To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

[Weallknowfrogsgo]

White non markedly Muslim or other wise woman and a Muslim man together, clearly in a relationship? What do you think?

as this is an anonymous forum, please do be honest.

after that thread about the woman marrying and arab, it strikes me that a lot of people have some quite strong opinions on this, and the convert to Islam threads on here also have been quite telling

disclaimer this is me, despite living in a very multicultural place, we do get looks here and there and boundless questions on our relationship that tbh aren’t very appropriate to ask a stranger whenever we meet new people. And if we go someplace less diverse the looks are more apparent.

Personally? I couldn't give a monkeys.

I mean it’s uncommon but I wouldn’t be bothered or interested enough to look or ask questions but I see why some people would. A lot of British people turn into suspicious mediaeval peasants when confronted with novelty or concepts outside of their usual range.

Not wanting to be difficult but how would the casual passerby be able to tell that the man was Muslim?

I don’t know how I would know if a man was a muslim by looking at him. Am I missing something? I do live in a very white rural area though so forgive my ignorance.
If I see women confirming to religious dress codes (on tv as never seen anybody here) I feel sad and angry that women are expected to cover hair/face etc.
As with most religions my issue is that women are the most controlled.

I'd just think 'oh there's a couple'..... if anything.

The only time I’ve ‘noticed’ it was, having moved from London where any ethnic mix in relationships seemed pretty usual, to just outside extremely multi-ethic Leicester, where it wasn’t.

I’d say the reaction you would get could depend on where you live

Honestly nothing at all. I work with a couple, she's white Irish he's Pakistani Muslim they got married around 10 years ago, had the Islamic ceremony at his house first and a few days later had a civil ceremony in the local town hall. They have been happily married all this time and I don't think anyone did anything but wish them well!!

Nothing! It’s not my business.

You can't tell someone is a Muslim just by looking at them! However if I actually know they are, then no it's not a problem, I am used to it, lived in London a long time and know of several inter-faith/culture marriages.

How would i know he's Muslim specifically?

I read an article and it said that white women should stay away from Arab men - I remember being shocked at first but then it went on to explain the reasons why and I was ohhhh ok! 😂 (written by a Muslim woman)

I mean of course there are some it works for I'm not totally stupid 😀

Nothing much, if I really thought about it I’d be wondering if the guys sister would have been allowed to marry “ out” so easily.

I know a few couples like this. Absolutely zilch of my business. One woman did lose half her family due to being in a relationship with a Muslim. A couple of women have become very conservative in their religious views over the last few years, which don’t particularly align with my own views/beliefs, but that’s life in general isn’t it.

I wouldn’t notice.

Tbf I know some very happily married couples. But it’s generally where neither are religious and are unlikely to start becoming religious mostly secret atheists tbh. I do know a couple of converts but tbh they seem pretty happy with their choices 🤷🏽‍♀️, totally normal people.

I think it’s different if you marry someone who you thought was one thing and then ends up being a religious nut and tries to enforce rules on you and your kids you don’t want. I think that does happen in some relationships and pretending it doesn’t or that women are disadvantaged in some communities in the name of anti-racism really just ignores some womens reality and is anti-feminist.

Islamophobia is rife on Mumsnet - as evident by that thread. The responses would have been very different if someone was having a non-legally binding Christian ceremony. It’s exactly why there is now a Muslim board on Mumsnet - to give Muslims a safe space away from the open disdain that people have towards Muslims on Mumsnet.

As far as I'm aware, Muslim men don't have horns or allah tattooed on their forehead! How would you know a man was Muslim as opposed to south Asian or Arab. Plenty of secular people around too. Marrying someone from abroad is a bigger risk than their nominal religion in my opinion and even then it's down to your choice. I have several good friends in multi cultural marriages in Leicester, it's common, both white/non white or both Asian but different religions. People jog along just fine and people really don't care

Muslim isn't a race - there are plenty of white muslims (eg there are white Muslims in Europe - Bosnia, Northern Cyprus, parts of former USSR). There are also white converts to Islam.

How would you know?

genuinely surprised people are asking, if they are wearing traditional dress, long beard, prayer cap, someone who’s marked muslim by their appearance, answers so far are genuinely surprising me given the PP about a woman going to an Arab country to get married

a) How would I know he's muslim?
b) If I did somehow know, I wouldn't think anything.

I wouldnt think anything. I probably wouldnt notice.

Add to the fact that millions of South Asian people are Christian, and a lot more than that are Hindu, and Sikh….

There are specific clothing choices, beards and headwear that would make me think a man might be Muslim. Of course, it’s up to the individual, but in many areas of the NW where I lived, it was fairly common to be able to identify a man as a Muslim. Even to whether he was Bengali or Pakistani or Pushtu.
That said, I’d have no opinion on a relationship as described in the OP, other than noting it in the same way as tall/short, same sex, matching outfits or any other combo.
It’d be the behaviour, the interactions and the usual stuff that makes anyone think That’s nice’ or ‘That’s worrying’

If I saw them on the street, I doubt I would notice.

If I met them in a social situation, I may, I think, be curious about how they reconciled their differing beliefs ( assuming their beliefs did differ).

But, I am equally curious about my local vicar whose wife is openly agnostic, and also curious about some of the posters on Mumsnet, who have partners who are very culturally opposed to one another.

But I wouldn’t think it was wrong, for what it’s worth.