To do this at a child's party where I was the facepainter

[BrickTraybake]

I am trying to establish a small business as a facepainter just to earn a little extra money.

Yesterday I did a childs birthday party for one of the mums at my DSS's school. I did it at a discount price for her as she said she would recommend me to all the other mums and she is the PTA and said she can get me a slot at school fairs.

I have a system where I get the children interested in having their facepainted to write down their name on the list and then I call them when it's their turn so there's not loads of bored kids queueing. The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion. It's worked well so far.

So yesterday one mum puts a massive X in the photo consent box and writes next to it NO PHOTOS NO SOCIAL MEDIA!! fair enough.

When it came to that child's turn, I wrote next to her name "pink Tshirt" just to remind me of who she was in case I accidently got her in the background of a pic.

Mum paid up, everyone happy. Then later on Facebook I saw her post thanking everyone for coming to the party and the mum of pink t-shirt girl wrote underneath "thanks for inviting us! Shame facepainter wrote down details of what my child was wearing?? Bit odd 😂" and the mum shock-reacted it.

I'm so upset. I was so looking forward to hopefully getting more party bookings and a place at the school fairs. This was only my third party and now I'm worried this mum will gossip that I'm a wierdo and I won't get any more.

Was I in the wrong? Should I reply??

Hang on no. It's not on to criticise how she filled in your form imo. She has probably crossed the box then thought oh I don't want any ambiguity (when you vote people cross for yes" so then written to make it clear

The irony astounds me.

Make sure you keep all SM communication very polite and formal... It can only be a good thing for your business.

Good luck with everything op

But you need to reply quickly op, so that people actually read it.

I thought you needed proper gdpr forms for what you do though. Just ticking a box is not enough.

I would just put a quick - "Face-painter here. Glad the kids enjoyed the party. I just needed to remind myself which children not to use photos of on social media." To be honest, if the mum just vaguely feels she'd rather not have her daughter's face on social media (which is fine), she may not even remember she ticked the box! Like obviously if she said "no" because her daughter's father is likely trying to find the daughter's location and kidnap her for more abuse, the mum will ALWAYS be thinking "NOTHING that might show her location, ever", but if it was a casual "no", then she might have just forgotten what she said!

Sounds to me as though she wanted something to make a fuss about. Anything would have done.

She sounds like an aggressive pita , just reply politely to her and I bet the majority of people who read it will be thinking she's a bit of an idiot

There are plenty of her type in both my dcs school fb pages . The majority of us read and roll our eyes about them

She was being weird but also there's no need to wright down anything about a child you're not photographing. You're only going to be taking a close up picture of faces while the kid is still sat in your chair so no chance of another child being in the picture.
Also you don't need to wright anything down, verbal agreement is all that's needed.

Good luck!

You did nothing wrong. But do explain it so you get more work and she looks like the idiot she is. Personally I like your system. Mine is 13 now but lord do I remember those long waits.

to be honest, she sounds unhinged. I would imagine the other mums are used to her and won't pay any attention. a polite professional response will make her look even more stupid than she already does.

Don't PM her. Reply to her comment on the status so that everyone else can see you did nothing wrong and that she's very silly.

Just be polite and professional - "sorry for the confusion, it was so I could identify your child and comply with your wishes regarding social media. Hope you had a great time!"

Then forget about it. She sounds like a nightmare.

That. She obviously didn't realise why you wrote those details down but it is easily explained.

OP, just don't take it too much personally. I tend to do this over analysing and overthinking a lot. But there's one lesson I learned two years ago and it made clear "We don't know what's behind the scene in other's life." Just that, often what's going on may not be a reflection of us but a reflection of their own life.

So don't take it to heart and just lightly but professional clarity in response. No need to make it sentimental, as it's really not about you (but her).

See if changing the perspective helps. Good luck with your face painting business. 😊

I don’t think you did anything wrong at all, but if I were you, I’d respond as soon as possible. As it stands, people are seeing a post where you’ve been accused of doing something ‘weird’ and there’s no explanation why you’ve done it. The quicker you respond, the quicker parents will see that there’s a perfectly sensible explanation and it’s the mother of pink t-shirt child who is being a bit odd, not you. If you leave it much longer, there will be less parents who see your response and will just be left with the impression that you’ve done something odd (even though it’s perfectly innocent.

I wouldn’t say you did it to allow you to identify the child whose parent didn’t agree to social media, just say you write additional means of identification if there are more than one child with the same name

no need to let everyone know the parents personal wishes

That wouldn't work if there weren't 2 kids with the same name (which mum would no) and if if there was only one child with something written next to them.

Honestly, don't overthink it, just reply. It was a perfectly reasonable thing to do, she just doesn't know the reason yet.

How on earth would anyone know that 🤷‍♀️

If you haven't replied yet do it now. Don't leave it hanging.

Please use this OP, it’s great! And make sure you reply ASAP from your business account!

The actual wording is "(business name) may wish to use images of children to promote the business on social media, our website and in written literature. Please tick this box if you are happy for images of you'd child to be used in this way.

I would get rid of the 'in written literature' part because it sounds so full-on. I would find that a bit too much for a child's birthday party. People don't want their child's picture on the side of a bus.

And if you want to put any photos in written literature then ask for consent specifically or use photos of a friends dc.

This.

Definitely explain on her comment. Keep it polite.

FWIW I used to do face painting and loved it. If you can get in on festivals or holiday parks you’ll make plenty of money.

She sounds like a sly nasty trouble causing twat. You need to put the record straight this is your reputation she is damaging. What a weirdo, try not to let it get to u

h

I try and find a narrative that gives me a bit of empathy for 'challenging' parents. It always keeps confrontation at bay and I don't worry about it as much. Maybe she has a reason to be super anxious about other adults. I know this is unlikely but I just think, well maybe there's that 1% chance she's really lovely but has a backstory that justifies it.

Next tactic is to kill them with kindness 😂.

Hi everyone! We take safeguarding really seriously here at xyz, we would hate for a child to accidentally be posted online who shouldn't be so sometimes write down a reminder.

Don't worry about the other parent, remember this woman has made a public complaint about her child's party. 99% chance she's a knob!

This....... I'd even use the 🤷🏼 emoji because I'm petty like that too!!