Husband walking into the house still on work call

[Barktip]

DH works long hours, has an hour + drive commute and always has work on the brain.
something that has been riling me is that he will use the commute to make phone calls that he then continues as he walks into the house.
I don’t know why it winds me up so much-it just seems rude to me and the kids
He will say that the alternative is sitting on the drive to finish the call which is marginally better but really I want him to acknowledge that what can’t fit into a 12 hour working day should probably be left for another time and that he needs a division between work and home.
(predictive typing just suggested divorce instead of division which might be quite appropriate!)
what should I say to him (if anything?)

I can't see where it says that re earnings - I might well have missed it, but could you show me please? I've searched quarter, 7.5, 3/4 and 3 so far.

What is his job that takes up so much time?

Men just cant do right.
No wonder they are becoming women.

I’d try leaving for a walk around the block as he walks in so he’s at home, the kids are at home and he needs to manage that, not more managing it for you.

My husband does this and it DRIVES ME INSANE. Now he understands, but if he happens to forget I just shoo him back out the door.

I would rather talk in the car for an hour than stay at work for an extra hour on calls and then drive home in silence.

That just makes me get home an hour later.

And yes sometimes I arrive home whilst still trying to finish a call. Not from choice but because I can't just cut someone off.

If dp told me how to conduct my professional life, or what I needed to do to feel ok before switching off for the day, he wouldn't be my dp for very long.

Very patronising imo.

OP, I have also been at home with small children when my partner has come in from a busy work day and been frustrated that it feels like work is still the centre of attention.

It's annoying but... that's the reality of modern workplaces. People in responsible jobs are rarely "off".

He shouldn’t be conducting work calls whilst driving, it’s not safe. Even hands free, that’s a huge level of distraction.

We both work hybrid and will pop in for a meeting, come back and call someone on the way. Neither of us have an issue with it. It’s fine to talk to your spouse about it annoying you, but I don’t think it’s inherently awful.

I think YABU. He wants to enter his own home, and he has to take a work call. Not that unreasonable on the face of it.

I bet its not the fact that he walk in the house on a work call. It's the fact that his work has taken over your lives so much that there is no couple's time or family time. Schedule a meeting with him and lay it out. Counselling if you can afford it. There is such thing as work addiction (I had it!) Seems like he has that

My husband does the same thing. It winds me up in exactly the same way. I find it disrespectful. It also changes the energy of the house. So it would be better if they sat in the car to finish the work call.

When I’m feeling generous I rationalise that they are just working as hard as they can to provide for the family. So I’m with you on this one but it’s worth thinking of the afore mentioned just to take the edge off how annoying it is sometimes.

♥️

If my job was so full on I'd had to do it all the way home, I'd take a dim view of my family calling me 'rude' over it. Presumably he's not doing it for fun, but to contribute to the roof over your head and the food on your table. The alternative would be later at the office, which probably wouldn't go down well either.

How can he continue the call into the house without the hands free in the car? He is surely not talking on his actual phone in the car and then bringing it in with him. That is quite simply illegal.

Because that's how phones work.

When you turn the engine off, the Bluetooth turns off, and the call switches back to the handset.

The same way you can be on a call, pop your earbuds in and it will switch over

If I had a late work call, I would much rather be in the comfort of my home, than sit uncomfortably in the car. Surely your husband is tired too. It's not uncommon to work even after official hours in many professions. In fact, it would do you both good to have some peace and quiet after work before engaging in adult conversations. Do you guys talk later in the night?

OP you sound like my DC (old enough to be left to their own devices) complaining when I finish late when I'm working from home or get back late from the office. In my job, I can't just drop things at the end of the working day. It's not about employer pressure. It's just a requirement of the job at the level I'm at. I would expect an adult to understand that.

You wouldn't be unreasonable to ask him to finish the call in the car but to expect him to finish calls at the office and then drive home later is ridiculous.

The law says it is safe. How do you know how intense these calls are? I'd agree with you if he was doing remote air traffic control or brain surgery, but... is he?

My dh spends alot of time on work calls in the home, its tedious and annoying, I'd rather it was all conducted out of ear shot

Well of course he’s not doing brain surgery. I don’t know why hands free calls aren’t banned. It doesn’t mean they’re safe. There are lots of studies showing how humans can’t effectively multitask.

I think he should finish it in the car.

How is a hands-free call different to just talking to your passenger?

I think if these long hours and work calls encroaching into family life are enabling him to be work-free and fully present at the weekend (which you haven't mentioned), then he's trying to do the right thing.

Well, it's a stupid interjection to this thread.

You might as well say he shouldn't make phone calls when driving home because fossil fuels are killing the planet.