MIL on holiday over baby due date

[Nushyboots]

So AIBU or more importantly are we being unreasonable?

My hubby and his mother have had a 'good' relationship from what I have seen since we have been together (12 years). However since lockdown her and her husband ( she remarried ages ago ) have become increasingly detached from hubby and his two brothers families, she has gone from popping in or going on little breaks with us all as group to making excuses and avoiding having to spend too much time with us all.

So we are expecting our little bubs in June and she asked what the dates were as said she wants to book a holiday across the due date. I gave her the date, she then messaged hubby and said she has booked holiday across due date with 5 days either side being away. Hubby is really pissed off as this is the 3rd holiday they have been on this year as MIL doesnt work and FIL is semi retired due to health issues ( not managed well Diabetes related issues) He was unhappy when she told him and although my mother has come from overseas to visit and has decided to stay for the birth at the time of the holiday booking we nor MIL knew that she has surprised us with staying for the birth.

She is oblivious that hubby is upset and refuses to engage with her really anymore. He says he isnt even going to tell her when baby arrives if she is away as she obviously doesnt care ( going on holiday to usual hotel in usual resort)

is he being unreasonable? any advice for him?

It is possible that mil spent her youth catering to her children, I know I did, and now she wants to enjoy her life while she’s still in good health.

I did wonder at first if MIL was trying to keep away due to Covid worries or something.. I see reading on that that's not the case.
I feel sorry for you, your husband, & his siblings, keeping the family close while she backs away from her children & grandchildren.
My first MIL sat outside the labour suite ALL day waiting for my firstborn to arrive, & it was lovely for me to know she was close, God Bless her.

I'm wondering if MIL & husband / Partner have talked & decided they want to do their own thing now? Which is their right, of course, just as it's yours not to be there for them when they're older & maybe need help..
Good luck with baby.

The only thing to get is the OP’s narcissism thinking her and her child are the be all and end all.

I couldn't live with the curiosity. I'd have to just ask her "sorry, why did you ask for the due dates and book a holiday 5 days either side?" and wait for a response.

Seems obvious to me why. She's telegraphing that she wants to be completely unavailable to help in any capacity but can pretend it's just because she "can't" since she's on holiday.

I'd still want to hear it from the horse's mouth though.

Very hurtful.

You seem to be reading a different thread. This is about DH and Mil

Maybe the one about DH not wanting his SM invited to the birthday and OP thinking his mother should be prepared to socialise with the OW? I keep coming close to mixing them up.

She's keeping out of the way. Good for her

You may not have the baby anyway on your due date. I went 7-12 days overdue with all 3 of mine. I'd be more concerned as to why she has distanced herself and it seems very deliberate to ask for the due date then book a holiday over the due date. I'd be asking myself what is going on with her and why. All seems a bit odd to me, does she not feel welcome and has done it to get a reaction and raise the issue of why. It doesn't add up to me, is her partner causing the distance? Rather than cause more distance at your end I think everyone should have an honest chat about what's really going on.

Do you mean she purposefully wanted the dates so she could go away when baby was born?

The baby was due in June, I guess its probably been resolved by now

Oh for goodness sake, grow up and suck it up. Clearly, you're jealous they are having another holiday. What difference does it make, is she the midwife/doctor who was supposed to be delivering baby?She can see baby upon her return, what's the matter with you?

Mightily missing the point as so often happens on mumsnet.

I think this is an old thread anyway.

What is the problem?! She's having a lovely later independent life (which I wish for us all). She won't be one of those MILs demanding to watch you give birth, muscling in when you want to be bonding with baby. She'll visit when you're feeling better. Sounds ideal.