To think there's never an excuse for not offering to take your shoes off in someone's home?

[CheerUpFFS]

If you're a guest ( not working, I.e in a profession where you go into someone's house ) aibu to think there is never, ever an excuse to not at least offer to take your shoes off in someone's home? My mind is always blown when someone comes to mine and leaves them on,

Yabu - I keep my shoes on
Yanbu - I take them off

Unless you're posting from Tokyo or somewhere where it's a cultural norm

Its a cultural norm among much of the uk. I don't know anyone who wears outdoor shoes in the house. Carpet slippers are sold widely because its what many people wear indoors.

Agree, I really look after my feet and love a pedicure which helps if I have to get them out! Never noticed anyone elses feet though if they have to take their shoes off

I take my shoes off automatically in anyone's house, and expect them to do the same. We have some guest slippers. If I know you well I will bring my slippers to your house, as I have a dodgy foot that hurts walking without footwear.
I hate it when I go to a house with animal hair everywhere though and it gets on my socks. I then don't want to put them back In my shoes

No, I wouldn't automatically offer. I'd look for clues, like piles of shoes by the door or white carpets.

I definitely wouldn't offer if I knew the person was posh.

Well the first excuse could be that it was not the way they were raised / socialised and is not a social norm within their family / community?

newsflash - not everyone has the same experiences in life!

It wouldn’t cross my mind to take my shoes off - unless they had pristine white carpets. Most people have wood or laminate in the hallway or entry area anyway.

It’s completely dependant on what is “normal” for you, it is VERY difficult to rewire these deep seated norms.

It’s because it’s not a general thing OP - so if I arrived at someone’s house and saw they were wearing slippers, I would not automatically think “ah, they never wear shoes indoors here”. That might not be the case.

If you came to my house and immediately offered to take off your shoes I would be a bit surprised as normally I am wearing shoes so I might think you were having a dig at me!

Your mind is easily blown.

I wouldn’t usually offer if they have hard floors. If they have carpet then I might take them off automatically.
If asked then obviously I’ll remove them. I don’t ask or expect anyone to take them off in my home even though I do myself

Ah god there's always one who takes it all very literally!

Have you heard of athlete's foot? It's hardly rare, judging by the many home treatments available in a pharmacy near you. It's a fungal infection, do you want spores in your carpet?

YANBU

I always ask and I don't think anyone has ever come to my house and not offered to take their shoes off. I do keep clean floors though.

Really? 😮

I am fair from a house snob but really? If you walked into someone's home with your every day shoes and they had a pristine cream carpet, you wouldn't even think to offer to remove them? I find that so weird.

Wooden/laminate floors etc I understand as it is easily cleaned but fabric flooring I would always offer. It is grim. My kids play on the floor, I sit there too at times. Having a grotty carpet isn't nice

As a guest, the polite (and obvious) thing to do is assess the situation once you've walked through the front door. "Shoes off" households generally have all their shoes neatly lined up near the door (and often there are indoor slippers there too). And the hosts will be in their socks or slippers. If you see that - just take your fucking shoes off. No need to ask or comment.

If the hosts make a fuss and insist that you needn't remove your shoes - still take them off.

Mind is blown. I cannot imagine not taking my shoes off in someone's porch or entrance hall as I arrive. Nobody I know - either friends or family or colleagues would keep their shoes on. I've never had to ask anyone to take them off as they just do so automatically. Clearly I didn't know people on Mumsnet!😂

This. Outdoor shoes indoors is a no no. Only in some homes in the UK is it deemed acceptable. I'd never come across people wearing shoes indoors until I came to the UK

How would you feel if a wheelchair user came into your home?

Those pesky treads pick up all sorts.

Would you be horrified and disgusted or would you cope and manage around their comfort and needs?

You may not like others wearing shoes indoors but to suggest it’s terrible and unhygienic and awful is a bit silly.

Lots of people manage around people who need shoes for orthopaedic reasons, kids who wander outside barefoot and dogs and cats. People living in apartments often have to wheel bikes and prams / pushchairs indoors.

Yes it means you have to keep on top of the cleaning but it’s not awful, dangerous or going to kill people.

Me too!😂I remember my friend and I walking round London all day once, in the underground, public toilets, parks, all over and I was very relieved when we got back to mine and she slipped them off! I didn't want the residue from a London public toilet floor on my carpet!

It's not at all the norm anywhere I've lived or visited and I'd be side-eyeing anyone taking their shoes off in my house. I don't want your feet exposed, thank you!

I have never taken my shoes off in someone else's house and I have never asked anyone to do it in mine.

Floors clean.

There’s so much more to my life than an immaculate home.

Most visitors or pop ins to us offer or simply take their shoes off… I tell them not to bother unless they want to. My kids take their shoes off, my husband needs a wee prompt (and then leaves them in the middle of the sitting room floor which pisses me off way more than the indoor outdoor shoe thing 🙈)

Re the hygiene reason- doctor for 22 years. Yet to meet a patient made significantly ill by someone wearing shoes indoors. Your chances of picking up a bug on the bus are vastly higher.

Indeed my 9yo told me last week… we have more bacteria cells on/ within us than human cells. I haven’t actually fact checked this but it’s plausible 🙈

I suspect in decades to come we’ll realise our current (v mumsnet) obsession with blasting all and any microbes with chemicals detergents, and dodging anything ‘dirty’ will not be the right course in terms of public health.

YADNBU OP I cannot imagine not even offering in the first place. Rude!

I hate wearing shoes indoors even if the person I’m visiting insists on me leaving them on.

Same...I'm shocked at how many people are walking around indoors in dirty outdoor shoes!! Their homes must be full of all kinds of shit! Truly grim 🤢

I'd feel very differently as they cannot help it in those circumstances and tbh it wouldn't even cross my mind but its very different when people can see you have a spotless home and don't respect that by removing their shoes, it's not about what they do in their own houses when they're visiting your home and they should be mindful of that.

Contrary to what I see here on MN, I've never been an invited guest in anyone's home and been asked to remove my shoes. Not once.

So no, when my host answers the door wearing shoes I don't offer to take my own shoes off.