Husband walking into the house still on work call

[Barktip]

DH works long hours, has an hour + drive commute and always has work on the brain.
something that has been riling me is that he will use the commute to make phone calls that he then continues as he walks into the house.
I don’t know why it winds me up so much-it just seems rude to me and the kids
He will say that the alternative is sitting on the drive to finish the call which is marginally better but really I want him to acknowledge that what can’t fit into a 12 hour working day should probably be left for another time and that he needs a division between work and home.
(predictive typing just suggested divorce instead of division which might be quite appropriate!)
what should I say to him (if anything?)

Yabu

Some jobs require long hours and some responsibilities can't just wait til the next working day.

I regularly have to do work calls on the way home and log in to do more work once DC's in bed.

YABU!

YANBU. It's rude. I'd find it incredibly annoying. A friend of mine did this once when visiting, walked into my home on their phone and continued their call. We are no longer friends, it was a bit of a lightbulb moment.
He should stay in his car to finish his calls. It's the equivalent of someone putting their hand up at you to indicate don't speak I'm busy imo.
Workaholics make awful partners ime.

Same here, annoys me. If I’ve been away from anyone either with work, them at school, or me just out/ away, when I’m back in the house I’m back and if I need to ring someone and I hadn’t the chance I tell everyone I’m going to have to. Yadnbu (imo!)

If you work full time & the kids are at school now long exactly have you been alone with the children??

his job bringing in 75% of your family income, Is obviously demanding. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Listen when I walk in and you want ‘adult company’ that isn’t happening. Either I am 100% focussed on the kids to make the most of the time they are awake or I am decompressing and can’t do adult chitchat.
I remember from mat leave how dreary it is being with small kids all day but when I walk in from work if my other half wanted to immediately talk to/at me my brain would melt. I reserve what little I have of my energy and my sanity for my kids after a long work day. Sometimes I’ll ruffle DH’s hair or give him a quick peck to indicate that I know he’s there but he knows and I know that I am not up for ‘adult company’ at that point.
And when it’s DH walking in and I am at home it’s the same.

What time is this?

I'm with you OP. When he's nearing home he needs to wrap up the call. In fact my employer tells us no calls in the car but the time can be useful.

Speak to him and ask him to be present when home.

I finish at 5pm

Except everynight this week I have worked hours and hours later than that and some of that has to be done at home, long conversations with a range of multi agencies into the evening. Ive just finished for tonight for example, thats nearly 4 hours on top of my day

Its like that most days.

Its stressful enough without your partner badgering you and giving you more pressure.

If only all employers were like yours...

If you don’t need the money then maybe he could take a lower paid less stressful job. How do you think he would feel about the idea?

Just ask him to stay in the car until he has finished his call then come into the house

What a ridiculous post and clearly indicates someone who doesn't work on or have a relationship with someone in aa professional role where you work for decent money but the offset is the hours are as required.

I would hate for my DH to work 12 hour days and be still on a work call at the end of 12 hours. I’m totally with you OP. Luckily for me my DH would also hate that so turned down a promotion at work last year to make sure he still has lots of family time.

I think you're being really selfish. He's working long hours in an office, has a long commute, and is still working when he gets home. And you're complaining that it doesn't suit you?! It's his home too.

I feel sorry for the children, can't even speak to their Dad when he walks in the door.
My SIL does the same thing but it is only to make himself look important.

Is he talking loudly all over the house and/or shushing you? I think it's really rude when people get home and ignore you.
He needs to finish that phone call in his car - but out of interest, does he work for an employer that doesn't approve of driving and calling? I know of a few where that isn't allowed at all, not even hands free.

I’m assuming he’s in a well paid senior role?

my DH is like this - we always joke that he lives to work and I work to live. I knew that when I married him and I knew that when we had kids. He is very hands on with the kids but he works long hours and he is always ‘on’ so I have definitely picked up that slack

if he’s always been like this I don’t think you can expect him to change

Sit down and sort out what you're actually unhappy about in your life and marriage, because I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that it isn't actually this utterly absurd complaint.

You're so eager for his company at the end of the day that you'd rather he stay at the office for an extra hour and a half to ensure he doesn't have to take any calls on the way home? Give your head a wobble, because that's nonsensical. He wants to escape the office after a long day and be as efficient with his time as possible, and it's equally his home. While I understand the pent-up feeling of being home with kids all day that you're describing, your feelings don't override his needs and wants.

Ridiculous.

So many responses written by women who are SAHMs or don't have demanding jobs evidently.

After a long day, hour commute & what sounds like long hours well into the evening, I think her partner would rather take off his shoes and sit in his house, than in the dark in his car.

OP says he should stay at work & finish the call, while she chills at home presumably.

I bet he earns most of the household income too.

Women like OP are very annoying & I'm female!

If he's complaining about work life balance and stress, next time he mentions it, ask him how much his life is worth? It's certainly worth more than £xxx (whatever he is paid). So why is he letting a job take away what little spare time he has? If he's not getting a salary commensurate to the life he's giving up, then it's on him to make a change. If he doesn't make a change, he loses the right to complain.

I'm with you OP.

My partner stays on the drive whilst he finishes work calls.

Never had to ask him to, but then I guess it's easier for him too - avoids the noise of the dog/kids greeting him.

As long as he doesn’t come in on a call expecting you all to be silent and goes off into a room on his own to complete the call, I think it’s fine. If he expects you all to pretend you are not at home, then I’d make so much noise that he would retreat to the car to complete the call

That was the DH's offered alternative, but OP says she doesn't like that either.

You’re right op, it does sound pathetic.