Baby Reindeer creator is provoking his stalker

[jengachampion]

SPOILERS AHEAD
I’ll preface this by saying I had a male stalker for 7 years. I moved, changed jobs, and deleted all social media in that time. I’m also a survivor of SA, as well as assault after being spiked, similar to RG in the show.

It completely baffles me that he would completely replicate his stalker down to physical likeness, occupation, accent, exact correspondences and references like hanging curtains.

He is clearly not too worried about people finding the real person, as well as her potentially contacting him again.

If it were me telling my story, I would change all identifying details of both of us, because I would NEVER want to go through it again. RG telling his story this way is hugely weird to me and really speaks to the theme of mutual obsession he hints at in the show.

Apparently he did say that the stalker would not recognise herself from what she is portrayed as by the actress.

Could sy the same about an true life stories

Indeed. The real Martha has been found and she is commenting about it on her Facebook. I would say the likeness is quite strong too.

As Suusue says... apparently its emotionally true but all identifiable characteristics have been changed.

He has said that in interviews but in reality the irl stalker is carbon copy of the Martha character. Her middle name is even Martha on her fb profile

I've seen the real "Martha" FB account and twitter too and the resemblance is strong and the fact it was so very easy for her to be found indicates that she wasn't well disguised at all in Baby Reindeer. Her previous stalking victim has also been identified. Other than the name she's barely changed in BR!

Unless it was some kind of double bluff?!! Which backfired....

What grinds my gears is everyone is talking about finding Martha and no one seems to care about the man who actually raped and abused him...

@RespiceFinemKarma true, although they have found him

I think this is because he has explicitly denied that the older rapist is any of the people that have been suggested, so there is nothing to go on. But he hasn’t done that with the woman who is undeniably Martha

Tbh I wasn't sure if the whole thing was some sort of elaborate "hoax".

Unless my stalker was dead or serving life in prison (and even then), I would never have made the show.

I'm being spammed about BR everywhere I look and it's making me very sceptical.

She has been identified.

She knows it's her and is speaking out.

There's no way she wouldn't have recognised herself. The depiction in the show couldn't be anymore of a clearer depiction of her. A quick scroll of her Facebook shows everything is the same.

I agree it was a very strange thing to do.

"Martha" is obviously mentally ill, Netflix shouldn't have allowed this to happen.

I don't think Richard Gadd is coming off as likeable or sympathetic at all.

This was a strange and cruel thing to do.

And yes, he uses her to get fame and all the while admits he kind of liked it (not the same threat as stalking has for most women as female stalkers don't usually kill their victims) and has encouraged more of the same behaviour by giving her a public "poke". But hey, we all know his name now.

I'm all for recognising male stalking but it is a hugely sexist approach which reeks of male privilege.

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. - Margaret Atwood

Probably the only way to ensure greatest chance of non-identification was for it to be fully fictionalised. Him not playing himself. It's his story to tell his way but, given we're dealing with real people in the real world, was always carrying the risk of people being accused (falsely or correctly). Curiosity in viewers is understandable.

Well it was a risk but now loads of us have watched this and heard of this writer and the series has been wildly successful. I had never heard of him before. A risky trade off.

Exactly this. A typical female victim of a male stalker wouldn’t do this because it would literally threaten her life. The fact that he has done it reeeally speaks to the fact that he was also cautioned by the police and it was not a totally one sided thing.

The public are now stalking and harrassing the real life Martha, plus looking for the rapist/man- but there’s not enough to go on.

The irony.

With Gadd saying “please don’t look for them”.

If the rapist is who people are saying he is, RG hasn't changed him at all.

I agree though, he should have fictionalised it all.

Did she speak out about the series? Where?

I'm starting to wonder if the whole thing was set up in order that people would hunt the real life characters down, you know as some sort of meta-commentary about life/persona in the internet age.

He tweeted that it was not him and also denied it was a few other people who were being suggested. Although he has recently ‘stepped down’ from his current job

It was so obviously this. He changed almost nothing but simply said he had. There was definitely a very unhealthy co-dependency with her.

Same is true for his portrayal of his abuser, although I think he's been cleverer there. Now the whole world knows who it is and the abuser can do nothing about it without drawing attention to his own actions. Gadd could never have proved it in court, due to the nature of the abuse and the fact he kept returning. But he has put himself in control.

He comes across as having already been a very damaged man before he met 'Martha' or 'Darrien'.

I actually really like the depiction of the multifaceted nature of stalking

I often come across stalking victims due to my line of work and often they aren't perfect victims (male or female). Often the fact that they might have not shut it down earlier, instigated some form of contact means that people are scared of coming forward because of fear of being blamed. Similar to the fact in dv relationships it's common for people to go back, for the victim to instigate some form of contact or not to have behaved impeccably throughout.

It was really refreshing to have an honest portrayal of it that might help normalise the fact that people rarely act perfectly but it doesn't mean they shouldn't seek help.

It would be amazing if people immediately spotted people with either dv or stalking potential and cut it off at first contact, but it's simply not how the world works

I think this too. It's drama as real-life revenge and therapy. Like 'I May Destroy You' but not as brilliant.