To ask what you think when you see a white woman and a Muslim man?

[Weallknowfrogsgo]

White non markedly Muslim or other wise woman and a Muslim man together, clearly in a relationship? What do you think?

as this is an anonymous forum, please do be honest.

after that thread about the woman marrying and arab, it strikes me that a lot of people have some quite strong opinions on this, and the convert to Islam threads on here also have been quite telling

disclaimer this is me, despite living in a very multicultural place, we do get looks here and there and boundless questions on our relationship that tbh aren’t very appropriate to ask a stranger whenever we meet new people. And if we go someplace less diverse the looks are more apparent.

Just from a friends experience….
Honestly I’d assume he was using her for some fun, will eventually break up with her and marry a Muslim woman his family approve of. Leaving white woman totally heartbroken. I’m sure I’ve read similar stories on mumsnet, so I think it’s fairly common.

Not that I’d really think about it much if at all if just some random strangers. But if it were a friend I’d share what happened to said friend above and advise to be cautious. Ask to be introduced to his family etc. If his family welcome you, I’d be less cautious.

Maybe it’s just due to my marriage but I can tell for the most part the difference.

Yes some Muslim men in the UK wear a skull cap and shalwaar kameez or robe but that is a pretty observant Muslim man from a certain cultural/national background.

Like Christians, Muslims come in all shapes and sizes. There are a lot of Muslims in the African disapora - so you may see a mixed white/African Caribbean couple and the man could be a Muslim but you may not know.

I wouldn't give it a thought.

I can tell the difference, but I’m asian (not Muslim), met an Irish man who identified my religious background once accurately with no clues.

I’m white and my partner is of Pakistani heritage, he’s not a practicing Muslim but his parents are.

its never been a thing for either of us and his parents have zero say in anything that happens in our relationship. Interestingly his siblings also are with white partners.

appreciate it might not be typical for Muslim parents to have such little influence over their offspring’s choices/lives but that’s definitely the case here.

https://dustandtribe.com/2022/08/01/muslim-men-a-warning-to-all-women/

heres the article if anyone is interested

I wouldn’t think anything

Me neither.

meh. Probably wouldn’t notice. lots if white people are Muslim so I don’t generally know someone’s religious unless they’re wearing a thobe or hijab.

I know many Muslims who are white, or who don't wear any traditional clothing. This post is just bizarre.

I live in an area with a high muslim population and don't think I've ever come across this. I see quite a lot of hindu men with white women and the other way round.

Anyone can be a Muslim it's not subject to a race or skin colour.

What you are asking is if your see a white woman and an Asian man together are you bothered as your conception of Muslims is mostly likely to be a stereotype of Asian Muslims.

It wouldn’t even register here (London).

Also, as PP said, how would I know the man is muslim / the woman isn’t.

The ethnic mix you’re describing could just as easily be a white Bosnian muslim woman and a Hindu man.

No it’s not look at the vitriol on all the Muslim adjacent posts on MN, clearly a lot of people have some very strong views.

But a Muslim woman wouldn’t marry a non Muslim would she

My thoughts would probably be along the lines of "I wonder whether they've encountered a lot of family or community opposition and prejudice?" and then probably subconsciously deciding they have and giving them props for overcoming it.

I do admit to doing a double take when a white woman is wearing traditional Muslim dress as it's unusual to see.
I live by a mosque and almost never see this. I do have 2 couples as friends who are white woman/Muslim man and 2 who are white man/Hindi women but everyone is very westernised and non practicing so it isn't noticeable.

On the surface I wouldn’t take a bit of notice.

But i would notice if e.g. the woman had started to dress modestly, started to wear a head scarf etc and I would wonder about whether their daughters were being raised in the Muslim faith and everything that represents.

If the marriage goes well then power to them and nobody needs to care.

But if the marriage goes wrong it has the potential to go very, very wrong.

E.g. I would never advise someone move to an Arab country because if the marriage ends then the woman loses all rights to the children.

In the UK if someone divorces their husband from certain countries the warning is always to ensure that he never leaves the country with them.

I think all major religions have certain red flags if the people practicing those religions are particularly evangelical. And those red flags should be heeded going in.

For the most part I don’t know how you’d know either. Obviously if they were in full Islamic dress then yes, but the Muslim men I know (in a work sense) all wear regular work clothes so don’t announce their religious beliefs in an obvious way.

If it was obvious, I doubt I’d think anything of it.

All the people saying how would you know 🙈 I honestly believe must not know many Muslim men. Live and was brought up in an area with high percentages of Muslim people and 90% of Muslim men I would recognise for a combination of their prayer cap, their dress or beard. Does that mean I’d recognise every Muslim man, of course not, but let’s presume OP is talking about a Muslim man who IS recognisable.
Just like you’d be able to recognise a Hasidic Jew or a Sikh man. It’s not racist to say you can recognise people by their dress, in fact I’d say it’s respectful not to lump everyone together!

Why not?

I have come across plenty of women from muslim backgrounds who are married / in a relationship with white British men. It’s very common, in fact.

So an Asian or Middle Eastern man with a white woman? I wouldn't think anything at all just from that.

But if he was wearing Muslim dress, prayer cap etc I guess I'd wonder how his obvious religious devotion (which usually means needing to marry a Muslim woman who would also presumably wear Muslim dress), and being in a relationship with a non-Muslim works - for both of them. I'm not even remotely religious and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone who is - whether that's Christian, Muslim, Jewish or anything else.

I'm a Londoner. I wouldn't even notice.

I do occasionally see white women wearing hijab or other Islamic clothing locally and I do register that briefly as a relative anomaly, but only in an "oh, that's unusual, now back to my boring self-obsessed thoughts" kind of way.

This is the problem. You might be with the kindest, loveliest man in the world; but you are also more likely to be in a relationship where women are treated as second class citizens.
However at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what a bunch of randoms think; what do you think about the relationship?