DH offered EX-wife his jacket

[adviceaunt]

name changed to protect identity, this has been playing on my mind for a while, at a family wedding earlier this year i attended with my DH. his Ex-wfie was also present.

while we were outside standing around waiting for photos, ex-wife who does not have a partner was stood on her own.

my DH went over to her and offered her his jacket as she appeared cold.

a little later when i managed to get him up for a dance he kept glancing over to where she was sitting and i did pull him up saying stop looking at ex-wife. he denied this and said he was keeping an eye on his DS (29) who is single and on his own. i did say, he's a grown adult..

AIBU thinking he should't have done these things?

thanks... food for thought there. i do not feel our replationship is broken etc, but like any marriage there are deal breakers, this is not one but i do agree its something i need to work on.

i have no intention of controlling him and telling him what he can and can't wear, so i have to learn to let it wash over me. if he wants to look a dick, then thats up to him.

you are correct, i also stated i'd changed my name for a reason too. i was curious on peoples take on this incident, nothing more and nothing less.

if this happened on sunday would peoples advice be different do you think? I've repeated over and over it was an observation of what happened..

some useful comments have been made, theres always room for improvement in any relationship good or bad.

I don't feel that offering a jacket is highly intimate thing, for me it is just a help between family/friends/people who know each other well. Unless there is some history with massive missteps from her, I don't see the issue.

it hasn't!

at no point have i said its been playing on my mind! i have explained im now to the MN and after seeing the advice to some threads, one thread made me think of this incident and i was simply curious as to what MN would have to say on matter..

its purely as ive said over and over, curiosity just to see what comments i got! and as ive said, some helpful things have come from it, but it doesnt play on my mind, i dont go to bed every night worried about it.

its a post about something that happened and i just remembered and wanted to know what MN thought.

i have not been surprised by the comments

Not the same.You'd offer a stranger a coat if they were clearly cold (and you were sure they wouldn't make off with it). You wouldn't straighten their tie.

Would you offer a stranger you coat? I'm not sure about that. I'd think it was a bit weird if I was the stranger TBH.

eh?

i give up... my original post never mentioned playing on my mind.. ive explained and explained...

ive been bombarded with question upon question and i may have slipped up somewhere

the wedding was sunday not months ago, i changed the date because ive posted about it on other threads.

not months ago, not 4 months ago.

sunday! are we all happy now... MN is vile... its toxic... litterally nasty

this has been playing on my mind for a while

That is directly copied and pasted from your OP

I'm so confused what is actually going on

Wouldn't walk up to a stranger and say "you look cold, would you like to borrow my coat?" But if I was talking to them and they were visibly frozen, and I didn't need my coat, I'd offer. If, as I said, I didn't think they'd then scoot off with it.

MN is vile... its toxic... litterally nasty yes it can be all them things.
But i dont think you liked the truth.
But you are happy now so it was not that bad was it.
Lets hope he dont lend her his gloves for winter.

I don't really think the jacket is an issue per se, but I notice both on this thread and your other one, you describe yourself as "stuck in the middle" of this family, when, if I understand the relationships correctly, you're really only quite tangential to the stepdaughter and her wedding. As the third wife of this man, and not related by blood to any other person present, it's hard to see how anyone except your DH would really be concerned with your feelings one way or the other.

I don't want to say yabu, but I do think if you felt this uncomfortable both before and after the wedding, the person whose attitude towards you is a problem has to be him - in other words, this isn't about the wedding or the jacket or even the ex-wife, but about how central your importance seems to be in his life more generally. I know you say your relationship is solid, but your decision to start multiple threads here seems to say otherwise. I hope you figure it out. It's horrible feeling insecure.

This thread has been a wild ride

And oh no it touched her BARE ARMS

This

YABU. HTH.

It all depends on your Husband and their relationship. My husband is on good terms with his ex wife and this is probably the kind of thing he would do without even thinking how it would look. But from another person, this may be odd. If my ex husband did that to me it would be very odd!!