To think you don't actually get treated better if you're slim, it's because your attitude changes?

[bobsandvangene]

What do you think?
I often hear people say they get treated better if they are slim than fat. But I think (with the exception of the really supermorbidly obese who probably do get treated negatively/differently) it's probably just that you act more confident/have better self esteem/etc and attract a different vibe because of it?
I guess there's no real way to know.
But I'd be interested in those who have been in both sides of it.

Are you writing based on your own experience? Or your own assumptions?

I've been briefly slim when I was younger and don't think there was a difference particularly, although maybe I was younger and less self aware.
It's interesting isn't it, and as a fatty also quite depressing!

Couldn't say as someone who has always been slim, but I very rarely get treated badly. Is it common to be treated badly in public places?

I heard a woman on the radio recently saying she is treated so much better after losing a lot of weight, like she was invisible before. But could it be she was making herself invisible. I know I'm doing less than I might do if I was thinner. It's such a shitty feeling to feel less than.

My self-esteem is fine at any size, and I’ve been everything from 12 to a 22, and I’ve been taken aback by the sharp differences in people’s attitudes.

The evidence over large numbers of people suggests that thin people do have advantages such as more likely to get a job or taken seriously in the doctors

I doubt it's you changing and becoming more confident because not every thin person is at all confident and unconscious bias is so powerful an effect

Really? That's so interesting?
From men and women?
And in an every day sort of way or just you get compliments etc of thinner.

Interesting point OP I’ve been slim and overweight and do feel that I’m not taken as seriously now I’m overweight but my confidence has definitely plummeted with the weight gain so it could also be the way I project myself.

I'd heard that more conventionally attractive people are more successful at interview.

Nope, you're definitely treated differently and I'm probably more self confident now than I was as a slim young woman.

Not always no. Most common, and far more than people like to admit, others treat you based on how you look. I've seen overweight joggers be jeered at and mocked more than slim ones. I've seen people, usually men, completely ignore women they perceive as unattractive or overweight in work and social situations. Not everyone is good. We need to be honest and acknowledge that.

This is it. I was full of confidence before and got lots of attention.
Now I'm just ducking and diving it really. But is it that 2 stone or is it that I feel embarrassed of how I look and so I don't present the "talk to me" face.

I seriously doubt it. Do you really not think that people judge others on their weight, and in some cases treat them differently too? Lots of people have real prejudice and disdain towards overweight people they see or walk past in the street, so I don't see how that can possibly be based on the person's self esteem!

I’ve lost 14 stone over the last few years. People treat you differently.

The two big differences I’ve noticed have been general manners - people hold doors, say excuse me if they need to pass, and wait until I get out the lift/off the bus before trying to get in. I also get offered a seat on the bus much more often - and medical professionals. I’ve finally been taken seriously for an issue I’ve had for over 10 years that is nothing to do with weight.

I’m also given much more respect/manners when dealing with my DDs medical professionals (she has a life limiting condition). The difference there is stark

Are we talking a bit overweight or a lot.
I'm sure very very heavy people probably get a lot of shitty comments.
But do you think a size 12 woman and a size 16 woman who look otherwise similar would be noticeably treated different

Plus, if course, it's far from guaranteed that a person who loses weight will automatically become confident. If somebody has been self-conscious about their weight all their life, that may cause long-lasting issues even if they lose the weight.

I’ve noticed the difference the most from around size 18/16 to size 12.

That's such a worry.
Do we prejudge overweight people as having poor judgement or something,

It's well researched how men particularly mistreat women they do not find attractive.

Read this article and what Gwyneth Patrol said on how she was treated whilst wearing a fat suit for Shallow Hal.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/shortcuts/2020/mar/02/gwyneth-paltrow-said-starring-in-shallow-hal-was-a-disaster-heres-why-she-is-right

Attention from men? Or treated differently by everyone?

Yes, I strongly believe people do think that someone who is overweight is thick.

Everyone. Particularly medical professionals.

I think we have an inbuilt judgement on people who are overweight - that they don't look after themselves. That would reflect in them being treated differently in a doctor's surgery or in a job interview.

Urgh that is depressing

Yes, I was an overweight, working-class Oxford undergraduate, and some peoole appeared to find this a literally incredible combination.