Was I rude to this lady?

[Patchymum]

I got on a bus yesterday with my DD who is six. She was wearing a backpack with not much in it so it was very light. The bus was quite full, mostly with older people who were sitting near the front. My DD sat down quickly next to an elderly woman as the bus was moving off and she was already getting jolted about. As she sat down I was saying "be careful with your backpack" but as the words were leaving my mouth the bag very lightly bumped the lady on the arm, literally just stroked it. She snatched her arm away, tutted loudly and gave my DD the filthiest look, like she was shit on her shoe.
Had she not done this, the next words out of my mouth would definitely have been an apology but instead I said "she's six years old, she didn't mean it" in a firm voice which I didn't raise.
At the next stop, her and her husband moved seatsto a few rows back but the entire 20 minute journey they both stared at me and DD with horrible sneery mouths, looked us up and down, whispered to each other and shook their heads. I also noticed another man sat near us thar kept looking from me to DD and shaking his head like we were doing something wrong. When we got off the bus I looked back and saw them both staring at us out of the window with the same expressions.
Was I rude or did they over-react?
I've always been very hot on manners with my kids so now I'm worried I set a bad example.

You should have apologized to her. Anyway let it go.

But you did.

You posted specifically about elderly women. You could quite easily have posted about other passengers. But you didn't.

You could just have posted this:

I got on a bus yesterday with my DD who is six. She was wearing a backpack with not much in it so it was very light. The bus was quite full, mostly with people who were sitting near the front.

My DD sat down quickly next to another woman as the bus was moving off and she was already getting jolted about. As she sat down I was saying "be careful with your backpack" but as the words were leaving my mouth the bag very lightly bumped the lady on the arm, literally just stroked it. She snatched her arm away, tutted loudly and gave my DD the filthiest look, like she was shit on her shoe.

Had she not done this, the next words out of my mouth would definitely have been an apology but instead I said "she's six years old, she didn't mean it" in a firm voice which I didn't raise.

At the next stop, her and her husband moved seats to a few rows back but the entire 20 minute journey they both stared at me and DD with horrible sneery mouths, looked us up and down, whispered to each other and shook their heads. I also noticed another man sat near us thar kept looking from me to DD and shaking his head like we were doing something wrong. When we got off the bus I looked back and saw them both staring at us out of the window with the same expressions.

Was I rude or did they over-react?
I've always been very hot on manners with my kids so now I'm worried I set a bad example.

@Screamingabdabz

broken bones

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣A small child's light backpack?? Do behave!!

@Patchymum

you should have apologised & reminded DD to be more careful. Simply to avoid all the ill feeling.

you can't tell by just looking at me, but. My joints are incredibly painful & something that doesn't look like much and indeed isn't much (to most people) can be excruciatingly painful.

However, I manage to plaster a smile on & would have just said hello to to your Dd & chatted (if she wanted to)

shes 6, it not like she's much older & being rough.

dont give it another thought!!

Yes I could have. I could have left out many descriptive factors in my OP, that you have chosen to ignore because you want to focus on calling me ageist. But as I said, I wanted to enclose as much information as possible to be fair. I found age relevant and so have many others. You are the only person who has an issue with me mentioning age.
So I will respectfully request once more that you please bore off.

Bore off?! How old are you

That's ageist.

My dad is bigger than your dad.

Did you seriously just say that? After vehemently accusing OP of ageism throughout the entire thread? 😂😂😂

Are you trolling? Tell me you're trolling

It’s not ageist though. 🙄 OP described what happened

I get annoyed with posters with bees and their bonnet trying to derail threads.

lots of other things get on my nerves on here too but I won’t derail the thread.

Good point!!

@BIWI ?

I'd have been inclined to give them the finger as the bus passed by.

You sound like you were a bit stroppy to be honest 😏 You should have apologised and helped your little one take off the backpack before getting on the bus. Being bumped by other people's backpacks is annoying!

@Applescruffle it was the OP who told me to 'bore off!'

You should’ve done this 🖕🏻as the bus drove off.

She’s a little girl and it was accident, the woman should have given you both some grace

Yes, I know, and then you asked the OP "how old are you" after complaining about ageism throughout the entire thread 😂😂😂

... which was clear a joke!

With bees and their bonnet, you say? 😉

An ageist joke

Your posts indicate that maybe your DD fell into the seat a bit, so maybe it felt to the woman that she had fallen against her, rather than lightly brushed? It's easy to fall a bit when the bus is jolting.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she already had pain in the arm or elsewhere? Maybe she has a reason you don't know? Maybe she didn't like the idea of a child next to her who might repeatedly accidentally brush or fall against her?

I'd just have said a passing apology and that would probably have been it for the ride. Even if the woman was a bit grumpy, that's on her and I wouldn't make it my problem.

If you get on a bus and bump someone, saying a quick sorry is all that is needed. If they react crazily (like huffing and carrying on), who cares and move seats as soon as possible.

Dont give her anymore headspace - who the hell tuts at a 6 year old?

I am a seasoned commuter of many years and like to consider myself as being polite which I have also taught DC. We use public transport daily and the way my DC is treated is shocking. People barging, tutting, dirty looks - all of these experienced in the past week. No wonder children forget their manners when they meet so many intolerant adults on a daily basis.

Oh and if she had just had a blood test and was too fragile for the bus next time she should hospital transport which is still very much available for the frail.

Parents are so defensive over their kids these days even if their kids are in the wrong. That's why schools are in such dire straits and so many kids are off the rails. Your kid hit an elderly lady with her bag and neither of you apologised. It's quite likely she could've been on steroids and a slight brush could cause bleeding. And hitting her in the eye was quite possible too. It should've been an automatic "sorry" from both of you. Imagine if it was the other way round and someone accidentally hit your kid! Bet there would be hell to pay and a lot more than stares and tutting.

Its not up to you to decide this didn't hurt her. Maybe it was harder then you thought, maybe her skin is fragile, or she has osteoporosis or she has sensory issues or chronic pain. You've decided she overreacted so doesn't deserve an apology yet you don't actually know what it felt like to her. Just apologise next time.