Was I rude to this lady?

[Patchymum]

I got on a bus yesterday with my DD who is six. She was wearing a backpack with not much in it so it was very light. The bus was quite full, mostly with older people who were sitting near the front. My DD sat down quickly next to an elderly woman as the bus was moving off and she was already getting jolted about. As she sat down I was saying "be careful with your backpack" but as the words were leaving my mouth the bag very lightly bumped the lady on the arm, literally just stroked it. She snatched her arm away, tutted loudly and gave my DD the filthiest look, like she was shit on her shoe.
Had she not done this, the next words out of my mouth would definitely have been an apology but instead I said "she's six years old, she didn't mean it" in a firm voice which I didn't raise.
At the next stop, her and her husband moved seatsto a few rows back but the entire 20 minute journey they both stared at me and DD with horrible sneery mouths, looked us up and down, whispered to each other and shook their heads. I also noticed another man sat near us thar kept looking from me to DD and shaking his head like we were doing something wrong. When we got off the bus I looked back and saw them both staring at us out of the window with the same expressions.
Was I rude or did they over-react?
I've always been very hot on manners with my kids so now I'm worried I set a bad example.

You can take your backpack off before you get on the bus, perhaps while waiting at the bus stop, and hold it by one strap. Still got one hand free to hold on.

If someone looked at my child like they were shit on their shoe for very obviously doing something unintentional, I would have called them out on it.

It was clearly enough of a bump for the OP to notice it. If the daughter hadn't noticed, the lady's reaction made it obvious, and she should have apologised.

The elderly lady would have got my back up too with her crabby attitude .
YANBU. She could see she was a little girl and it was not done on purpose.

I was literally stood right there, less than a foot away from them both and watching my child the whole time, of course I noticed.

Were they The Twits?

OP noticed it because she was watching her child.

OP responded in firm manner, the old woman sounds awful.

And I'll ask you again @Patchymum, why is her age relevant?

Goodness me. These older ladies! Three threads all posted within minutes of each other about 'older ladies' being rude on buses, being rude about dogs and rude about football! I wonder if it's the same 'older lady' or just coincidence?

I'm sorry, I missed the first time you asked the question.

Her age is relevant for all the reasons people other than me have already stated. Perhaps lightly brushing her qrm withba backpack is more damaging to an older person who is likely frailer than someone in their 30s.

I was trying to be fair and give all the facts.

I must check my emails again, as I don't seem to have seen the one instructing me to be rude to younger people.

What?

Some people are just grumpy. It's a 6 year old child, so unfortunately these things are going to happen despite your best efforts!

If the woman reacted like that without giving you a chance to apologise, I probably wouldn't have bothered either.

And they would likely 'call you out' back

Then what?

In front of your kid? Classy!

Ooooh

It wasn't

It's mumsnet though...

But you didn't say any of that. You just said that she was elderly. Other people have said those things.

Without that information, your post was ageist. Unnecessarily.

I have arthritis in my right arm and hand and I'm younger than her. What might seem like a slight thing to you might have been very painful to her. You should still have apologised.

If you know she was staring at you for 20 minutes were you staring at her for 20 minutes?

To be honest you don't know her, it might just be her resting bitch face.

The old woman was rude and mean to a 6yo struggling as a bus pulled off so forfeited her apology. Woman must have heard the words you were saying about take care with backpack so knew it was an accident from an unaware child, rather than an inconsiderate mother.

bullshit did she have any pre existing arm injury - you protect an injury with your other hand as you are so scared of it getting hurt. I did this for months.

there are unfortunately people in the world who have so little to do or think about that they need to get silly about non-events to fill their time. It’s a shame they don’t actually help people as there are so many in our society struggling with all sorts of stuff.

Actually I don't choose to go round holding my arm in case someone inconsiderate knocks it. They are the ones who should watch what they are doing.

Quick quick!! Answer now @Patchymum 🫡

Would you say a 6yo struggling when a bus pulls off and not quickly processing her mother’s warning is inconsiderate?

No it wasn't, it was perfectly relevant. That is why people said those things. I included her age so that I was being completly fair to her, actually.
If I had kept her age to myself people wouldn't have been able to use it to defend her and make the point that maybe it hurt her more than I realised.
It's also relevant because there may be a point to be made that different generations think and expereince things differently due to different upbringing nd life experiences.
And I am pretty sure that if i hadn't included her age, someone would have asked it and maybe even said I was "drip feeding"
So I included it in the interest of fairness and full disclosure.
And if she was a teenager, I would have said that too.
And I also included my DD's age because that too was relevant.

This thread really is bringing out a dreadful want of manners in some posters.

Of course you apologise to someone you've bumped as you're sitting down - or apologise on behalf of a child in your care if they didn't notice. I can't believe people are questioning this.

Instead we have people who sound like they're auditioning for a part in EastEnders talking about 'calling out' the injured party for daring to exhibit some displeasure at the inconsiderate way she was treated.

She didn't give me a chance to apologise.

And the way she was "treated"? Because a small child accidently touched her with her bag?