Husband walking into the house still on work call

[Barktip]

DH works long hours, has an hour + drive commute and always has work on the brain.
something that has been riling me is that he will use the commute to make phone calls that he then continues as he walks into the house.
I don’t know why it winds me up so much-it just seems rude to me and the kids
He will say that the alternative is sitting on the drive to finish the call which is marginally better but really I want him to acknowledge that what can’t fit into a 12 hour working day should probably be left for another time and that he needs a division between work and home.
(predictive typing just suggested divorce instead of division which might be quite appropriate!)
what should I say to him (if anything?)

Idiotic comment

OP are you at home all day with pre-school children? Because if so I can get where you are coming from and I remember feeling similar.

Yes! We both work full time. Just his full time is a lot more full than mine. Mostly his choice. He doesn’t help himself with work life balance then complains that he is stressed. I’ve said many times to cut down hours/responsibilities but he won’t. We are fine for money.

But I’ll accept the majority that I’m being unreasonable and get over it

Well that is a shit attitude.

Kids are young primary school age and I’m at work so it’s not that I’m in that phase anymore but yes I remember it being even worse then. Maybe it’s still a hangover from that feeling!

I don’t know why you are getting a hard time.

this would annoy (does) me too. I think what doesn’t get done in the time available doesn’t get done, or can be picked up after kids bed. And I say this as someone with a senior ish position who works full time too.

Poor bloke.

I also do not see why you're getting a hard time here.

Work is work and home is home and letting work time encroach on home time is not fair on anyone nor is it good for the person in question.

I would discuss it with him and try to work towards him finishing up calls before coming into the house, so that you can say hi and talk to him,so the kids are not having to zip it and wait or be quiet etc because 'Daddys on a call'...

It comes with seniority and high salary, does it not?

For many professions too- this is a reality that is just this - real life.

This. Same with me. Both of us have this as well. I would find harassed if reprimanded about me trying to staying on top of work to pay bills - not for the love of it. All senior managers and above at my big 4 co, have the same

I completely get it OP and I am somewhat concerned that my OH feels the same about me: albeit I work from home self-employed and haven't quite achieved a work:life balance. When I think I've finished I come downstairs into the kitchen and invariably get an email / text / call which means I'm not in the room at all. I want to be able to participate in family time but it's just not always possible.

I would gently encourage him to stay in the car until he's done, so when he comes inside the house you can both relax, and it doesn't feel like you're having to share him with work? The offer of a coffee / tea through his car window might help. I really feel for you both though: office hours don't seem to mean a thing to clients these days.

But then you'd be pissed off because he wouldn't be anywhere near walking in the front door for another 90 minutes plus?

But if he finished his calls at work before he came home, he’d be home much later than he is now depending on how long the commute is. He could be home an hour later than he is now?

I’d much prefer him to utilise his commute time to finish off work and have 15 mins when he gets in to wrap things up, than wait for another hour before he arrived home. Especially if it’s because you want some adult company.

I’m guilty of this but I always feel bad when I’m on a call when my DD gets in the car, but it is 3pm and I work until 5 so she’s lucky to get a lift and I’m a single parent, he’s not. I agree with you but I also find it handy to use drive home to call colleagues / my staff and it’s hard to end calls sometimes. But yeah after 12hrs he needs to learn to say enough and just pretend he’s cut off if he can’t get rid! (I jest)

Ok fair enough I was being facetious. Sorry.
I want him to be able to switch off from work in a wider sense. The walking in on the phone is just a symptom.

I think you're being ridiculous

I wish the lazy sob l was married to was this dedicated to his job

No doubt you enjoy the fruits of his significant labour

Get a grip

Thats okay, I can understand that. It must be difficult for you feeling like he’s never switched off and fully focussed on family life.

I completely understand where you’re coming from. Is this every day? Does. He ever come in and just say hello? I wouldn’t get aggy about it (initially at least) as he’s probably worried about his workload etc blah but he needs better boundaries and organisation. Those moments can set the scene for an evening but I suppose it depends how old your kids are.

If he were coming home from a shift at Tesco he certainly wouldn't be on work calls. You have to take the low with the high.

😂

Agree, jeez....

I get it, but if 30 mins is the max you're being silly

Poor sod. I imagine he wants to stop work too.

People who blame workers for having to work either don’t work themselves or have very different types of job.

Sorry but you’re being a jerk. I do this all the time - would rather see my children while i am on a call (as soon as I can) rather than sit in a car because my wife/husband doesn’t like me being on a call!

You do know that sometimes life/work doesn't have cut off points.
It's sad but if you need the money...