Accidentally stirred the pot and don’t know how to make things right

[pleasehelpagirlout62]

Friend 1 messaged me a couple of weeks ago something she shouldn’t have commented on about Friend 2. Something she know Friend 2 wouldn’t of liked.

I have been having a long chat with Friend 2 and stupidly said Friend 1 had been chatting to me about that last week. She then wants the whole details, I feel awful and send her our messages as she wanted to know and now she is raging with Friend 1.

I feel like a total idiot and stirred the pot. Now I feel like they are going to fall out because of me, and that Friend 1 is going to fall out with me because I sent our texts to Friend 2.

What have I done! Why did I do this! Someone help me rectify this please

Don't expect them to be your friends for long op
Bad form!!!!

I'd focus on trying to repair the friendship with friend 2 anyway, friend 1 is also a bad friend.. if she talks about friend 2 to you what does she say behind your back?

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're late teens/early 20s and your prefrontal cortex is some way off being fully formed. Sadly, I don't think there's any coming back from this. Even if you apologise and are forgiven, neither friend will really trust you again. For future reference, if someone is talking about another friend in a way you think isn't appropriate, there are lots of gentle and polite ways to say, "Sorry, I don't feel good talking about X behind her back and I don't think she'd want us discussing this," and if you have engaged in a bit of idle gossip, you can go ahead and not mention it to the subject of the gossip!

Before you knew it, you had shared the actual messages

Amazing

This

’accidentally’ my a*se 🙄

Oh, come on OP. You acted deliberately and I assume you are testing your defence out on MN hoping to get some ideas of how to get yourself out of the shit you put yourself in 🙄

Jealousy of friend 1 or wanting to hurt friend 2. Which is it?? Or is there another reason you acted like a snake?

Is this a pattern of yours?

This! It's so two faced & just why? Also all the faux "I'm such an idiot, it was accidental" is a load of horsehit & wouldn't wash with me for a moment

Grow up would be my advice & stop causing unnecessary drama ffs

Holy fuck. I'd never speak to you again if you shared private messages.

Mean Girls vibes.
I'd be annoyed if I was friend 1 and if I was friend 2 I'd be wondering why friend 1 was so comfortable to talk about me to you.

It wasn't accidental. What you did was stupid and shitty, you have knowingly upset both your friends and there's nothing for you to do now but apologise and if they want to patch things up with you that's up to them. Be prepared for neither of them to trust you again though.

There's not really a way to make this right unfortunately, it might be one of those things you chalk up to experience and hopefully learn from and never repeat.

I’m not sure if you’re being serious or disingenuous? How can it possibly be not intentional when she not only told but then followed it up by sending the actual messages?

It might be worth reading up on, or doing a course in, assertiveness - because sharing someone else's messages is a real breach of trust. I would say less than 1% of people would just hand over someone else's messages without question when asked - this is really unusual behaviour. I think it is worth recognising you have acted in a highly socially unacceptable way and take steps to not do this again. "Sorry they're private messages" "We discuss lots of other things in these texts which I'm not comfortable sharing with you" "I can't share somebody else's private information" are all things you could, and should have said, instead of handing over the texts. But never mind, you made a mistake, we all do. Just try to learn for next time

How old are you? 12?

Friend 1 shouldnt have gossiped. Friend 2 told you her business because she chose to, it was not friend 1's place to say anything. At least 2 now knows that 1 cant be trusted.

And lets face it, anyone who gossips to you will gossip about you so be careful what you share with her.

Well, sounds like you've been shit stirring and now you've realised you've got to lick the spoon.
Own up, apologise and go from there.

You aren’t an idiot.
You’re a shit disturber.
Own it.

Friend 1 is the real villain here I assume she was saying some pretty nasty things about friend 2 or why would you of relayed the texts.

However you didn’t have to take screenshots, I would of just shut the conversation down.

I can only assume the posters saying they’d never trust you again if you were their friend, like to slag their friends off without the danger of being rumbled by a mutual friend. Which is hardly saintly.

People ask me what I come to MN for. It's this. It's all about this.

Ha ha, happy to help 😄 I am having a laugh and my comment is obviously slightly tongue in cheek, but people are acting like she shagged both of her pals husbands! Though yeah, typical mumsnet.

Were we meant to congratulate her and say "yeah please f over all your other acquaintances, why not publish private texts online like some sort of Facebook vigilante"?

Looks like the OP is back 😂

why was we mentioning it and basically begged me for the messages so I sent them. I don’t know why I did it

Because you’re a shit stirrer who likes to try to play the innocent after the fact.

No need for any Freudian analysis here. Often the simplest explanation is the correct one.

Shit stirring and a betraying a friends trust is shitty.

Pretending it was an accident and not taking responsibility, is just taking the piss out of your friends and shows no accountability.

Why would you think shagging their husbands is the only reason people would think their friend wasn’t a friend at all?

Is that the only line your have for friends? You accept any behaviour up to shagging your husband?

As I said previously, I'm really not being particularly serious in my comments, just find it really amusing how many people are completely up in arms over a daft mistake! Have to say though, it's quite surprising just how many people seem to speak badly of others over texts. All texts, online posts, photos, have the potential to be screenshotted. So why put yourself in that position in the first place? The messages should have been kept private, but the friend shouldn't have been bitching about her other friend in the first place. Anyway, as I said, don't particularly care and have already wasted too much time typing this out!