Being sent a sympathy card with inappropriate comments

[notedbiscuits]

This person is a former friend and colleague. She has done this practice of sending sympathy cards to people she hasn’t spoken to in years. Again with unsympathetic comments. I know she looked through the death messages in the local rag.

The thing - card about a relative that I lost in January. Hardly anyone knew about the death.

The message is inappropriate and upsetting. Not spoken to her in 9 years as I got fed up with her racist attitude.

On a few occasions she has turned up to funerals sitting near the back. Again why?

She’s 73, married.

I don’t think I’m the one to tell her that stop doing this hurtful things.

What on earth were they thinking?! That's beyond horrible.

Did anyone ever respond to them? I would have struggled not to lash out a little.

"is this woman single?"

What is the significance of her marital status? Anyway, it says in the first post that "She’s 73, married."

That's the kind of thing I thought the OP was about but it isn't.

Because single women are, obviously, unhinged. Comes from their pure unrivaled envy of all the 'happily married' people

That's not what ushers are for. They welcome the guests and make sure everyone is seated and comfortable, they're not bouncers.

If ushers tried to turn away regular congregation members who weren't formally invited to the wedding, I imagine the clergy would have something to say about that and the ushers wouldn't like it - church weddings are public events.

There’s no such thing as a private service. Church services are open to the public. Anyone can attend.

Maybe her tech skills have moved on since you last spoke with her 9 years ago.

Maybe other people don't loathe her and mentioned this to her in passing

The opening paragraph of the article you links states:

"Generally, funerals are public events and there isn’t a way to legally ban someone. But as the organiser, you do have the right to ask a difficult relative not to come"

🙄

You'd report a 73 year old woman to the police for sending a condolence card that says grief gets easier with time?

Which bit is malicious?

That sounds clumsy, but quite possibly well meant. It can be very difficult to find the right words for a sympathy card.

I've reached peak Mumsnet 🤣🤣🤣

I love this pop up advertisement I'm getting mid thread

Apropos of nothing, have you ever been charged with wasting police time?

Responses would have been very different if you'd shared her message in your OP. YABVU. She's not saying or doing anything unusual compared to lots of other older people. I can't believe she's been told not to attend events. Poor woman.

GabriellaMontez is correct

Agree. And now the woman is excluded from events.

No, weirdly enough.
If she's writing malicious comments to recently bereaved relatives and there is a clear pattern of this, it's a malicious communication. There's an act, there, that I shared the link to. It's even called the malicious communications act.

What was the malicious comment?

This

Ah it sounded from the OP there was a pattern of spiteful and offensive comments. If it's just badly worded that's obviously different. Strewth. I've clearly spent too long on Mumsnet

So this woman has taken the time to buy, write and post you a condolence card basically saying grief gets easier with time… what exactly is the issue?

It sounds like a few of you have ganged up on her and just decided she’s nasty whereas in fact she may be nothing more than a little unconventional.

When I was young I used to frequent the local night club almost every Saturday night. The bouncers knew us but we were still terrified of them, they were stern, no banter types. But I'll never forget when my friend died and I saw 3 of them standing together at the back of the church at the funeral. I thought it was one of the nicest kindest things. They werent even from the town. Not relevant here but I just remembered! The culture where I am is everyone is welcome at a funeral.