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Original poster

DP wants to loan money from me

258 replies

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 19:47

DP’s business is going through a rough patch, he has outstanding invoices that are due to be paid in 3- 6 months that will get him back on track.

He is running out of money to live and run his business and has asked me to assist him financially until he gets paid and will then reimburse me. Amount as of yet, unknown.

We have been together 3 years, don’t live together and had our ups and downs. He’s struggling with depression due to his situation but also not able or willing to support me in ways I need, like emotionally and physically, because of this.

He has lied to me about his financial position in the past. Exaggerated his income and net worth to impress me at the beginning. Would I be crazy to loan him money?

OP posts:
Farmwifefarmlife · 21/04/2024 20:34

Depends how much it is but Tesco happily gave me a credit card for £5800 I only asked for £4k to cover a new car as was cheaper than financing and with 0% interest for 28 months. I have limited income and haven’t borrowed before. Might be worth checking?

CatHerderSupreme · 21/04/2024 20:34

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:26

He has borrowed from an ex before and paid them back, he tells me.

He has a habit of spending big once the cash comes in but is adamant he has learnt his lesson this time. Plus the invoice is very large so would last for a long time.

Show quote history

But what does the ex say? And why are they an ex…

Banks definitely understand complicated invoices, so he must be lying to you again.

I wouldn’t give him a penny - you won’t get it back.

How was he planning to live on no income for a whole year anyway? I’m sure we’d all like to know the answer to that one!

CadyEastman · 21/04/2024 20:34

everythinglooksbetterpaintedblack · 21/04/2024 20:31

He needs to pay his tax is my bet.

And if he owns his own home they're probably threatening bankruptcy.

Definitely don't loan and don't let him move on with you either. Sounds like he's going to steal your money and your joy.

IncompleteSenten · 21/04/2024 20:35

You would be incredibly stupid to do this.
The reason he can't get finance is because he's too big a risk.

He's hardly likely to tell you he never paid his ex back is he?

Greywitch2 · 21/04/2024 20:39

Don't give him a penny.

And find yourself someone else, love. You say yourself he doesn't support you either emotionally or physically and you don't live together.

Just dump him.

ClareBlue · 21/04/2024 20:39

If it's true with the ex then he didn't learn about cash flow then so why it is going to be different this time. Wonder if her recollection is the same as his on how it all panned out.

Original poster
Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:44

ClareBlue · 21/04/2024 20:39

If it's true with the ex then he didn't learn about cash flow then so why it is going to be different this time. Wonder if her recollection is the same as his on how it all panned out.

I did think to find her and ask her about it but I suppose that shows a lack of trust on my part if he finds out I asked.
They parted ways as they had different life goals, very amicable from what he told me and it was actually only a short relationship. Which makes it seem odd she lent such a large amount of money.

OP posts:
RandomButtons · 21/04/2024 20:45

If no one will loan him the money and he can’t get anything in now by hustling new contracts or extra work or something then he does not have a viable business.

Don’t lend it to him. Speaking as a small business owner myself. He hasn’t learnt cash flow management. He needs a business loan from a bank, and if banks won’t stump up then that’s all you need to know.

Peonies12 · 21/04/2024 20:46

Why do you even have to ask. Run a mile

TheBlueRoad · 21/04/2024 20:47

This reply has been deleted

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IncompleteSenten · 21/04/2024 20:49

Come on. You can't possibly be this naive? Everything you are saying he's told you absolutely screams con artist

betterangels · 21/04/2024 20:50

ARichtGoodDram · 21/04/2024 19:52

What kind of business is he running where invoices get paid in 3-6 months time?

Given that he’s lied to you about finances before it would be a no for me. If his business is good then he could borrow money from a bank.

Yes, this.

Doesn't make sense to me about the invoices. That's such a long time. Would be impossible to budget.

TheBlueRoad · 21/04/2024 20:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Trickabrick · 21/04/2024 20:51

RandomButtons · 21/04/2024 20:45

If no one will loan him the money and he can’t get anything in now by hustling new contracts or extra work or something then he does not have a viable business.

Don’t lend it to him. Speaking as a small business owner myself. He hasn’t learnt cash flow management. He needs a business loan from a bank, and if banks won’t stump up then that’s all you need to know.

This! If you’re his last resort then it’s not looking good for his business.

pinkyredrose · 21/04/2024 20:52

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:00

He says he can’t get a loan as he’s had no income for the last year as he gets paid in lump sums for larger invoices as that’s how the business works. There are dry patches. I’ve suggested credit cards to bridge the gap and invoice finance but he says the invoices are so complicated that banks won’t loan… so basically I am his only option to get through this.

How can the invoices be so compliant that a bank can't deal with them? 🙄

Don't lend the money! What would he do if you weren't around?

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 21/04/2024 20:52

If nobody wants to loan him money, it's because he either doesn't repay it back or takes the piss repaying it back.

Don't do it.

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/04/2024 20:53

Lenders will not lend where they know there is absolutely no chance of getting money back.

Therefore he is absolutely broke, has nothing worth anything, they will not touch him. So nor should you.

What he needs to do is get a job, earn enough to save sufficient to re-start his business, with a 'float' and credit to carry him through and as a ltd co. where he can pay himself a wage that he lives on, rather than treating company income as personal funds and spaff the lot the moment it hits his account.

LookItsMeAgain · 21/04/2024 20:53

Can I suggest that if you plan to loan him any sort of serious money, before you do, pay for an accountant to go through his books. Also make sure that you have a repayment plan done up and that he agrees with that repayment plan.

betterangels · 21/04/2024 20:54

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:26

He has borrowed from an ex before and paid them back, he tells me.

He has a habit of spending big once the cash comes in but is adamant he has learnt his lesson this time. Plus the invoice is very large so would last for a long time.

Show quote history

No one knows if the invoice will even get paid on time. Never bank on money you (general) haven't got.

I wouldn't lend him any money. But then I wouldn't trust him at all since he has lied about finances.

QueenBitch666 · 21/04/2024 20:54

I can't believe you have to ask 🙄

Spirallingdownwards · 21/04/2024 20:55

Throwaway555 · 21/04/2024 20:00

He says he can’t get a loan as he’s had no income for the last year as he gets paid in lump sums for larger invoices as that’s how the business works. There are dry patches. I’ve suggested credit cards to bridge the gap and invoice finance but he says the invoices are so complicated that banks won’t loan… so basically I am his only option to get through this.

These are all lies.

Only lend him what you are prepared to never get back. Personally for me that would be nothing at all. His business is not viable and he should let it fold and get a job.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 21/04/2024 20:55

You need to change the title to 'dp wants to borrow money from me' as your current title is causing confusion hence the votes.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 21/04/2024 20:55

You won't get your money back.

If a bank thought they would get their money back, they would have lent to him.
The fact they won't says it all and the have far better methods of assessing risk than you.

Onetiredbeing · 21/04/2024 20:56

Do you have children?

2Old2Tango · 21/04/2024 20:56

Financial institutions assess the risk and if they won't loan then it's because they think he won't be able to repay. As we always hear on MN, only loan if you can afford to not get repaid. If you do loan him money, make sure you have a written document showing the loan amount and your terms for being repaid. Get him to sign and date it.