To think there's never an excuse for not offering to take your shoes off in someone's home?

[CheerUpFFS]

If you're a guest ( not working, I.e in a profession where you go into someone's house ) aibu to think there is never, ever an excuse to not at least offer to take your shoes off in someone's home? My mind is always blown when someone comes to mine and leaves them on,

Yabu - I keep my shoes on
Yanbu - I take them off

Would you lick your carpets?

Wow, you're really determined to see different social norms as an insult aimed at you, aren't you?

What on earth is a house looking "too put together" supposed to mean?

I can assure you I'm not in the least bit envious of you being so precious about dirt. I like visiting homes where the aim is to have a fun time, which doesn't tend to marry well with treating people like they've just stepped out of a time machine from the Black Death.

Also, I have a disability that could affect how painful it was to take my shoes on and off. It's not visible and I wouldn't appreciate having to explain it to you because you thought contamination first, person second when you saw me.

I love the way OP keeps doubling down.

So you wouldn’t insist the disabled person takes their shoes off but they would know you think them having shoes on in your house is grim.

Bet they’d feel super welcome and delighted to visit.

Woah -,jealous? Ignorant?

Grey, greige, 😂😂

So do you also accept that you're wrong with this "no excuse" shite? If you went into a home where it's considered rude and over-familiar to take your shoes off, would you insist on doing so anyway?

Incidentally, do you lose it when someone scuffs your hoovered carpet lines?

"Greige"? Is that some made-up mixture of grey and beige? I hate to tell you, but rentals with grey carpet exist, and they just look like the low-maintenance homes they are.

You still haven't explained anything, and what's with this cry-laugh emoji nonsense?

I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all and I’m surprised so many people say you are. I’m disabled and can no longer walk, but when I could I would always offer to take my shoes off (and do so by default) despite how hard it was. I suppose I can say now that I may be the one reason not to take them off since they no longer touch the floor from my wheelchair :D

Erm that's not me that wrote that reply...

OP, are you going to acknowledge that your opening statement was wrong? That there are in fact excuses not to offer to take your shoes off?

I think you started this thread just to sneer at people and call them dirty.

What excuses are ok? I always offer to take my shoes off in people’s homes.

There are exceptions but I don’t think OP was referring to people with disabilities, who should of course be exempt.

The host has their shoes on.

Their floors are visibly dirty or unsafe.

You have never heard of such a thing being the norm.

There are plenty of scenarios given on the thread. OP said there’s ‘never’ an excuse. Is she (and you) insinuating that an absolute statement like that obviously doesn’t apply to disabled people? Or the elderly? Then why didn’t she say that? Those groups are part of ‘everyone’ aren’t they?

I'm surprised it was the norm to keep them on where you were tbh. Even at friends' houses of Indian or other Asian ethnicity?

It's not about keeping your shoes on its about not offering to remove them automatically.

Do you think people are lying or do you think it's possible that there is, indeed, no universal norm about this in this country?

Not sure if this has been mentioned up thread but I wonder if this is a class thing. Working class keep shoes on middle class offer to remove and generally don't wear shoes indoors?

Other way round.

🤣 Let me guess, you leave shoes on?

Actually I think it's more nuanced. Upper middle class shoes on, lower middle class shoes off, working class shoes off. In my experience.

Sorry that made no sense - working class shoes on

Bollocks! I don’t know of anyone whatever their ‘class’ who is anal enough to require you to take your shoes off!

No, the poster was saying it's bad manners to remove your shoes where they live in Australia. In my circle in Australia it was the opposite. I was surprised by their experience as Australia is very multicultural, with some cultural groups that would traditionally remove shoes.

My daughter lives in Australia and its defo shoes off

And lots of Indian people live in the UK and still there is no standard uniform approach.

In Australia we were a shoes on household, in the UK we were a shoes on household, my sister's in Australia are shoes on. My OH is Asian heritage and we have a shoes on household, so not even that's a "rule"