Was I rude to this lady?

[Patchymum]

I got on a bus yesterday with my DD who is six. She was wearing a backpack with not much in it so it was very light. The bus was quite full, mostly with older people who were sitting near the front. My DD sat down quickly next to an elderly woman as the bus was moving off and she was already getting jolted about. As she sat down I was saying "be careful with your backpack" but as the words were leaving my mouth the bag very lightly bumped the lady on the arm, literally just stroked it. She snatched her arm away, tutted loudly and gave my DD the filthiest look, like she was shit on her shoe.
Had she not done this, the next words out of my mouth would definitely have been an apology but instead I said "she's six years old, she didn't mean it" in a firm voice which I didn't raise.
At the next stop, her and her husband moved seatsto a few rows back but the entire 20 minute journey they both stared at me and DD with horrible sneery mouths, looked us up and down, whispered to each other and shook their heads. I also noticed another man sat near us thar kept looking from me to DD and shaking his head like we were doing something wrong. When we got off the bus I looked back and saw them both staring at us out of the window with the same expressions.
Was I rude or did they over-react?
I've always been very hot on manners with my kids so now I'm worried I set a bad example.

This is far but we were caught by surprise when the bus move off so quickly. We didn't have a chance to get "settled". Either way, it was an accident

I'm torn on this one. No matter how elderly etc you are, you can't expect delicate treatment on public transport. It's often rough and overcrowded. And she was rude to make a huge fuss.
However you escalated the situation. Why couldn't you have added a sorry at the start of end of your sentence?

I get that your protective instincts kicked in seeing your daughter glared at by a stranger but I'd have apologised anyway. You catch more flies with honey and being overly sweet and apologetic would have made her feel bad, not what you said.

Did she wet herself ? Missed that

Chip on their shoulder about mothers and children breathing the same air as them in public is my guess.

They sound mean and grumpy, don't waste your emotional energy worrying about this. Life is too short.

You may be right but you ahpuld have seen the LOOK she gave my sweet girl. She wasn't hiding her feelings at all.

My elderly mother and father decided to take up two double seats on the bus and They got annoyed when a small child nearly tripped up when the bus started moving and couldn’t get her bag down on time so she sat down on the free seat next to my Mum.

The child’s bag accidentally brushed Mum’s arm, 6 year old was unaware and even though her Mum had reminded her to be careful my Mum decided to lose her temper even though it wasnt deliberate, and didn’t hurt. She just doesn’t like children.

Dad could have sat next to her but preferred his option of manspreading on the next seat.

They took offence when child’s Mum defended her, they then moved and begrudgingly sat next to each other. They then made Mum feel uncomfortable for the remainder of the journey

Yeah but by telling her off you basically made her dig her heels in.
Anyway, it's over, forget about it.
They must have such little lives to overreact over a minor incident. You don't want to be in the same category by constantly thinking about it.

She's probably been whacked by a kid with a backpack before and got a skin tear that took ages to heal - assuming she was properly elderly and not Mumsnet elderly aged 60.

Really awful to tut and pull her arm away?

Dreadful behaviour. String her up

No, she was old old. My mum is 66 and i don't consider her to be old. This lady was in her 80s at least.

Far too much staring, sneering, tutting, whispering and looking at your 'sweet girl', and then a stranger joined in.

Something's not adding up somewhere but it's done now, nothing you can do about it.

It was more the look of utter disgust she gave my DD.
DD looked at her when she tutted and snatched her arm away and saw this woman looking back at her, down her nose with total contempt, like she was something she had stepped in and not a small child. That's what got my back up, along with the tut and arm snatch.

You escalated the situation, but really, it's your daughter who should have apologised - you need to teach her that if she jostles someone with her belongings, she should always say a quick 'sorry'. At six, she is old enough to remember this.

Most people would apologise automatically, even if it was clear no injury had been caused. I bet if your daughter had said 'sorry', the lady would have said 'that's all right' or similar and thought no more of it.

Miserable auld gits.

She probably would have done but I think she felt quite intimidated

Was your child rough? If she wasn’t she definitely didn’t jostle her.

She just didn’t like giving up the free eeat next to her

From your post she was unreasonable in her reaction but who knows how it actually went down. Especially when you say another man, not even involved in the situation started to give you both looks. This seems very telling.

You 100% should have apologised for your daughter though or asked her to say sorry to the lady. That’s just good manners.

I don't know how people like that get through life! My response would have been 'don't worry about it', with a smile and a shrug.
You just got unlucky.

If they'd been staring at me after I got off the bus, I would have given them the middle finger and mouthed fuck off. Without child seeing of course.

It seems the most significant parts of this exchange were all communicated in facial expressions and body language.

I'm ND and I always worry that I might be looking at people like they're something on my shoe, or looking at them like they're doing something wrong, or looking them up and down, completely by accident.

Neither of you travel on buses, do you? They set off while you're still standing in the aisle. There's no way for a six year old to safely take off a backpack when the bus is pulling away.

If it only brushed her, her daughter probably didn't even realise! It was a MASSIVE overreaction, probably from two people who's brains aren't wired right and you can't legislate for people like that.

Maybe next time they get on a bus they will sit together instead of taking up 4 seats.

YABU for not laughing in their sneering faces. People forget kids are kids sometimes.