Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu not shaving my legs

240 replies

hairybeary · 01/04/2008 10:58

tis is causing a bit of friction (excuse the pun) between me and dh.

i really cant be bothered doing it, its the winter and i am living in jeans, when the summer comes round and i am in crops etc i will start doing it again then.

last night i had my legs streched out on the couch and he made a really childish comment about it, basically along the lines of he thinks its horrible and wants me to wear socks (in my own f**king house)

to be honest it was more the childish way he put it that pissed me right of, had he said it in a joking way i possibly would have toddled of upstairs and got a razor out.

this is the same man who finds periods yucky and wont ever let his dc see him without having at least shorts on, he has a very childish view about a lot of things.

anyway once we went to bed last night he made a move and i said no-way, if my legs were that horrible then why on earth would he want to have sex with me.

aibu about this? do you always have your legs done? i shave under my arms every few days but thats because i am terrified of having b.o. i would leave them in the winter as well if i could.

btw my legs are not even that bad, i have fair hair so its only some dark hair around my ankles that are noticable, above that you cant see anything.

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 01/04/2008 22:19

Message withdrawn

MotherFunk · 01/04/2008 22:20

Message withdrawn

lucyellensmum · 01/04/2008 22:22

I don't shave my legs and i don't shave under my arms - why would i want to do that??

I'm not saying ive never done it but i can't be bothered. Among the ten million things i have to do, shaving my legs has very low priority.

I do occasionally shave my, um, fanjo because DP likes it so that blows any of my feminist arguments out of the window - i dont do it because i can't be arsed, no other reason than that

LilyMunster · 01/04/2008 22:24

oh dont get yer knickers ina twist dear i mean it as nicely as can be...

i dont think theres any danger of womens rights superceding mens anytime soon, so dont fret on that account. is all i mean... but nicely! hey, im smiling here

MotherFunk · 01/04/2008 22:25

Message withdrawn

zippitippitoes · 01/04/2008 22:25

im sure feminism has nothing to do wioth shaving yiur legs

neither does wearing a bra

LilyMunster · 01/04/2008 22:30

feminist does not actually mean anti men tho. but apart from that, well done p

NiftyNanny · 01/04/2008 22:35

My last protest, I had a sticker (and gave them out) saying
"Pro Sex Anti Porn"

Believe me I'm not a butch lesbian man hater, I just think feminism should be about promoting the right of women |TO BE EQUAL| something that we aren't, right now.

I used to get paid a good few grand less than my colleagues, with the same amount of experience but a different set of genitals.

MotherFunk · 01/04/2008 22:48

Message withdrawn

TenaciousG · 01/04/2008 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jessiejane · 01/04/2008 23:20

Motherfunk, feminist does not mean man-hating. liking sex does not mean you have to think porn is okay. having hairy legs does not make someone unattractive. it is time we looked beyond these narrow stereotypical attitudes. wanting to 'feel sexy' is just another way of saying you want men to find you sexy. after all, if you were alone on a desert island it wouldn't even occur to you to shave to 'feel sexy'. how we feel about our looks is totally tied up with how others view us, until the day we decide to free ourselves from this. so yes, you have been conditioned by society and culture, which is, as you have acknowledged, male dominated. and, btw, it does seem to me that you are being deliberately provocative.

Mumcentreplus · 01/04/2008 23:29

What the be-jesus has man hating got to do with feminism???...I love men...but I hate that they can get paid more than me for doing the same job!...it's that simple

MotherFunk · 01/04/2008 23:32

Message withdrawn

zippitippitoes · 01/04/2008 23:39

well i have a shower every morning and shave my legs and armpits at the same time regardless of what im doing and i dont live with a man

i also floss my teeth twice a day whether i am going to be kissing or not

and wash and blow dry my hair

its all the same thing to me just grooming and feeling clean and tidy

i alos wear clean knickers

and perfume

even if im not seeing anyone for days

unless i m depressed when of course it all goes to pot

in fact maybe that is why i like to do this stuff when i fel ok cos when i feel like shit i don't

MotherFunk · 01/04/2008 23:44

Message withdrawn

TenaciousG · 02/04/2008 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zippitippitoes · 02/04/2008 00:06

well i dont think its such a big deal, and if you are in a relatuonship then talk about these things and compromise and make each other happy

i prefer the feeling of my hairless legs to my hairy ones

some people prefer short hair and some long

some feell like they have a dirty face if they wear make up

its personal choice rather than the rights of women in my book

jsut like whether you wear matching clothes or jeans or prefer skirts

2GIRLS · 02/04/2008 00:36

I don't really shave my legs because when the hair grows back it causes intense itching, and my dh prefers my hairy legs to the sound of me scratching my legs until they bleed.
Even creams do this, I don't have time to get them waxed and when they are long enough to wax I couldn't let anyone see them in that state anyway, i am dark haired and the hair on my legs looks like a mans (isn't dh lucky that I don't shave ).

