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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

C Section disappointment and DH

728 replies

Lessonsinchemistry6 · 24/04/2024 09:24

DD was born on the weekend, I had an easy low risk pregnancy up until the last few weeks when scans flagged issues with the placenta meaning doctors wanted to induce early. We started off with induction but I ended up having a rushed delivery by c section before getting onto the oxytocin drip, this was partly my choice because I had been in the process for 3 days by this point and was so tired and drained I didn’t think I could cope with a long labour. DD was also showing some dips on the monitor and doctors were clear any more signs and we would be going to theatre anyway and I felt it was likely heading this way so I asked for it and declined the drip.

I feel so disappointed with myself for having the c section and I know my DH is disappointed with me as well. I was pretty scared during the op and recovery hasn’t been easy but DH has made comments about taking the easy option and that I can only blame myself for difficulties. He has helped a lot with DD but it’s been hard having to rely on everyone to help me even pick her up. I know subsequent pregnancies will be high risk now as well and it’s less likely I’ll get a ‘natural’ birth although the placenta issues would have put me in a higher risk category I think.

AIBU to feel this way? Im not sure if it’s just baby blues or if I should expect some more emotional support or if I really made the wrong decision.

OP posts:
frecklejuice · 02/05/2024 12:22

How are you doing @Lessonsinchemistry6 ?

Livingtothefull · 02/05/2024 12:57

I have to be frank OP, I have rarely been as horrified by anything on MN as I am by your description of your 'D'H behaviour. A CS is not a 'disappointment' or any kind of failure, and is not in any way taking the easy option, it is major surgery undertaken by many new mothers (including me).

You have been going through all the pain and risks to successfully deliver his child; his role is to support you. Where is his gratitude and respect? To read that you are being treated like this by him at such a sensitive time, actually makes me feel really upset.

I don't think your feelings are just down to baby blues, they are justified. But I think that your 'D'H's behaviour towards you may directly put you at increased risk of postpartum depression. I hope you are able to reach out and get the emotional support you need from anywhere you can...your midwife, GP, family/friends.

Pandorasbox63687 · 02/05/2024 22:30

Congtatualtions on the birth of your baby girl 💐
So let me get this right. You'd been in labour 3 days & DD was showing some dips on the monitor & your husband thinks you took the easy way out by choosing a c section that would've ended in a emergency c section anyway? Sorry he's a complete & utter dick. I wouldn't call major surgery & cutting through 7 layers of tissue an easy option. Smh 😠

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