Was I rude to this lady?

[Patchymum]

I got on a bus yesterday with my DD who is six. She was wearing a backpack with not much in it so it was very light. The bus was quite full, mostly with older people who were sitting near the front. My DD sat down quickly next to an elderly woman as the bus was moving off and she was already getting jolted about. As she sat down I was saying "be careful with your backpack" but as the words were leaving my mouth the bag very lightly bumped the lady on the arm, literally just stroked it. She snatched her arm away, tutted loudly and gave my DD the filthiest look, like she was shit on her shoe.
Had she not done this, the next words out of my mouth would definitely have been an apology but instead I said "she's six years old, she didn't mean it" in a firm voice which I didn't raise.
At the next stop, her and her husband moved seatsto a few rows back but the entire 20 minute journey they both stared at me and DD with horrible sneery mouths, looked us up and down, whispered to each other and shook their heads. I also noticed another man sat near us thar kept looking from me to DD and shaking his head like we were doing something wrong. When we got off the bus I looked back and saw them both staring at us out of the window with the same expressions.
Was I rude or did they over-react?
I've always been very hot on manners with my kids so now I'm worried I set a bad example.

Yes, jostle, what do you think jostle means?

🤷‍♀️

I would need to hear your firm voice before I could comment.

Your idea of firm might be someone else's idea of obnoxious.

I'm not saying it's so. Just saying it's possible.

When people think old people are being miserable and arsey about things like this, they need to understand that what is a ‘jostle’ to a younger person, could be a very bad bruising or even a broken bone to an older person.

I’m not suggesting for a second that this is as bad as that op, and it was clearly an accident, but that’s why old people might be super sensitive about it.

No excuse for the grumbling and nasty looks but maybe they are just at the end of their tether with unruly and generally inconsiderate behaviour on public transport and you were just a very vocal, final straw.

I do think everybody in society needs to have a bit more empathy these days.

That would be fine if the bus driver lets you sit down before they move off but they don't. I have often almost fallen over. And besides it's also normal practice to expect people to sit next to you if the seat is free.

Yes normally this is what we wpuld do but the bus was moving off before we'd had a chance to sit down and DD would have fallen over if she hadn't sat down quickly. She couldn't reach any of the handles and only had my hand and i wasn't stable either. She sat down really quickly because she felt unstable, I was telling her to be careful as she sat but it was too late

Not to be accidentally brushed gently with a bag by a 6 year old

I do think you were rude not to apologise, but they massively overreacted if things happened exactly as you said.

Maybe they were wondering why you kept looking at them?

As a different passenger was also pissed off even though not involved then I think you FIRM voice ( odd description) was, in fact, RUDE

Your poor DD must have been cringing

Yeah I think the outsider has a better idea of the situation than us OP sorry.

They were awful, really awful and your poor dd but we’d need to hear your tone to know if you were being rude- you said firm, could have sounded rude? But they were terrible

The second passenger also thinking you were unreasonable probably suggest you were.

Well yes.. come on @Patchymum your 6 yo dd with a wee back pack is really your 21yo para son who totally rugby tackled the other passenger with full 100lb army bergen isn't it? 😆
Agree with the 'behave' for some posters, what on earth else would have happened?!

I agree. Without hearing it we can't tell

In 10 years of taking public transport with kids I have NEVER let them kick the back of anyones seat. I also teach them to keep their voices low and we always give up our seats for people that need them more. Basic manners.

YANBU at all. Even if your voice came across as rude she was rude first and deserved it.

The woman overreacted massively, as are some people in this thread saying you child jostled the old woman

It wasn’t deliberate or rough, don’t worry about it. You didn’t have time to react or get daughter to take bag from her back.

Just bare it in mind for next time.

The older you get, the little knocks really bruise and stay for weeks.

What we wouldnt feel at 30, can really hurt at 60

This story will be on here later -
’My elderly mum was on a bus yesterday, after having a blood test and a child sat next to her and caught her arm with a bag. The child’s mum didn’t say sorry and spoke harshly to my mum. Mum and dad moved seats but this women spent the rest of the journey staring at us. Mum was really upset’.

A smile and a sorry would have ended the matter.

Hmmmm, yea, another one wondering what their take would be 🤣

A middle finger would suffice

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

The lady probably reacted a little harshly, but you or your daughter should absolutely have apologised. My kids have known since they were old enough to carry a backpack that you take it off and hold it in front of you on public transport so you don't inadvertently hit anyone with it.

Big response to something so minor. This is a them problem not a you problem.

Middle finger? When your child is with you to witness it?

Classy