To do this at a child's party where I was the facepainter

[BrickTraybake]

I am trying to establish a small business as a facepainter just to earn a little extra money.

Yesterday I did a childs birthday party for one of the mums at my DSS's school. I did it at a discount price for her as she said she would recommend me to all the other mums and she is the PTA and said she can get me a slot at school fairs.

I have a system where I get the children interested in having their facepainted to write down their name on the list and then I call them when it's their turn so there's not loads of bored kids queueing. The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion. It's worked well so far.

So yesterday one mum puts a massive X in the photo consent box and writes next to it NO PHOTOS NO SOCIAL MEDIA!! fair enough.

When it came to that child's turn, I wrote next to her name "pink Tshirt" just to remind me of who she was in case I accidently got her in the background of a pic.

Mum paid up, everyone happy. Then later on Facebook I saw her post thanking everyone for coming to the party and the mum of pink t-shirt girl wrote underneath "thanks for inviting us! Shame facepainter wrote down details of what my child was wearing?? Bit odd 😂" and the mum shock-reacted it.

I'm so upset. I was so looking forward to hopefully getting more party bookings and a place at the school fairs. This was only my third party and now I'm worried this mum will gossip that I'm a wierdo and I won't get any more.

Was I in the wrong? Should I reply??

Has she responded OP?

The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion.

I'm quite lax about these things but I would never sign anything so vague and wishy-washy as that.

Promotion for what? One could reasonably assume promoting the face painting business, but it could be anything else in the future as it's non-specific.

Then how long will my child's images be stored and how will they be stored?

Will they be sold to a 3rd party?

It's interesting that the OP has ignored all comments about legal consent forms and the possibility her insurance may be invalid.

I think this is perfect. Anybody with any common sense will read your reply and understand exactly why you noted down her outfit.

What a negative, spiteful cow! I'm sorry this happened to you, OP. I'd definitely say something along the lines of you take your job and parents' wishes seriously, and the note was for identification purposes only.
Good luck with your new business!

The insurance can be a nightmare, there needs to be risk assessments done as part of the insurance and this one was a headache for me.

I just ended up painting my kids faces, and using facepaint model books that I practised on to demonstrate what I could do, quite often I would get tagged in party photos as well, but that was 100% on the parents.

im sorry op - everyone is right about how to reply but I wanted to say - that would really have bugged me too!

I would reply nicely to her and say you are sorry if she felt it was an odd thing to do but you wanted a fool proof double confirmation to avoid putting her in any group photos.

I would also ask the Mum who booked you to gently have a word and explain that the face painting was only possible because of the discount and the PTA would be sorry if you got a bad review because of a misunderstanding.

Grrrr at people being so touchy and spiky.

Exactly this

I also would definitely NOT write in public 'as you requested' as that is private information. She might be a victim of domestic abuse?

I work in a role involving photos of children and there are many very good reasons a parent would be really terrified of their child being identified.

Also - any parent has a right to say no - their child isn't your business model/ product - Im not sure it's a great idea anyway tbh.

Ughh one of ‘those mothers’.
Would love to know if the kids father is as uptight (if there is one). Unless there is a legitimate safeguarding concern involving this kid, she is batshit.

@BrickTraybake

Did you reply to the comment on the Facebook page op? I hope you did.

This is the perfect response. You’re being totally professional and she’ll hopefully feel a bit of a prat.

It seems a bit ironic that she wants her child out of photos, and then is drawing attention to herself and her child!

pm her and explain. Explain your starting out and if she was happy with your work perhaps she’d edit her post to a nice comment about face paining instead and tag you.

Bit ridiculous you didn't just respond back "have to keep track of the kids that can't be posted on SM." Tagged both the mum & pta

Don't PM - post it publically on your own page & tag her & the original mum in

I’d reply, but with more than one example of a reason, so it doesn’t expose that this parent (ironically) asked for privacy. Something like “Hi there, thanks for the question! I occasionally write notes to help me adhere to any special requests, for example if a parent doesn’t want their child photographed or wants to be there while their child’s face is painted, etc. Hope that clarifies. Such a brilliant bunch of kids, was a pleasure to be a part of Tilly’s special day.”

The actual wording is "(business name) may wish to use images of children to promote the business on social media, our website and in written literature. Please tick this box if you are happy for images of you'd child to be used in this way."

I am also right there in the room, usually sitting next to the form, so they can just ask me if they need more info or they can of course just not tick the box. It's really none of my business why and I'm not going to question it, I'm just grateful for the people that do tick, which so far has been literally every single person bar things one lady.
I'm also brand new. I've done three parties. If I'm doing something wrong then I'm open to polite and constructive feedback.
I only object to people calling me wierd in public and saying nothing to me directly when they had the opportunity.

This.

Some customers are a pain in the backside, you have to get used to dealing with this type of batshittery.

As PPs say, just respond to explain briefly why you noted down the clothing and forget about it.

Yes explain why.

She had pictures of her kid on her Facebook too. Her profile pic was her whole family.
Which is fine because I get it, its about consent and she gets to choose which images she wants out there. It's her kid. But was the big black felt tip cross and capital letters necessary? Just don't tick the box, love. She went out of her way to make this point and then made a bigger one in public.

I haven't done it yet. I really want to get it exactly right.

Nothing to fear OP, just explain.

Reply that you were going to list her kid as the annoying ugly one , but restricted uourself to 'pink t shirt'.

I'd get on with it in case this thread makes the daily mail