visibly marked as Muslim. Painting with a broad and purposeful broad brush

those posts I’ve seen on here (not this thread) are steeped in judgment so I’m surprised the replies here as the overall tone on MN is very very different

Think the Tates are also muslim, so can add wearing overly tight, ridiculously expensive suits whilst brandishing cigars to the list

Why does your husband dress in a visibly Muslim way, but you do not? Dos this mean you have different levels of observance?

Normally it’s the other way round, a Muslim woman is more instantly recognisable due to the headscarf than a Muslim man.

OK. I misunderstood your point then, as you seemed to be implying that it was possible to tell if someone was Muslim simply by looking at them. What you actually seem to be saying is that some Muslim men are recogniseable as such because of certain cultural markers. I don't suppose that many people would disagree with this.

And yes, there is a lot of islamophobia on MN, as well as a lot of racism and a lot of very ethnocentric advice. That's nothing new, unfortunately, but you won't find many people openly acknowledging that they are prejudiced against mixed relationships - the ones who are probably just ignore threads like this. MN is not one unified voice!

I don't know if people are being sincere but maybe the OP didn't mean just getting a fleeting glance of a random brown bloke and a white woman.

What do you think when you KNOW a Muslim man is going out with a western, not obviously Muslim, woman as per say, East is East.

They're your neighbour, someone you know to say hello to and know a bit about but not your mate, that kind of thing. They are not 3 miles away and obscured by a bush

The OP does specify when meeting new people. Maybe the giveaway was when they were introduced as Ibrahim and Polly

As I understand it, a Muslim woman can not marry a non-muslim man, but the rules are less strict the other way. A muslim man can marry a non-muslim woman, as long as she is a woman "of the book" IE: she is a Christian or she is Jewish. Do correct me if I am wrong.

Therefore I doubt I'd think anything of it unless she was very skimpily dressed I suppose, then I might ponder if that is an issue, if I was around this couple long enough to not immediately forget about them.

There is no way on earth I could recognise someone as a Pakistani man. What a stupid thing to say. Does he have a flag on his forehead or something?

In that case I suppose I would felt quite nosy about how it works for them. Not judgey, but nosy and interested.
But then I am a nosy person 🤷‍♀️
I would never be rude enough to ask.