Accidentally stirred the pot and don’t know how to make things right

[pleasehelpagirlout62]

Friend 1 messaged me a couple of weeks ago something she shouldn’t have commented on about Friend 2. Something she know Friend 2 wouldn’t of liked.

I have been having a long chat with Friend 2 and stupidly said Friend 1 had been chatting to me about that last week. She then wants the whole details, I feel awful and send her our messages as she wanted to know and now she is raging with Friend 1.

I feel like a total idiot and stirred the pot. Now I feel like they are going to fall out because of me, and that Friend 1 is going to fall out with me because I sent our texts to Friend 2.

What have I done! Why did I do this! Someone help me rectify this please

Some things for you to really think about are how you feel/felt about friend 1, how you feel/felt about friend 2, how you feel/felt about them being friends. I don't think it's accidental that you said anything and, while it's difficult for anyone to know your true motives, are you jealous of either of them or their relationship.

You send friend 2 private messages. Yes you deserve the fall out. What a shit friend you are.

Someone help me rectify this please

The only person who can do this is you and I dont rate your chances.

You will have to make a grovelling apology to both and really consider why you did this in the first place. How can they ever trust you ever again? I think you are jealous of their friendship and thats why you decided to sabotage it. Own it, admit it and dont do it again going forward, otherwise you will end up with no friends left.

Might have been accidental to let slip in the first place - You could have made up a white lie/been very vague about why you knew. but forwarding the messages as they were written WAS deliberately stirring the pot and you do know that, if you are honest with yourself

Doubt there is anything you can do to make it right now. You'll probably lose both friends

Maybe you did it because you were sick of being in the middle and it was stressing you out @pleasehelpagirlout62

Leave them to it. It wasn’t ideal but this is between them. It’s probably a load of crap about nothing I imagine.

You fucked around and are now finding out. 😂

You should have told a white lie and said you had already deleted the post... and made light of your comment.
Importantly, you should now learn never to repeat a hearsay.

It is very bad manners to repeat anything someone says to you, to another person. Always leave a person to tell another themselves, if they so wish. You are a bad friend as you can not be trusted to keep confidences.

Did you secretly wish to have your friends fall out with each other?

It’s the fact you are trying to act all whoops -a-daisy about when it was really malicious & toxic.

Deliberately accidental?
Stop the faux innocent apologies, you knew exactly what you were doing and now you need to own up and take the consequences.

Agree. Its the ‘ooh silly me I’m SUCH a idiot giggle giggle’ faux naive dizzy teenager act.

You're a shit stirring drama loving terrible friend OP - own it

I had something similar done to me by what I thought were two good friends - I was friend 2 in your situation. Couldn’t trust either of them again after that. I’d be surprised if your friendship group survives - hope you can live and learn for next time not to gossip

It is never right to share private messages. What you should have said to both of them is that if there is an issue with the other they should discuss it. Being in the middle and to friends criticising each other is very difficult. Listen but say you are staying out of it. Hopefully they might forgive you but doubt the friendship will ever be the same

You need to own up to being a shit stirrer. You know exactly what you did and now you don't want to be the bad guy but you are the bad guy in this situation.

I don’t think there was anything accidental or unintentional about your actions . You OWN this shitshow as you deliberately created it

The idea that someone would forward texts from someone else is such a breach of privacy and trust, you deserve your friends to no longer trust you.

Exactly. You forwarded the messages. That’s low!

The person you need to look at here is yourself . You’re minimising what you’ve done by saying it was an accident. No it wasn’t, it was deliberate. Your re saying oh woopsy I’m an idiot, which is again minimising it as some cutesy childish behaviour when if fact it’s vindictive and a horrible way to treat friends and yet I get an undertone here than you’re enjoying it. You say you don’t know why you did it… really? Maybe work that out then. Gave the fact that it wasn’t an accident and that you’ve deliberately done that to two people who are supposed to be your friends. This isn’t an ‘oh dear silly me’ situation.

I think you knew what you were doing. But it’s only just dawned on you that you haven’t been clever enough about the shit stirring and it’s all going to lead back to you

You need to figure out why you wanted them to find out and why you wanted them to argue.

Nothing about what you did was an accident. It was purposeful.

You just need to take an honest look at yourself and figure out why you did it

Then you can offer a genuine apology and if they don't want you to remain friends you just have to respect that.

After having an argument (but it was accusing me and another best friend of both doing something illegal) with my then best friend when I was 24, I'd never have 2 best friends again.

Basically, it can then all get caught up in lies, and deceit.

My issue, was, I was so angry with my best friend of accusing me of something that I told the other best friend she'd accused, partly because I thought she needed to know, but also as she had a young baby and was in a vulnerable position with an abusive boyfriend. I didn't want her to get in trouble and her baby taken into care.

Luckily the other best friend (with baby) was so incensed with first friend that she ended that friendship as did I. The other best friend ended it with me anyway.

Trouble is, in my scenario, was I never knew if the accuser was doing the illegal thing herself (benefit fraud) and doing it to 'get attention' or if the third best friend was lying to both of us and had actually did the fraud herself (the one with the baby).

I'm not speaking to either of them now, years on. I was best friends with the baby one though for years.

Sounds though in your case OP, you've deliberately shit stirred and it's come back to bite you in the bum. Hopefully one or both of them forgives you, but it's a hard lesson to learn. Do not do it again, shit stir but also if you do, don't lie and back track on it.

People appreciate honesty in friends, not two faced liars who betray them.

All you can do is to admit to both friends that you were completely in the wrong for breaking Friend 1's confidence and sharing her messages, knowing that it would cause an argument between the two of them, @pleasehelpagirlout62.

Tell them you know how wrong it was, and that you deeply regret doing it, and that you hope that they can forgive you and learn to trust you again.

If I was either Friend 1 or 2 I would know never to trust you again.

Nothing accidental about it, neither if the friends will trust you now.

Unfortunately op, I think your sadly going to loose both friends after this. Wasn’t intentional I understand. All you can do is apologise

If I was any of them I'd ditch you too, you have shown that you are untrustworthy