How to get son's girlfriend out of my house

[55goingon15]

I'm a single mother, long-time poster but changed names for this. My DS, in his early 20s has moved his girlfriend in with us. I didn't mind much at first but now I realise what a huge mistake it's been.

We had yet another row yesterday over their untidiness and general lack of care (e.g. forgetting to lock the front door after coming in late on Friday night) and she called me all sorts of horrible, unrepeatable names and I don't know what to do. They have been living here free of charge for several months and I have had enough of her selfish ways and her attitude. She also vapes/smokes weed and has got my son into it which I really don't like in my house.

I want her to go, but obviously I don't really want my son to go with her. They are both in minimum wage type jobs so don't earn a lot, but they don't even contribute by washing up after I have cooked a meal. What is the best way to approach this? Unfortunately she winds me up and it ends up in a shouting match, with my son supporting her and with me telling them to get out. They ignore me and are still in my house. What can do? Obviously I am not strong enough to physically throw them out and anyway I do worry about my son's state of mind as he has some history of violent outbursts.

well they must be saving a fortune towards the deposit on their own place, if their only living costs are ' a small financial contribution ' so hopefully they will both be on their way soon to their bricks and mortar.

Great to hear, I hope you are doing well after it all . Hopefully it’s a lesson learned for the pair .

thanks for updating OP.
That sounds pretty good I'd say. Well done for not letting them in the house.
I am wondering what happens if you ever want to use said caravan.
surely it wil be a nightmare to heat as things get colder - make sure you incrase their electricity contribution to reflect this!
I hope for your sake they realise its not sustainable long term and are therefore saving to hopefully get their own place? Hopefully DS will ditch the horrid GF before they get to that point though.

That’s a positive update, OP. The mind boggles as to why the GF is rude/appears resentful towards someone who’s letting her stay in their caravan and just charging a minimal amount for electricity.

As a PP said, they must be saving plenty towards a deposit so let’s hope they move out soon, preferably just her.

Be prepared for the bleating-about-winter - have your answers prepared.

'It's getting very cold overnight' --> maybe you should buy a second duvet / heated blanket / thermal underwear

'the caravan leaks' --> you need to trace where the water's getting in and do something to stop that (and just shrug should they expect you to provide the something)

You get the drift. The default answer should be that, as adults, it's down to them. Treat it as conversation/chit-chat, not a request for you to do anything (and obviously, don't do anything).

As others have mentioned, their costs have been so low over the summer that they have had an opportunity to save. You have a good relationship with your son, I would just ask casually if that's what they have done and how they plan to overwinter - with not so much as a sniff of concern from you! It's just small talk.

They both need to leave, give them a date to leave by, stuff on the front lawn if they don't leave and change the locks regardless so they can't just wander in! How dare she speak to you like that!

Sorry I just read the updates, so glad they are out of the house!

“she called me all sorts of horrible, unrepeatable names and I don't know what to do.”

You should have told her at that point that she was no longer welcome in YOUR house. If your son chooses to go with her, that’s up to him, but if he’s living at home rent-free, I doubt he’ll be gone for long - he won’t get such a good deal anywhere else.