Was I rude to this lady?

[Patchymum]

I got on a bus yesterday with my DD who is six. She was wearing a backpack with not much in it so it was very light. The bus was quite full, mostly with older people who were sitting near the front. My DD sat down quickly next to an elderly woman as the bus was moving off and she was already getting jolted about. As she sat down I was saying "be careful with your backpack" but as the words were leaving my mouth the bag very lightly bumped the lady on the arm, literally just stroked it. She snatched her arm away, tutted loudly and gave my DD the filthiest look, like she was shit on her shoe.
Had she not done this, the next words out of my mouth would definitely have been an apology but instead I said "she's six years old, she didn't mean it" in a firm voice which I didn't raise.
At the next stop, her and her husband moved seatsto a few rows back but the entire 20 minute journey they both stared at me and DD with horrible sneery mouths, looked us up and down, whispered to each other and shook their heads. I also noticed another man sat near us thar kept looking from me to DD and shaking his head like we were doing something wrong. When we got off the bus I looked back and saw them both staring at us out of the window with the same expressions.
Was I rude or did they over-react?
I've always been very hot on manners with my kids so now I'm worried I set a bad example.

I agree. Im not old, but I've had a lot of pain and regular muscle injuries often in multiple parts of my body from a chronic condition. If I protected those injuries constantly Id never be able to go anywhere. Chronic issues get treated very differently to acute one off injuries.

So now the 6yo has hit her in the eye?!

Can I just check something, the woman tutted, moved her arm and looked at your child, then moved seats after a while? The rest is just how you chose to interpret everyone's feelings and thoughts?

Even if we are to take your story as definitive, the woman was just being mildly irritable. I'll even give you the woman was being overtly precious.But so what? Total non event. At best it required an "oh sorry" or a hand raise and an "opps" face, or even just no reaction for you.

If the woman started screaming and thrashed around holding her arm, and verbally berated your child then, yes that would have been an overreaction on her part. As it stands it seems it was you who overreacted to the irritable action of another person.

You may have a reason for being over sensitive at that moment and thats why you felt the need for a firm voiced comment. (Just as the woman may have had reason for her irritation.) But it's one interaction with a stranger you'll probably never see again. Whether you were rude or not, you can't change it. Unless there's an insurance claim or your child is having nightmares about it, move on.

I’m with BIWI on this one. It really doesn’t matter that the woman was elderly. The “overreaction” could be because it was a neurodivergent woman in her twenties. Or a woman in her thirties with young kids at home who just wants to spend the commute not being touched by kids. Or a woman in her forties dealing with menopause. Or a woman in her fifties that hurt her arm in the gym. Or a woman in her sixties who hurt her arm walking the dog when it pulled. Or a woman in her seventies who hurt her arm when her grandchild jumped on her. Or a woman in her eighties with arthritis. Or a woman in her nineties with incredibly frail skin. Or someone who is tired or not feeling well. Or someone has been bumped by 6 backpacks already. Or someone who doesn’t like kids. Or someone who doesn’t like the bus and being bumped by a back pack because the driver didn’t wait, is one of the reasons.

It doesn’t matter why they “overreacted”. Your kid bumped them with a back pack. It wasn’t because she was charging about, that incident isn’t a statement of your parenting. It was an accident. But you lashed out over something you perceived happened. That is the reflection of your parenting that everyone on the bus now has of you.

I've got an arthritic right hand, left shoulder that aches from a fracture years ago, an arthritic left hip, right foot healing from a fracture. I'm trying to picture how I'd look trying to protect them all.

In today’s episode of ‘aren’t old people just AWFUL’. 🙄

That’s good and I’m not saying you do. Just that a parent saying “she's six years old, she didn't mean it" in a firm voice doesn’t help smooth things over after she’s jostled someone. A quick sorry would have done that.

One of my favourite lines of all time!!!!

OP if you'd have had to get a bus straight after a c section and someone in your position (or their "sweet innocent child" bumped you I'm sure you may not have reacted as well
Have a bit of empathy
Apologise and set a good example in future
Tell your children how to behave on public transport

No, she's not the only person who has an issue with this. I have one too, not least because your lead has been followed by so many others with no objection from you.

Im always abit suspicious of people who are given 'evils' by strangers.....esp if its multiple strangers! You never know how much of it is just in their heads!!

I just know Ive been insulted and tutted at a few times when walking my dog by bully owners. I cross the street to avoid them (because one of my dogs is a complete arse and bites other dogs), at which point I get tutts and often random comments about how their precious baby wouldnt hurt a fly and Im being OTT.
I literally couldnt care less about their dog except to save it from my tiny twat of a dog and yet they have already made up an entire narrative in their head about my motives!
Sorry.....abit random I know, its jusst what the OPs post makes me think of!!LOL