To think there's never an excuse for not offering to take your shoes off in someone's home?

[CheerUpFFS]

If you're a guest ( not working, I.e in a profession where you go into someone's house ) aibu to think there is never, ever an excuse to not at least offer to take your shoes off in someone's home? My mind is always blown when someone comes to mine and leaves them on,

Yabu - I keep my shoes on
Yanbu - I take them off

YAB ridiculous.

Not going to bother re-explaining it.
this thread happens every couple of weeks. You can do a search if your imagination is really that limited.

@CheerUpFFS if this was me I am so sorry. 😬

I always offer as I expect people to take their shoes off in mine.
My husband was brought up in a shoes on family but now finds it gross as he’s so used to having them off that he gets annoyed when people don’t offer.
I don’t expect people to offer, but I expect them to notice that it is what we do in our home when they see the shoes at the door and act accordingly. If they don’t I silently judge them. I think most countries take shoes off don’t they?? I’ve lived in quite a few and they all had that as the norm - except the US - and even then my household did.

I'd always remove shoes upon entering anyones home - if they said not to then perhaps I wouldn't but I haven't encountered that except one when someone was mid decorating. I personally find it pretty poor manners to leave shoes on in someone's home and walk dirt on their floor, a lot of people have a freshen up and hoover/mop before guests arrive too - not ideal to then walk dirt on the fresh floor.

Worse if it's a carpeted house in my opinion! Then you're risking staining someone's carpet and it costs them either time or money to sort it out! To each their own but that's my preference and that of most people I know - just poor manners to not

Aww easily done, dw Op you didn't visit me! 😂I started this thread because I'm looking at buying myself a robovacuum and it got me thinking about how clean my floors are and so the thought's spiralled lol

Everyone does round here. I never ask, but everyone does anyway. It is damp and muddy a lot of the year, and most of my friends have carpets, so we all take our shoes off.

It is pretty unusual for people to not do so.

Unless your carpets and floors are cleaned and washed regularly I’m not taking my shoes off. I wear white socks and when I take them off by socks are filthy…if you ask someone to remove shoes make sure their socks don’t go black from your floors.

I have a messy, untidy house but even I prefer for people to wear indoor footwear only in the house to make it easier to keep clean. Fortunately the kids all agree. We have cheap Asian style plastic slides on.

Even the tradesmen sometimes ask if they should take their shoes off. I don’t expect that however.

YABU expecting people to ask... just request it of people when they come in, don't wait for them to ask

I prefer shoes off but my grandmother is 89 years old and I'd never ask her or expect her to take her shoes off. So yes there are good excuses not to sometimes.

I think it's really rude to demand it.

Sorry didn't mean to call you Op in my first response lol don't worry I've had no visitors today haha.

I’m guessing you don’t have a dog or cat.
If this is the worst thing you have to worry about ffs.

Yes, you are being precious.

In an emergency, do you expect fire, ambulance and police to take off their shoes before entering?

Just get a new mop and bucket and clean more often.

So what? Do you lick your floors?

Always take my shoes off, I've never been anywhere that is too dirty (except when doing renovation or something). At mine, shoes off, and for the tradespeople that can't take shoes off, I give plastic covers. Disgusting to even think to wear shoes indoors 🤢

I have three cats and a puppy! Hence keeping a very clean home. Tbh they don't cause much trouble if you keep on top of it, they're not dirty or messy. And yes I know my cats roam and come and go but they have no choice about footwear whereas visitors do! ( also my cats can do no wrong ever )

I'm surprised at the number of posters who think it is odd not to wear shoes in the house.
Either they don't have carpets or they live in cold houses, or it doesn't rain much where they live. I find slippers far more comfortable than shoes when I am relaxing at home.

I suppose, to me, taking my shoes off when I get in is akin to those women who rip their bras off when they get home. And I don't even wear uncomfortable shoes.

I offer because I know some people care and some people don’t. I rather people kept their shoes on in my home unless they are leaving the ground floor and going upstairs which is carpeted. DS1 who is autistic tends to drop things on the floor (despite constant reminders not to), dirt gets tracked in sometimes when I’m working in the gardens and taking things from the back garden to the front garden, kids going in and out from the back garden and the pram sits in the living room which is the only space to put it so I would not want anyone taking off their shoes in case they worry their socks will get dirty or they step in/on something.

Growing up, my parents nor my grandparents of either side had a shoes off policy. It was rare to ever ask people to take off their shoes and only expected it if their shoes were muddy or wet and most people had the common sense to wipe their feet properly before coming in or letting the host know beforehand. Plus, with it often being a lot of older people visiting and knowing they struggled, it wasn’t expected.

I dislike taking off my shoes in other people’s home. It makes me uncomfortable because I don’t like to wear socks unless I have to. I do it anyway out of respect for them and their home, but those that do I don’t visit them often anyway and prefer meeting up with people than going to their homes.

No, I just think your relative was dumb as a rock to not realize their shoe was covered in dog shit. 🙄

No way, I do one of those type of jobs though where I'm in people's houses a lot and even I offer to take my shoes off in certain circumstances ( rarely but for example when it's snowed out and I'm visiting someone whose house is clearly pristine) which is why I specified in my op. That said there's a difference between keeping shoes on for safety and dynamic purposes as is the case with their jobs and wandering into your mums newly carpeted house with your daily dog walking boots on.

I assume you've never done any type of work visiting people's homes. I've been to places where I'd wipe my feet on the way OUT. Homes with actual shit on the carpet, not just 'faecal germs.' No way would I take my shoes off there, guest or not.

Other 'excuses' could be severe arthritis or any disability that would mean they'd struggle to take their shoes off. I'd be ashamed of myself if I were so house proud I'd prefer my guests to be in pain or embarrassed than to take 2 seconds to wipe the floor down once they'd left. Or someone visiting because they are really upset. Can you imagine, "I'm so sorry to hear about your husband being murdered. Do you mind taking your shoes off before you start crying?"

As a PP said, if it means THAT MUCH to you just ask.

If guests ask if they should take their shoes off, I tell them to do what ever makes them feel most comfortable. Isn’t that part of being a good host?

We used to live in a rented flat with a mud track to the door (as entrance was not from the street) and cream carpets - we did have to ask people to take shoes off as it was impossible not to be filthy in the winter and we were worried about losing our deposit. I hated doing so and felt hugely inhospitable. It was a relief to me when we moved to our own house and had wooden floors and so could just focus on making people feel welcome rather than fussing about their footwear.

I have a medical condition which gives me a lot of pain if I am in socks on hard flooring (I always wear supportive house shoes at home). If someone asks me to take my shoes off I always will and I will never tell them that I’m in pain as a result (I hate people knowing about my condition). Therefore I’m very aware of not putting people in a similar position and I would hate to think of a guest being in discomfort to protect my floor!

Just ask if it’s important to you, surely? You sound as if you think everyone who comes in you should immediately clock a Spotless House and you as Someone With Superior Standards, and leap out of their footwear.

It might astonish you to know that I’m not doing a cleanliness check when I go to someone’s house. I’m there to see a person, not to mentally run a white gloved finger over the skirting boards. I do tend to take off my shoes automatically, as I’m always barefoot at home, but it’s not the norm for everyone.

I hate asking it's so awkward! In the least pompous way possible my house is spotless and it's obvious when you arrive so good manners should be removing footwear surely if you cam recognise its something important to the host? It's not difficult or superior standards it's just different standards.