to not want to leave nine month old for hen party?

[Henpartydilemma]

I’m supposed to be going to a hen party on Saturday for 48 hours. It is in another UK city but a long distance away and so I’m flying. The flight is just over an hour and the airport is one hour on one side and thirty minutes on the other.

From the off, I’ve not wanted to be this far from my baby. Originally, I was going to take her with me and stay with a relative who would kindly care for her in the day but a change in circumstances meant this is no longer possible. It is also logistically not possible for DH to come. The only workable solution is for me to leave DD for 48 hours which is what I planned reluctantly. She’s spent a good chunk of time away from me and I’ve even done a night or two away but always very nearby in distance and never more than one night (less than 24 hours). This feels totally different and I felt uncomfortable initially at the thought of leaving her and this has now built up to really worried. She will be with very competent DH and have a lovely time, I just can’t bear the thought of being so far away and can’t sleep because I feel so worried and upset about it.

The hen is for a very close friend and I am bridesmaid. Another bridesmaid has a younger baby and is still coming and everyone else is child free. Is it normal to feel like this and what can I do?

@Henpartydilemma I’m going on my own hen do this weekend (3 nights abroad) and feel the same as you, albeit I also feel really excited about it too! My daughter is 18 months old and this will be the first time I’ve left her overnight. She will be with her dad so I am holding onto that fact when I think about leaving her. Do what is right for you, and if you go I hope you have an amazing time.

I felt very similar to you when I left my child for the first time, i dreaded something that I should’ve been looking forward to. I had dreams about going, would wake up panicking etc. I went away for the 3 nights abroad with a group of friends and absolutely loved it. Honestly, go and enjoy. I bet you’d regret it if you don’t x

We left ours when she was 9-10 months old with grandparents so we could go to a wedding 7/8 hours drive hours for 3 nights. She was totally fine, but I can understand your anxiety. There is no right or wrong what ever you decide.

I’m surprised at the messages here. OP if you don’t feel comfortable or don’t want to leave your baby then don’t. You are allowed to put you and your baby first. Your friend should understand. I personally wouldn’t have been able to go at nine months as I was still BF my baby to sleep, so really I’m surprised at the quantum of messages here saying it’s so easy to go off for two nights at 9 months - it’s really not! And regardless, even if it is physically easy to leave baby because they’re bottle fed, back to my original point - it’s still down to YOU and YOUR preference. Your friend should understand. Best of luck xx

It's perfectly natural to be worried about leaving your little one but they are going to be in very safe hands, with their daddy. Try not to stress and just go and let your hair down for the 2 nights. It's only a relatively short period of time and will fly by once you're there. Just think of the positives, rather than the negatives. You will be making happy memories with your friends and then will get the excitement of coming home to your babu and DH. Enjoy it!!

Could your DH follow with the baby after? So you're not so far away for so long? Also if anything did happen which is highly unlikely you're still in the UK so would be able to get home quickly

Hi. I’m at the opposite end of the parenting scale to you. Children all grown up and left the nest. Felt all your emotions. But 48 hours in the scheme of things isn’t much. You have a whole lifetime together. Go off and enjoy yourself. Your hubby sounds more than capable. You’ll be refreshed when you return and ready to get stuck in again. We all need a break from our children . It’s good for you and them. Enjoy your wedding

Mine is 13 and have rarely left her over the years. But age 9 months and again at 1year 9 months; I had to attend university mandatory courses involving a week away each year at Nottingham University. So she was with grandparents for almost a week and transferred to great aunt/uncle on last night due to parents having booked to go away themselves. She was fine 🙂

YANBU
I didn't want to leave my 6 Yr old to go to hen. 9mths is really young. Could you have another night out with bride yourself.

This thread has been reignited a bit which has reminded me to update - I went, missed baby incredibly but did enjoy myself and am glad I did it. Won’t do it again anytime soon though!

Good choice Op. Glad you went.

I'm delighted you went, glad you had a great time OP

@beanii

“
Use the time and money to go away with your little family”

but she’s with her “little family “ all the time though. What about her friends? It’s so important to not neglect friendships once you become a wife and mum