To do this at a child's party where I was the facepainter

[BrickTraybake]

I am trying to establish a small business as a facepainter just to earn a little extra money.

Yesterday I did a childs birthday party for one of the mums at my DSS's school. I did it at a discount price for her as she said she would recommend me to all the other mums and she is the PTA and said she can get me a slot at school fairs.

I have a system where I get the children interested in having their facepainted to write down their name on the list and then I call them when it's their turn so there's not loads of bored kids queueing. The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion. It's worked well so far.

So yesterday one mum puts a massive X in the photo consent box and writes next to it NO PHOTOS NO SOCIAL MEDIA!! fair enough.

When it came to that child's turn, I wrote next to her name "pink Tshirt" just to remind me of who she was in case I accidently got her in the background of a pic.

Mum paid up, everyone happy. Then later on Facebook I saw her post thanking everyone for coming to the party and the mum of pink t-shirt girl wrote underneath "thanks for inviting us! Shame facepainter wrote down details of what my child was wearing?? Bit odd 😂" and the mum shock-reacted it.

I'm so upset. I was so looking forward to hopefully getting more party bookings and a place at the school fairs. This was only my third party and now I'm worried this mum will gossip that I'm a wierdo and I won't get any more.

Was I in the wrong? Should I reply??

This!

OP, have a word with your insurance company.

They can provide templates for photo consent forms etc.

Are your allergy forms detailed? If not they can provide those too.

Yes but the full policy will be available on request.

The thicko mother needs to be told that you wrote the colour of the outfit down so that you could make sure she didn't accidentally get in any of the photos and therefore could she delete her comment, thank you.

Thanks all. I do know I am being a wuss but you wouldn't beleive the amount of confidence I needed to build up just to do this I have painted kids faces at birthday parties for family members for free for years and I have been told countless times that I should do it professionally but I never have the confidence. I'm only doing it now because I really need the money. My first party I was crying on my way there I was so nervous. But thank you, I will put on my brave pants and reply to her
I am a bit scared of her though. She was really forceful and she put a massive X over the box using her own black felt tip pen and pressed so hard she ripped the paper a bit lol

this is perfect. But definitely reply so people know why

I'm sure she'll be well known in the party group for being 'forceful'. Just stay chirpy and factual as in the suggested replies and you'll be grand.

This. She may not have realised why you did it.

I am a bit scared of her though

No need to be scared of her. She's unlikely to hire you for a party, but a polite and factual reply will potentially lead to more bookings. If anything her comment has done you a favour as it allows others to see how you respond in a professional manner.

If you're going to do facepainting you really do need to toughen up a bit.

Kids and parents can be brutal.

I did it for a number of years and even things like closing off a queue can cause a kick off. There's always a crying kid or a parent who doesn't mind literally begging you when you're all packed up, or people who ask you to stay extra because they haven't booked enough time, or a million people running a million charity events who expect you for free.

Be polite and factual back on this occassion , but find a way to take pictures without anyone in the background at all, because there will be kids who aren't getting their faces painted who could be in the background as well.

The mother sounds intense at best. Dealing with the public this will happen more than you'd like so you do need to learn to deal with it.
With that in mind - view this as a way to "practice dealing with the public" i like theessage suggested by previous posters.

Side note with free business advice:

• People will take the piss.
• please ensure people either pay deposits or pay upfront.
• NEVER discount your prices for anyone again unless you are getting something tangible.

Eg. If that mother said she wanted to book you for 4 separate events you could give a 10 or 20% discount IF she pays upfront for all 4.
Or you could have offered 20% off her next booking if 3/4/X people booked you based on her referal/ recommendation.

Thank you and it's a good point but on this occasion I painted literally every kid,,there were only 10 at the party. So it was easier just to single out the one kid who couldn't be in photos.

The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion.

They should be signing GDPR compliant photo consent forms, not just ticking boxes OP.

This can seriously invalidate your insurance.

Thank you!

This absolutely. That woman sound like she's probably a PITA of epic proportions in most areas of life so I'm pretty sure most in that circle know this.

Bearing in mind she's a Big Cahoona in the PTA (just spotted how close to PITA that acronym is ... coincidence? ) world I agree replying as recommended is a grand idea to the point of faux puzzlement.

I would reply. Please note the description of the top colour, was a note for me to ensure (as requested) your daughter did not appear in any social media. This is a usual part of my safeguarding and consent process.

Bearing in mind she's a Big Cahoona in the PTA (just spotted how close to PITA that acronym is ... coincidence? ) world I agree replying as recommended is a grand idea to the point of faux puzzlement.

Reading comprehension not your strong point, is it? It was the party host mother who is involved in the PTA, not the mother of pink t-shirt girl, who was a guest at the party. Still, don't let facts get in the way of having your wee pop at the mums and dads who give up their time to fundraise for your kids.

I'd go with one of the responses you have been given OP, but not the one starting with "hiya!" which is about as unprofessional as you can get. Also agree that when someone posts a dickish comment on social media and gets a response which is polite but points it out as dickish, they just end up looking even more silly.

The woman is a prick. I don't like my child being on social media but I wouldn't have a problem with that, and wouldn't say something like that. Your system sounds perfect, ignore.

Just reply and explain. Try not worry about it.

as an aside I don’t use Facebook etc and don’t want pictures of my children on the internet at all (so many weirdos out there that collect children’s pictures). I’m really sick of having to opt out of having my child’s picture taken/used. It should not be asked or done in my opinion. People can offer if they’re desperate to have their kids on Facebook/websites, but really annoying having to always refuse and look like a twat.

But you don't have to opt out in this case. The OP said you had to tick a box if you DO consent. So not consenting is the default and you actually have to opt IN. OP's done a great job in making it fair and avoiding mistakes

Which makes pink t-shirt mum a little weirder as she went to the trouble of writing that and putting a massive cross when all she had to do was... nothing.

@Applescruffle oh yes OP has done it the right way. I wish opt in systems were used more often. I’m constantly having to say no which is awkward

I can see why it would be.

I also just think opt in is safer as less chance of a mistake, I think. I think opt out is a bit sneaky and relies on people not seeing the box

This

Sure she is know the the class /mums as that mum

We have one of those in our class....

Many replies saying the same thing

So yes say politely

As you requested no pics on sm , making a note of what your child was wearing made sure I could check easily she wasn't in any pictures even background ones

Some people are just unnecessarily aggressive. You did no wrong.