I don't feel unattractive and dh doesn't seem to mind.

I do shave in the summer if I'm wearing cropped trousers because women do not have hairy legs-I don't care what anyone says, society has conditioned us to think this way.

lovecat · 02/04/2008 06:52

2GIRLS, I was with you on your reasons for nto shaving as I suffer this too (plus spots, dermatitis and a tendency to ingrown hairs) until you said 'women do not have hairy legs..' - erm... can you not look beyond society's conditioning? Why submit yourself to somethng that physically harms you because of the pre-conditioned expectations of a load of 'others' who you don't even know?

It's perfectly natural to be hairy. I'd be deeply suspicious of a bloke who wanted me to defur my fanjo, why would a grown man want a woman who looked like a little girl down there? I think the increased sexualisation of everyday and the prevalence of porn has got a lot to answer for there...

I'm also somewhat offended by the opinion offered on here that hairy = dirty. Hairy women wash too, you know!

Am [] at MF's comments re. feminism - you don't have to be Millie Tant to want and expect equal rights and not to be discriminated against in any area of your life simply because you don't have a dick. If you think that feminism is about somehow having more rights than men, then you've been sadly misled and possibly reading the Daily Mail editorial slightly too closely...?

To the OP - YANBU - far too much pressure put on us (by the media, by expectations of others, by OURSELVES!!) to be 'groomed' at all times. If I was any less groomed I'd be a bag lady, but DH and many others still find me sexy as hell...

harpsichordcarrier · 02/04/2008 07:32

"I find hairy legs unattractive. it is time we looked beyond these narrow stereotypical attitudes."
MF you crack me up

zippitippitoes · 02/04/2008 08:51

i didnt say hairy legs were dirty lol

i said i shaved mine in the shower as part of my routine for getting clean and facing the day and it takes about 90 secs as i do it everyday and i only do up to my knees

i ahve no opinion about whether other people shave them

or leave them to grow

but i dont think it is a feminist issue

neither is wearing make up or painting your toe nails

or wearing perfume

or havuing your hair cut

or dressing up to go out

buying a nice bra

kama · 02/04/2008 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Countingthegreyhairs · 02/04/2008 10:44

Sorry - I've just skimmed the thread - coming to it v. late - and am probably repeating what's been said before ...

... but I'm sure evolutionary biologists out there will have better/further details but I remember reading somewhere about children being designed to be attractive to adults (large eyes, small noses etc etc) so we respond positively to them - for the sake of their survival - just as they have high voices and cry alot so they don't get ignored!!

Therefore, our (adult) idea of beauty tends to equate to what is child-like (shiny hair, unblemished skin, white teeth etc) and as children don't have pubic hair or hair on legs or armpits, then we equate that with beauty too. Or some'at like that anyway ....!! Perhaps a proper biologist can put us right on this ...

Personally, I think it's up to what the individual feels happy with. When I had plaster removed from my leg after six weeks I was confronted with the leg of an 80 yr old man covered in black "fur" so I tend to shave!! I never want to see that sight again!! I love hair on dh though!! But I agree with others that it is about how happy you feel in your own skin. You don't have to be hairless to feel sexy.

I think your husband's attitude is really off tbh. I would continue to do what you feel comfortable with. This is about your husband modifying his attitude and behaviour, not you changing yours!!

dizietsma · 02/04/2008 11:12

Well, Kama, I have slept with hairy and shaved women, and I can assure you that giving head is just as easy on a hairy woman as it is on a shaved. IMO anyone who says it's easier to give head when a woman is shaved is either not very good at giving head or making up excuses for their preference.

Personally I don't find being hairless makes me more sensitive, but everyone is different I suppose.

kama · 02/04/2008 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn