Am I wrong to do something I want even though he says I shouldn’t?

[DelilahDelia]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, we don’t live together but see each other as often as we can, which can be hectic as we live 45mins apart, have 4 dc between us and both work full time.
He’s into the gym and bodybuilding and we spend a fair bit of time at the gym together.
I don’t like going to my local gym so I thought I’d quite like to try CrossFit, so signed up for a month to give it a go and see if it was for me. I plan to go when we aren’t together.
it’s caused a massive argument, he doesn’t think I should do it. His points were -
He says it feels like I’m trying to build my own life without him,
I don’t do the things I already should be doing
I don’t have time
I’ll make new friends
I’ll be even more tired when I see him.

I’ve explained that it’s not going to interfere with our time together, but I really don’t want to give it up without trying it and feel he shouldn’t be telling me what I can and can’t do in this way, it was fine for me to go to the gym and do weights. He goes to the gym 5 times a week.
I’m doing it in my spare time and paying for it out of my own money, am I being unreasonable by going and doing it?

Red flags so bright they are blinding you.

He's a real prick, isn't he.

Run as fast as you can

Run away while you’re not in too deep, this guy is a walking red flag.

it’s caused a massive argument, he doesn’t think I should do it. His points were -
He says it feels like I’m trying to build my own life without him,
I don’t do the things I already should be doing
I don’t have time
I’ll make new friends
I’ll be even more tired when I see him.

Red flag!! Who made him your keeper?

Do you really need to ask?

Yeah he put the bunting up there didn't he.

what a twat.

What he is really saying is that he thinks he can control you and you should do as you are told - do you really want to be in a relationship with someone like that? What other aspects of your life does he think he is in charge of?

Goodness gracious, run. Run now.

It's such a massive red flag OP I don't think there is anything salvageable.

Run run run. Controlling much? He sounds awful.

Use all your newfound CrossFit fitness to run very rapidly away from this man.

Seriously, OP, you know exactly what this implies.

I’m in a relationship with similar circumstances (both single parents, 4 kids between us) and similar travel time. He does a martial art twice a day and I do powerlifting. On the days when I’m down to go to the gym and I struggle to get motivated, he’ll say ‘Go, it’ll do you good!’. He’s always right of course. I get a social and mental health benefit from the gym too.
Our relationship isn’t perfect, it’s a challenge living apart and that’s not likely to change any time soon, but in a healthy relationship you support and encourage each other.
Honestly it sounds like he doesn’t want you to improve yourself and he sounds incredibly selfish. He’s telling you who he is, listen!

On the positive side, the cross-fit will help your stamina when you run for the hills…

Crossfit will make you less tired when you see him as your overall fitness will be supercharged, which is also useful for running away from someone - fast

Run. Block. Whatever just don't let him tell you what to do and be glad you aren't financially tied to him. Massive nope and don't look back.

I mean all of it is ludicrous but the friends thing, jeez.

Do it, do it all and I hope you do make new friends. Good luck!

What’s it got to do with him???

Please join and get a new boyfriend!

Massive red flag, he's trying to control you. Run!

A good partner will support you and have your back, it sounds like he’s pretty insecure to be honest. Do your thing and if he can’t deal with it then make some decisions x

Anyone who say "I’ll make new friends" as a negative should be avoided.

I'd tell him you don't want him going to the gym 5 times a week, as you are worried he's 'building his own life'.

Oh wait, No, I'd tell him to crack on and build his own life, doing whatever he wanted because he would no longer be in mine.

He's a controlling twat.

I'd get a treadmill if I were you. Get those running legs ready!

Bloody hell......he's not even trying to hide the fact he's controlling is he?

Wtf?! the only course of action here is ditch this controlling freak and go to the crossfit class. Talking about making friends and having a life without him as negatives is a HUGE red flag

He’s either incredibly needy or controlling.

Neither is an attractive quality ☹️.