MIL on holiday over baby due date

[Nushyboots]

So AIBU or more importantly are we being unreasonable?

My hubby and his mother have had a 'good' relationship from what I have seen since we have been together (12 years). However since lockdown her and her husband ( she remarried ages ago ) have become increasingly detached from hubby and his two brothers families, she has gone from popping in or going on little breaks with us all as group to making excuses and avoiding having to spend too much time with us all.

So we are expecting our little bubs in June and she asked what the dates were as said she wants to book a holiday across the due date. I gave her the date, she then messaged hubby and said she has booked holiday across due date with 5 days either side being away. Hubby is really pissed off as this is the 3rd holiday they have been on this year as MIL doesnt work and FIL is semi retired due to health issues ( not managed well Diabetes related issues) He was unhappy when she told him and although my mother has come from overseas to visit and has decided to stay for the birth at the time of the holiday booking we nor MIL knew that she has surprised us with staying for the birth.

She is oblivious that hubby is upset and refuses to engage with her really anymore. He says he isnt even going to tell her when baby arrives if she is away as she obviously doesnt care ( going on holiday to usual hotel in usual resort)

is he being unreasonable? any advice for him?

Don't you think you should just get on wth your life and let hubby's mum do the same. MILs are wrong when they supposedly 'interfere and wrong when they are absent.

I'm with you OP, if my mum did this I'd be very upset, I can understand why your hubby feels this way. Very odd behaviour IMO, she purposely wants to get away from you during a major life event

Your husband has no business being pissed off and he is being completely unreasonable. Your MIL found love and wants to enjoy her time with her husband. She has raised her children. For heavens sake, why does she have to be there for the birth, she’ll be back within days of it. You MIL’s life isn’t about your husband and his wants anymore. He needs to respect her wish to travel. He has no right to be unhappy that this is their 3rd holiday in a year. He is behaving childishly. Deciding he won’t tell her when the baby is born because “she obviously doesn’t care” simply because she will be away for a few days around the due date 🙄 Is he even mature enough to be a parent?

I don't think her husband has an issue with his mum going on holiday, just that she's purposely booked to go on holiday when her sons about to have a baby, that is odd... they don't work so they can go on holiday anytime but have purposely booked to be away.

As someone whose child was born seriously ill and straight into NICU , my mums support was huge during those first few days.

DH needs to get over himself. She's entitled to a life, and if she wasn't away she'd not be in the delivery room, would she? On the other hand-are you hinting at coersive control on the part of her new partner? If it is, DH may need to get off his high horse and talk to his mum like a grown up-not a sulky teenager.

She’s probably been reading MN and the current trend of no visitors for a month after baby arrives which includes parents and in-laws.

Also not all babies come on their dates. If mine had have been away 5 days either side of the due date they still would have been home for the birth as they were 2 weeks early. My cousin went a good 10 days over her dates.

Don’t see what the issue is, most people are asking how they keep their MIL away and you are complaining. Honestly take it as a blessing and enjoy your time together as a family unit when new baby arrives.

The DH CAN cope with the mum's holiday.

Why does OP say he’s pissed off because it’s her third holiday this year then? What possible difference does it make whether or not she’s in the country?

DFOD.

Sorry what ? Get over it she is entitled to her holiday when she wants
She will see you when she's back
I'd also be careful with what you wish for lots of inlaws are literally over the top

It says this in the OP:

Hubby is really pissed off as this is the 3rd holiday they have been on this year as MIL doesnt work and FIL is semi retired due to health issues ( not managed well Diabetes related issues)

Did you read the OP?

She says he's pissed off it's her 3rd vacation.

Right?! There's so many threads on mom's net about how people don't want their mother-in-law to see the baby until it's 17 months old and then there's this. I swear mothers-in-law can't win.

Exactly my thought! LORDY, all the posts on here about MILs showing up at the hospital with unsolicited advice, hovering, being intrusive! This seems like a breath of fresh air!

I will say that I think that the DH should keep out of his parents' finances. Let them manage their own lives.

Mil gets to do what she wants! Like me she has more years behind her than in front of her and she wants to live her life to the fullest, not stay stuck in a rut.

Op mentioned mol not spending as much time with her children in general.

You don't see it as an issue that the MIL asked for the due date specifically so she could make sure she's not in the country? 😂and told them that?

It's not normal 😂

Most people would be happy with someone in the middle, not either extreme 😂

No contact!!! Yes, you are a bit sensitive.

Ah, gotcha.